So, I got a phone call from my manager at work… besides training on Saturday morning, I now am scheduled for shifts on Sunday afternoon and then 9-5 M,W & F. Thankfully I have T & Th (& Sat?) off to work on my thesis proposal. I know I should have worked on it more over the past few weeks/months… but I have always been slow to write papers because I suck at writing them. And now it seems that I’ll have a couple days a week to work on it, at best, and I’m not sure if that is physically enough time to get it done when I want to get it done by.

I guess I only have myself to blame… I did have the whole summer to work on my paper. And I did… I took 50 pages of notes from 50+ sources (and I friggin’ READ all of those articles… I didn’t skim anything, I read them all. And took freakishly detailed notes). And now I’m in the middle of my Literature Review… I still have to finish the 4th part and start/finish the 5th part and then do my Methods section. I wanted to have the Lit Review done by the end of September. That’s not looking like it’s going to happen… as the end of September is next Thursday (btw – how the F**K is it the end of September already? Where has the time gone?).

But, I will work on it when I can… which means next week on my days off I will not be playing ping-pong or Yahtzee with my mom. I will be holed up in my room, sitting in my red recliner with all of my books and notes lining the arms. But, this also means that my free time is pretty much done with until who knows when. My mom gave me the “that’s life” line when I kinda broke down and was like “I hate working and trying to get my paper done at the same time” this evening. I knew it was coming, but I just hate that I am going to be working a job that has absolutely nothing with the field I want to be in *and* that I basically have two college degrees and I’ll be making 50 cents more than minimum wage. My dad said I should be thankful that I have a job in this economy… and I am. But one day, I would like to have a job where I actually look forward to going to work because it’s something that I am passionate about, and not just some job that I need so I can pay my ever-increasing health insurance bill every month. Because *that’s* what’s happening right now.

I can’t wait to finally get my thesis done within the next year and get a real job or at least apply to doctoral programs and study stuff I’m passionate about.


I was trying to make this a short post so I can go to bed soon. I set my alarm for 7:30 even though I have tomorrow “off” because I will have to get up early on Saturday, and I like to try to get used to waking up early after a few days of sleeping in until 9.

My dogs let me sleep in again, which was nice. It was pouring down rain the whole day, which was not nice. Not at all.

I took care of them and then sat down to breakfast and the 1987 movie Some Kind of Wonderful. Based on the description the Netflix menu gave me, I should not have watched this movie, but I remember some other movie I watched awhile ago kept mentioning this one, so I thought I would check it out. Plus, it was written by John Hughes… and I love John Hughes 🙂

After a bit of the movie, I turned it off to straighten up a bit and work on my paper. I maybe got a paragraph or two done when my mom called to tell me that she and my dad would be back in 4 hours.

I had more to straighten and dishes to do, so I ended up scrapping my paper for today to clean up and stuff before they got home.

I finished Some Kind of Wonderful while having lunch… it was okay. A bit cliche (maybe it wasn’t for the time it was released, though), and totally 80s-tastic. Hughes had a way of tackling bigger issues with relatable dialogue and characters. I could probably write an essay about what this movie ended up meaning to me and how I could relate each of the main characters into my own life and people I know/knew… but I’m glad I saw it, even if the ending was tied up a bit too neatly. However, I will say that it upped my appreciation of Eric Stoltz. (What ever happened to him? I haven’t seen much from him as of late…)

It poured outside all day, so I had many opportunities to try out my new rain boots. Success – they are leak proof thus far.

My parents got home after 3. They told me a bit about their trip and we had some tea before they went out to get pizza for dinner. I fed the dogs and let them out. The mail man hadn’t come yet, but there was something in our mailbox, which I put on the dry sink in our foyer. Since the mailbox was wet, the paper inside it was wet too… and as soon as my parents got home from getting the pizza, I got yelled at (sternly scolded?) by my mom for putting the wet paper on the dry sink.

Basically it was insinuated that I ruined this piece of furniture with the wet paper, as it had left some sort of mark on the dry sink. Awesome – my parents are home for 2 hours after being away for a week and I ruined an inherited piece of furniture.

