So, since I had off today, I figured I would try and straighten up my room a bit – try to get stuff in order. I finished unpacking from last week only to find my pink Darren Criss sunglasses had broken in half. I have another pair, but they are signed, so I won’t be wearing those… I will need to find some pink sunglasses in my near future.
My room is still a bit of a wreck, but at least I can see most of the floor. All the dirty clothes are in a laundry basket. All my magazines are stacked. All my dresser drawers can close without being forced. You know, progress…
I was hoping someone would take my shift at work tomorrow so I could go visit my sister and her new puppy, but that didn’t happen. As sad as I am that I’m not going to be able to see my sister, I guess it’s for the best. I could really use the $30 I’ll be making tomorrow.
I need to find a new job. I have been saying this for a year, but it’s really been too long at this job.
Funny enough, I was very inspired by the movie I watched this evening – Take Me Home Tonight.
Yes, the Topher Grace/Dan Fogler movie.
I found myself very much identifying with Grace’s character. I too have graduated from college (though I made it through graduate school while his character finished undergrad) but have no idea what I want to be doing. I live with my parents (go ahead and laugh… I am super thankful that my parents have allowed me to move back in with them for a bit. I’d seriously be living in a cardboard box right now if it weren’t for them.). I work a crappy job that doesn’t challenge me in the way that a career would. I consider myself a failure, but the truth is, I haven’t tried at anything to fail at anything, so really I’m just underperforming at life.
Well, no more.
I have been and will continue to apply for jobs like crazy. I am determined to move out of my parents house in the next few months and I am going to better my life and be somebody. I’m a smart person. (No really… I am. HS valedictorian. Graduated w/honors from college. Have 2 degrees.) I just lack direction right now. There’s so much I am interested in, but I have this epic fear that I’m not good enough at anything. (This, I’m sure, is a lie. My self-esteem is not awesome, to be honest, and I’m sure that does not help the cause.)
I’m going to use tonight’s screening of Take Me Home Tonight as a catalyst for me getting a good job this year and moving forward with my life and career.
I’m not going to have sex with my high school crush on a trampoline. I’m not going to do drugs or steal a car. I’m not going to ride in a giant ball.
BUT, I am going to make strides toward figuring out what I want to do and who I want to be. I’m awesome, dammit. And I deserve to work at a job that challenges me as well as utilizes my skills and talents. I deserve financial security. I deserve f-ing benefits.
So… here I am, ending this post so I can apply to a few more jobs before I go to bed.
Have a good one.