So, instead of going to bed at a reasonable time last night, I was up reading some blogs… and somehow I ended up on Facebook (of course). There’s a Darren Criss concert in Chicago in August, and I really really wanted to go, but I didn’t want to go by myself. So, out of pure curiosity and epic tiredness, I asked if anyone from around where I live is going to the concert and if so, if they wanted to carpool.

The beauty of the Interweb, is within mere minutes, I had somewhere to stay, a group of people to go with, and now have a super awesome weekend awaiting me in August.

And those who know me best, know that I’m not usually this spontaneous about anything. I’m usually the one making lists, planning ahead, and sticking to a schedule.

But you know what – I deserved a little crazy right now. I wanted to go to the concert, so guess what… I’m going. And it’s going to be f**king epic. And I’m going to meet a ton of new people. I’m going to see a concert *and* a play. I’m going to spend a lot of time with people I don’t know at all. But the best part is, even though I don’t know anyone, we all already have a common bond. So, we automatically have something to talk about, something that links us all, regardless where we are from or who we are.

I kinda needed this right now. More than I would probably care to admit.

In the past year, I lost two of my closest friends. They’re both still very much alive, but our paths haven’t crossed in a very, very long time. The kicker is, I know why this happened. But, it’s not my place to reinsert myself in either person’s life. These friendships fell apart for very, very different reasons. But at the same time, the reasons are super similar. I know this is all sorts of cryptic, but it can’t be helped.

But, I can say (well, write), that it’s been really hard trying to move past both losses. And I know I haven’t quite completely found my footing yet. But, I have a couple people who are still in my corner… and thankfully I’m seeing one of them next week 🙂

I cannot wait to go see my sister next week! I talked to her a bit this morning to tell her about my trip to Chicago. She told me I was crazy, but she was happy for me. We lived together for 4 years… she knows me pretty well. But I think even she doesn’t quite get that I can be more fun than a lot of people give me credit for.

True, I was never a huge party-goer. I’ve only ever gotten drunk twice and I don’t plan on that ever happening again. I am always thinking about the consequences of actions, and value the practice of saving instead of instant gratification. I keep my guard up a lot and am not a huge fan of big crowds.

But, I have my moments. And this Chicago trip is definitely going to be one of them. I’m actually really looking forward by being surrounded by a bunch of people who are all going to be there for the same reason I am – Darren Criss and his music. It’s kinda nice feeling like a part of a community – a part of something special – a part of something bigger than myself. *shrug* Sometimes it’s just nice to fit in, you know? (The best part is, this concert is during a huge Pride festival in Chicago. And as a straight girl who is 100% for gay rights, it’s going to be extra awesome to get to be a part of this event. I am going to be surrounded by amazing people the whole weekend… I just know it 🙂 )

Needless to say, after initiating plans for Chicago last night before I went to bed, I had trouble sleeping because I was so excited. I literally was smiling too much to fall asleep.

I was still really jazzed about the trip for most of today. Work kinda brought me back down to reality, though. People were double checking that I was doing my job right. I was, as far as I knew. No one ever properly trained me… so even though I’ve been there for more than several months, I often feel like I’m flying blind. I ask so many questions, which I’m sure people hate, but I need to make sure I’m doing stuff right because it seems to change at the blink of an eye. I hate feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing even though my job is obviously not rocket science.

No one came to break me, so I was stuck in my work area for my entire shift. My stomach was ready to start eating itself. So, when I was done, I walked as fast as I could to my locker… and for a split second I thought my purse had been stolen. I switched purses from the one I normally use and forgot my lock in my other bag, so I had to risk putting my purse in a locker w/o a lock. I was praying to anyone up there who would listen for my purse not to be stolen. (I pray every night, always first for my family and friends’ health, safety and happiness… but this afternoon, I admit I was a bit greedy and was just focusing on my purse not getting stolen. Sorry.) I wrote the locker number down, but of course my eye was drawn to the locker that was hanging open (and empty) and thought that was mine… but it wasn’t. It was the one *next* to it. Phew.

I drove home, belting The Book of Mormon songs all the while. “You and Me (But Mostly Me)” and “Man Up” are still my favorites 🙂

I got home and had dinner with my parents. I told my mom how thankful I was for her and my dad and apologized for not telling them that more when I was little. My parents are the best. Hands down.

We watched some Modern Family and Happy Endings reruns and then I headed downstairs to type this and then go to sleep. For reals this time.

I’m off for a few days, so I will be job hunting and making a bunch of mix CDs for my trip. Mix CDs are the only thing I like about driving. True Story.

Have a good one!

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