So… prom.

I’m just gonna say right off the bat that last year’s prom episode was far superior.

That being said… here’s what happened tonight on Glee.

(SPOILERS for those who have yet to see 3×19 “Prom-A-Saurus”)

NOTE – I will link out to videos/audio as soon as possible. My internet is still slow as molasses and it’s hard to update my blog without my Internet crashing :/

The show opened with Rachel feeling super sorry for herself. (This was a theme throughout for her throughout most of the episode, unfortunately.) She was in her room, packing up her dream box now that all of her dreams have come crashing down. She choked on her audition last week. She has no backup plans for college. Basically, she’s screwed because she put all her eggs in one basket and then that basket got run over by a steamroller that was being driven by REALITY.

But I digress…

Through her voice over, we find that Rachel is somewhat thankful to be part of the crowd (i.e. not special) anymore. She’s going to focus on prom and her prom dress. Way to go, Rachel. I did appreciate the bit in the auditorium where she was dressed as Barbra Streisand/Fanny Brice… even doing the exact same iconic Barbra pose.

Rachel walks into the bathroom to find Becky posing in the mirror. Becky wants to be Prom Queen, but Rachel tries to prepare her for that not being the case. Becky calls Rachel a failure as she leaves.

After the “glee” title card, we find Brittany in Figgin’s office (he addresses her as “sexy teen trollup” – because that’s appropriate…). He tells her that she’s done pretty much nothing as Senior Class President and that she’s failing all her classes. She’s doing such a bad job that he says he might discontinue the presidency in following years. Brit says she’s been accepted to Purdue… not the university, but the chicken factory. Oh, Brit.

Brit decides to step it up w/prom duties, so she meets with the prom committee. She shoots down their idea of “Castles in the Clouds,” and “Stairway to Heaven” and tells them they are going to have “Dinosaurs” as a theme because of the Bible/the coexistence of caevmen and dinosaurs. Yikes bikes, yo.

Meanwhile, in Sue’s office, Becky reprises her Grease xylophone preface to Sue’s announcement of Prom Court. Nominees for King are Rick the Stick, Brittany S. Pierce and Finn Hudson. Nominees for Queen are Missy Gunderson, Santana Lopez, and Quinn Fabray. (no1curs, yo)

In the choir room, Mr. Schue announces that the New Directions will once again be the entertainment for the prom. Brit then announces that the theme is Dinosaurs and that Santana and Quinn will count the King/Queen ballots. She also says that there will be a ban on hair gel since it didn’t exist when dinosaurs did. Blaine laughs at this… the look on his face screaming “oh, she must be kidding,” but she’s not. She tells Blaine she doesn’t like he looks and he’s kind of dumbstruck.

In the hallway, Rachel tears down a Finn/Quinn Prom poster (with the same aural cue as last season when Quinn tore down the Lucy posters…), and then confronts Finn about how she’s mad at him for campaigning w/Quinn again. She says this year is going to end up like last year – with Finn getting all the attention with the blonde cheerleader and her having nothing.

After the commercial break, we see Quinn and Joe at Quinn’s physical therapy. The girl is up and kind of walking. She falls over at the end, but she was up and out of her wheelchair. Joe is so happy and supportive, but Quinn tells him he can’t tell anyone about her being able to walk.

Back at McKinley, Becky is walking the hallways while her glorious Helen Mirren voiceover tells us that Becky thinks she should be Prom Queen. Sue tells Becky that she needs to stop being such a terror – Becky has been destroying xylophones and knocking over people’s lunch trays. Sue tells Becky she didn’t get the votes because she’s a bitch with a bad attitude.

Meanwhile, on the stage, Rachel sings “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” then is joined by Kurt and later Blaine. (side note – they usually don’t perform the full-length song on the show, and this was no exception. However, they totally cut out my most favorite part of this version of the song… the verse where Kurt sings about “be My Valentine” and Blaine sings “we’ll be playmates and lovers and share our secret world”… I know why they didn’t use this chunk of the song in the show tonight [it was a Rachel moment, not a Klaine one…], but their part of the song was the most powerful and contextually relevant with regard to the canon of their relationship. Epic le sigh.)

While on stage, Rachel vents about how she doesn’t want to go to prom. Kurt also doesn’t want to go because of what happened last year (he got voted Prom Queen and was humiliated). Blaine says he doesn’t want to go either because of the hair gel ban. He’s worried the static electricity from balloons and taffeta will cause major hair problems.

So, in glee rehearsal, Rachel announces that they (she and Klaine) are throwing an anti-prom at a hotel (she also invited Becky). Puck is the only one who says that he’s in with her plan because he’s likely not graduating either. Santana calls Rachel out on throwing an anti-prom because she’s avoiding dealing with all the crap she’s going through. Santana calls her petty and selfish and says that she (Santana) will be at prom with her girlfriend and the other seniors.

In the hallway, Quinn and Finn hang more posters. A girl from prom committee approaches Quinn and says she’s an inspiration and deserves to win. Quinn gives a creepy as hell speech about her injury (which is obviously now a big ol’ lie since we know Quinn can walk again) and Finn tells her as much. Finn says she’s wrong to use her injury to get votes.

After the commercial we arrive at prom. Mike Chang reads the mind of the audiences when he expresses his love for dinosaurs. (Also, Mike and Tina FOREVER, yo.)

