I know I’ve written before on here how soul crushing my job is. (For the record, I have never said where I work, nor will I ever say where I work. Although, many years from now, this information is going to be fair game for a novel I am planning on writing…)

Today something happened that hadn’t happened yet… my job made me cry. And not just cry – friggin’ sob. This hysterical sadness did not happen at work – I managed to hold myself together until I got home. (I was proud for not crying while I drove home… instead I just yelled a lot and sang really loudly.)

Anyway – why I was so sad.

So, it was a busy day at work and I was by myself in my work area. I’m used to that, so this was nothing new. A colleague was going to come into my work area about 45 minutes before I left, so I figured if I hadn’t gotten a break before she got there, I would take one when she got there, if only to fill up my water bottle and take a couple minutes to eat a granola bar and clear my head.

The air is really dry in area where I work and it just sucks all the life out of you. If you don’t keep hydrated, you get worn down easily. So, by time my colleague got there, I was dehydrated and dizzy. My colleague ended up having to answer a phone call, so I waited until she was done before I was going to go on my break so as not to leave the work area unattended. Right as she hung up and I turned to her, a manager came up to our desk and asked why my colleague hadn’t gone over to a different work area to give another colleague a break. Both my colleague and I had confused looks on our faces… I mentioned how I hadn’t gotten to take my break yet, but since I only had 20 minutes left, I would forego my break so the colleague in the other work area could take her break since she was going to be there for another 4 hours.

The manager then proceeded to ask me why I hadn’t gone on my break earlier because she sent someone down to break me and that someone should have called and arranged that break with me. I told her that no one called, and certainly no one came down to my work area to relieve me so I could take my paid break. The manager pretty much told me “oh well.” So, as my colleague walked over to the other work area and the manager turned to leave, I called out to the manager and told her that I didn’t get my break and that in all honesty, we rarely get the breaks we are supposed to get in the work area where I work. I informed her that I had a lengthy conversation with my manager about this, but how it hadn’t been remedied. I again informed her how I was displeased that I did not get my break today and she said, “Oh, we’ll owe you one.”

She may as well have slapped me in my face or spit on me.

“Oh, we’ll owe you one.”

ONE?! If she “owed me one” for every break I ever missed (a lot of them on her shift, mind you), then I would need to be compensated for a 40 hour work week at the very least!

Right after she said this and walked away, I wanted to cry. I didn’t, but I really wanted to. At this point, my head was spinning so fast I was afraid I was going to knock something over. (And there is a lot of expensive shit in the area where I work…)

The real kicker was that I was supposed to leave in 15 minutes and since they pulled the colleague from my work area, there wasn’t going to be anyone in my work area once I left – and mind you, it was busy today.

I called the manager line right before I was supposed to leave (and unfortunately had to speak with the woman who insulted me mere minutes ago) and told her that I needed to leave and that there wasn’t going to be anyone there. She said that was fine.

I ended up not leaving on time because I had a huge line of people. So by time that line was gone, another colleague had made her way down and was going to cover my area. I thanked her and told her a brief version of what happened. She wished me a happy afternoon as I clocked out and pulled a granola bar out of my bag. I shoved that thing in my mouth so fast I almost choked. I was never so thankful that we only have escalators instead of stairs because I was so dizzy, I had to lean on the railing. Since I didn’t get a chance to fill up my water bottle, I was choking down lukewarm water, but I didn’t care at that point. I made it to my car, but sat for a minute to make sure I was okay to drive.

The drive home was colorful. I had on my neon pink sunglasses even though the skies weren’t sunny. I had my music turned up, but every other line or so, instead of singing the lyrics, I would just yell to myself “Oh, we’ll owe you one!” I was so pissed. I knew I would calm down eventually, but at that point in the car, I was just angry at the world.

I got home to find my mom outside painting near the garage. She looked at me and I just broke down. I tried to coherently explain what happened. I was just so frustrated. So, I cried. And I cursed. And I cried some more.

When I calmed down, I went inside and put on my pajamas. I then went to the kitchen and grabbed leftovers from dinner last night – steamed broccoli and chicken/garlic rice. God, I love broccoli. My mom sat down next to me and watched as I calmed down. We played some Yahtzee and my head stopped spinning a bit.

While she went to finish some chores, I went down to my room to finish my movie project I started the other day. When I finished, I went upstairs to find my mom had built a fire in the living room. I put on some Mad Men and my mom covered me with a blanket. Moms always know what to do 🙂

I have calmed down a lot since this afternoon. I was just so frustrated. But, as my mom reminded me, this job isn’t my career and at least it pays the bills.

So, I am okay now… I watched the Community and Parks and Rec premieres. I missed those shows like whoa. Now we’re watching the X-Facter. I’m really not loving the show (even though I missed Simon), I just was hoping for some Glee promos. (None thus far – boo.) Dude, this Xander Alexander guy is RUDE. You don’t get to trash talk Bruno Mars or Simon. HelltotheNo

Well… I’m gonna finish watching the show, then I’m gonna read.

I work tomorrow and Saturday… but then I have Sunday off – woot!

Have a good one