I apologized several times before I finally had the chance to go down to my room to be out of the way/not ruin anything else in the house.

My mom came down after a bit and said she fixed the spot that the paper had left and all was well. Thank god… it was not going to be a good weekend if I ruined their furniture.

We had pizza and watched the news.

At 7 we watched Bones… Now, I love Bones. It’s one of my favorite shows. BUT, it’s up against Community and 30 Rock. And we don’t have a DVR, and my mom loves Bones, so we watched Bones and I’ll have to watch my other shows on-line at some point.

You probably don’t think that’s a big deal, but I have a problem watching video online. Staring at computers make my eyes hurt really bad… I have my glasses on right now, but they’re not helping much. My eyes are super bloodshot because of how much I have to look at a computer as it is. Watching TV online is not going to help that… plus, I always have a problem streaming video 😦 AND 30 Rock is my favorite show of all time. I’ve never not seen it on the night when it airs. Double 😦

I know I am complaining… and about stupid things (television and having a job). I’m sorry about that. I am just epically tired and very, very anxious. I have anxiety problems about time. Being places on time. Finishing things on time. Watching things at a certain time. I have to get to a movie theater at least 15 minutes before the movie starts. I have to check my alarm clock a few times before I go to bed (and in the middle of the night if I happen to wake up) just to make sure it’s set to go off at the right time. I have to be early to work or class. I always know the running time of a movie. Etc… I’m sure this is some form of OCD. And time physically makes me antsy. My heart races and my mind won’t shut off. This is usually why I can’t get a full night’s sleep.

So, anyway, we watched Bones and Grey’s Anatomy (which is a dumb show, but I’ve watched it since Season One because of peers, and I just keep watching it out of habit). And during Grey’s is when my manager called. (But you already know that story…)

And, after Grey’s, I came down to my room to type this. Then I’ll read a couple chapters from my Steve Martin book and try to go to sleep.

Sides notes from last night about television (Spoilers ahead):

1. Survivor – I’m glad Shannon went home. He seemed like a huge jerk. The younger tribe is gonna have problems…

2. Modern Family – !!!!!!!!! – Soooo glad this show is back on 🙂 I laughed out loud multiple times. There are no weak characters on that show. I love everyone… but mostly Cam, Mitchell, Phil, Luke and Manny… and everyone else too! The writers manage to pack so much story into 22 minutes, it’s brilliant. I love when Cam was reading Lily tabloid stories, the princess castle stuff, Luke’s jar of sunshine, and basically anything that comes out of Phil’s mouth. (for the record, I think Ty Burrell is a comedic genius and waaaaaaaaay attractive)

3. Letterman – I actually stayed up to watch Letterman interview Joaquin Phoenix. I watched last year when Phoenix was on Letterman and he had that beard and was acting all weird… now it’s good to know that Phoenix has not gone off the deep end and that his beard/crazy days were all part of his performance for Casey Affleck’s reality movie “I’m Still Here.” My hat is off to Phoenix for committing himself to his craft the way he did for that year and a half – that is more method than Daniel Day-Lewis, in my eyes. I love Joaquin Phoenix and have been a huge fan of his work for well over a decade. I have seen a majority of his films and think he is an amazing actor. I really want to see “I’m Still Here”… especially now that I know that he didn’t really quit acting to become a rapper. Phoenix was really great on Letterman last night, but I was not impressed by Letterman at all. He made the entire interview about himself, which I thought was selfish and unprofessional. He kept demanding money for the 5 minutes of the original Letterman interview that ended up in “I’m Still Here”. Bring it up once, fine. But make the whole interview into the “David Letterman was duped and demands money. Plus let’s joke how ‘I’m Still Here’ isn’t doing well in theaters” show was just plain wrong and not good television. Boo to you, Letterman. I think Phoenix deserved a better interview than that. Phoenix probably brought more viewers to your show last night… show the guy some respect by not making the entire interview about yourself. Geez.

(And scene)

I’ll link out to stuff at a later date… I need to get to sleep 😦

Have a good one