WORD to your mother. I will link out to videos/audio clips as soon as I can… my Internet is STILL whack. Sorry, all.

(SPOILERS for Glee Season 3 Episode 18 – “Choke”)

Oh Glee… after such an amazing and heartfelt episode last week, I expected this week’s episode “Choke” to be filler. And it was. Filler with a hefty dose of preaching. For this week’s recap, we’ll go by song in the order that it was sung.

1. Music of the Night – NYADA auditions were upon Kurt and Rachel. Rachel actually opened the episode with a monologue about formation of stars and how she’s a star. In the auditorium, we saw a stage full of candles, Kurt dressed as the Phantom of the Opera, Tina dressed as Tina, Artie with a fog machine, and Blaine in the audience… thinking everything Kurt does is wonderful and amazing (with the exception of Kurt wanting more candles… Blaine muttered to himself how there shouldn’t be any more candles. This was one of the few funny moments of tonight’s show). Kurt was toying between doing this song and “Not the Boy Next Door” from Boy From Oz. Right away; I was praying Kurt would drop the Phantom bit. While he did look quite attractive in his Phantom get-up, the staging of his song was way too over dramatic and cliché.

2. School’s Out – Oh, Puck… poor kid was passing all his classes except for European History. (Euro History is hard, man… though I had the best AP Euro History teacher known to mankind. Mrs. Mogen – YOU ARE THE BEST!) Puck thought he could flatter/flirt/seduce his way to a passing grade in that class. However, his teacher was not having it. After getting rejected by his teacher, Puck busted out his guitar and tore down the hallway/glee room/football field singing “School’s Out” surrounded by a bunch of other rebellious kids. I love Puck – he’s one of my favorite characters… he’s not smart, but he’s got heart (seriously… my favorite character arc of all 3 seasons). I liked how the song ended with him standing in the choir room w/his guitar on the floor. That showed that all his rebellion was in his head and he’s really just stuck in reality – which is him, in glee club, and very much in danger of not passing his class.

3. Cell Block Tango – Oh, Coach Beiste. I wanted to give her a huge hug the whole episode. The first time we saw her tonight; she had a huge shiner on her left eye. A group of the glee girls (Santana, Mercedes, Sugar, Brittany and Tina) joked that it was the result of Cooter hitting her, but Coach Beiste said she got hit with a boxing bag gone astray. The synchronized swim coach and Sue overheard the girls and were pissed that they would joke about domestic abuse. So, this episode got real preachy real fast when Sue, Nene from RHOA and Beiste sat them down and told them domestic abuse is not a joking matter and that their assignment for the week is to sing a song about getting out of a bad relationship/situation. The girls sing “Cell Block Tango” and Beiste has to walk away during the performance, as it’s juxtaposed with Cooter flying off the handle at home. We don’t see him hit her, but Beiste finally admits to Sue that he did hit her. This is one of my favorite Sue episodes – as much as she’s unkind to Beiste at times, Sue offered her home as a refuge for the coach and was adamant that Beiste get out of that situation.

Domestic abuse is a serious issue and the show is right – it’s not something to be taken lightly. I’m glad the show also pointed out how there are so many songs out there that highlight abuse in a way that almost makes it seem okay. Domestic abuse is NEVER okay. And while I was not completely on board with Glee trying to tackle this issue within 42 minutes, I know it is something that needs to be addressed. If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, you/he/she needs to get help. No one deserves to be abused. Help is out there… for example, you can go here.

4. Not the Boy Next Door – It’s time for Kurt’s NYADA audition. He walks out on the stage in his Phantom garb. Days prior, Rachel told him he had to sing the Phantom song because it’s safe and it’s not the time to take risks. So, he is all ready to sing Phantom, when he realizes that everyone sings that. He changes his song selection while on stage… but he was ready for it, as he ripped off his Phantom outfit to reveal that he had on his gold pants and black shirt on underneath. Kurt, with an audience of Blaine, Rachel, Mr. Schue and Whoopi Goldberg (guesting as the NYADA rep), sang and shimmied his little heart out with a rousing rendition of “Not the Boy Next Door.” You’ll remember that Hugh Jackman sang this on the Tony’s a few years ago and actually won a Tony for his role in Boy From Oz. Kurt’s version was pretty great and he received very positive feedback from Whoopi. Watch out, New York… Kurt might be coming your way soon.

5. Don’t Rain on My Parade – Rachel “I’m a Star” Berry decides to go with her old reliable. She’s been singing this song since she was a toddler and dammit, she was going to get into NYADA with it…. Or was she? Part way through the song, Miss Berry forgot her lyrics. Doesn’t she watch American Idol? Forgetting lyrics is BAD. So, she asks to start again and she does… this time forgetting her words within the first couple bars. BUH-WHAT?! When she asks for a second mulligan, Whoopi shuts down the audition and gives Miss Berry the hard truth. You get 8 bars. She got 16 and messed it up twice. The audition was over and it would seem that Rachel is likely not NYADA-bound anymore. Sucks to be her.

6. The Rain in Spain – Oh, Puck. After a visit from his dad (who he hasn’t seen in 5 years and who only showed up to borrow money), Puck realizes he doesn’t want to end up like that. So, he walks into the choir room, destroying Finn’s epic plan to have the Glee guys (minus Kurt) grab Puck and force him to study. I love that Blaine and Artie (and Rory and Joe) who aren’t seniors are still part of the group and are very willing to help Puck study/graduate. The boys end up in the choir room late into the night (it’s mentioned it’s 3 am at one point) and they are all trying to help Puck with his Euro History. They end up singing a rocked out version of “The Rain in Spain,” which should have been horrible, but it was actually semi entertaining. And, I love all things Puck… and I like when all the glee guys are together. They were really pulling for Puck and were even all outside his classroom after he was done with his test. Puck felt confident when he was done (he knew the answers that were straight out of the song…) and he thanked all the guys for helping him. I laughed when he said that they’ve all been like dads to him these past four years, “Even you, Blaine,” and Blaine was all like, “Um, thanks?”

7. Shake It Out – Beiste finally confesses to the glee girls that she was hit by her husband. The girls feel horrible about it and say they always thought Cooter was a nice guy. She said a week ago, she would have said the same thing. Tina asked if she was going to press charges, and Beista said she might. (Um… should she really be telling the students this?) The girls apologize to Beiste and sing her this song. Beiste sits there and tears just fall down her face. I love Beiste. She deserves to be loved. She deserves so much better than this. One of the most hearbreaking things about this storyline is that Beiste says she didn’t leave Cooter because she didn’t think anyone else would love her. That poor woman ☹

8. Cry – And then the episode ended on three huge downers. Kurt approached Rachel at her locker and tried to cheer her up/talk about what happened. She said she choked, he said there’s still room for her in New York, and maybe even at NYADA. Rachel told Kurt she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He gave her a hug and said he loved her. She did the same to him, then walked down the hall and started singing “Cry.” She ended up on the stage, sobbing as she sung in an ugly, ugly cry. Throughout the song was a montage of Rachel sobbing into Finn’s arms, Puck getting his Euro History test back with a big F on it, and Coach Bieste sitting at the dinner table with Cooter… and him thanking her for giving him another chance. WHAT?!?!?!?! I was so sad/mad about that. (And, I know this is wrong… but the whole time Rachel was crying/singing, all I could think about what the Dane Cook “I Did My Best” bit. Right?!)

What I was not sad about (besides the cute but weird Bike Chanderson moment tonight when Mike asked Blaine about hair gel in the locker room) was the promo for next week’s episode… PROM! Last year’s prom episode was so good, so I have super high expectations for this year’s episode. Hopefully it’ll be a little more happy than tonight’s episode. I’m actually really excited that they are singing One Direction’s “That’s What Makes You Beautiful.” I actually kinda love that song now… as cheesetastic as it is.

END SPOILERS

Well, Have a good one!

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