Brittany sings “Dinosaur,” marking the second time she’s sang a Ke$ha song infinitely better than Ke$ha (see also “Tik Tok”). She sings and dances while flanked by cheerios who are wearing these ginormous dinosaur masks (bobble heads?).

At the punch table, Sue tells Finn that she put Visine in the punch (gross). Finn asks where Quinn is, and she suggests looking in the bathroom. Finn goes there and sees Quinn standing up at the sink. Finn calls her out on lying to everyone. She just goes on about how she wants to walk up on stage when she accepts her crown. Finn is pissed… like Hulk pissed. He yells at her how she has everything and that Rachel has nothing (i.e. he’s at prom instead of with Rachel at her anti-prom because of Quinn). Finn says what we’re all thinking… “Same old Quinn.” GOD, does no one on this show ever learn from anything? (The answer is yes – Puck does… but more on that in a bit.)

Rachel, Kurt, Blaine, Puck and Becky walk into their hotel room and Becky immediately says they should play strip poker, get wasted and that she brought condoms with her. Kurt points out that he and Blaine are gay, and Becky retorts that won’t stop her. This is looking to be one super lame anti-prom :/

At the for real prom, Santana sings “Love You Like a Love Song” while Samcedess dances. (They see Shane dancing and Mercedes waves at him… he doesn’t look bitter at all since he’s also dancing with someone.) I’m glad Samcedes happened this season… I buy it more now than in the finale last year. During the song, Finn “dances” with Quinn (omg, she needs to stand up now). Mike Chang dances by himself off to the side while Tina sings backup. (MIKE CHANG, LET ME LOVE YOU DOWN.) Back to Finn and Quinn… Finn tells Quinn to stand up (THANK YOU, FINN). She refuses. Joe walks up and Finn accuses him of knowing Quinn can walk. They exchange shoves but are quickly broken up by Sue who reminds us that she already threw Finn out of one prom (last season) and asks if he wants that to happen again. Then Sue calls Joe Jar Jar Binks. (I did laugh out loud at that line… not gonna lie.)

Back at the super lame hotel party, they are watching Tabitha Takes Over and Kurt expresses his discontent that anti-prom sucks. He tells his boyfriend that he will go to prom if Blaine wants to go. Blaine is still upset about Brit’s no gel policy and says that Kurt hasn’t seen him without enormous amounts of hair gel. (Um… remember when you got super drunk at Rachel’s house party last season, Blaine? Somehow your hair broke free of it’s gel-confinement and it looked just fine, my friend… JUST FINE.)

Finn shows up at the hotel just as Rachel steps out of the bathroom to show everyone her prom dress (which is beautiful, I’ll give her that much…). He tells her that prom sucks without her and it sucks without everyone else too. Finn gives them all a pep talk and Rachel, Kurt and Blaine leave with him. Puck stays behind with Becky.

Finchel and Klaine show up to prom right as Artie, Sam, Mike, Rory and Joe launch into the uber cheesetastic, yet RIDICULOUSLY catchy One Direction song “What Makes You Beautiful.” (side note – I have been listening to the Glee version of this song non-stop since Friday. It might be my favorite Glee song of all time. Yep… I said it. Boy bands are my Kryptonite. Add the Glee cast and I’m basically done for.)

Brittany immediately stops Blaine and tells him that he can’t come in because she can tell/smell that he’s wearing hair gel. Blaine looks like he got punched in the stomach as he glances over at Kurt. Kurt just kinda pats him on the shoulder and tells him he can do this. Blaine then walks off (and sadly is not seen again until, like, a few minutes before the show ends… buh-what?!).

Then we get to watch the Glee guys sing “What Makes You Beautiful” and it’s like “Friday Part Deux.” Everyone is screaming and swooning for the boys. It’s adorable. There’s some choreography. At the end of the song, Sam lifts Artie out of his wheelchair. This was one of my (few) favorite parts of the episode.

Back at the hotel, Puck is down to his boxers and socks… obviously bested by Becky who is aces at Strip Poker. Becky confides in Puck that she’s pissed about the whole Prom Queen thing. Puck, being the awesome guy he is this season, puts his clothes back on, and (beer box) crowns himself Anti-Prom King and Becky Anti-Prom Queen. Becky is legit happy about being crowned. They leave the hotel together and head to prom. (Btw – I love Puck this season. Like, so much. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… he’s had the biggest character arc of all since Season One and I dig it.)

Coming back from commercial, we find Rachel and Quinn in the hallway. Rachel apologizes to Quinn about being mad about the Finn/Quinn prom campaign. Rachel tells Quinn that Quinn means a lot to her and that she’s her idea of the perfect person. Rachel is proud to call Quinn her friend (even though Quinn really hasn’t been the greatest friend/person to her these past few seasons). Rachel also tells Quinn that she voted for her for Prom Queen (insert knife and twist, yo).

Puck and Becky walk into prom, arm in arm, with their beer box crowns. Puck tells Becky, “Game on, beautiful” and Becky distracts Sue while Puck spikes the punch. Becky asks Puck to dance and he tells her, “Thank you for making my dream come true.” (I just wanted to hug Puck this who friggin’ episode, oh my goodness.)

Santana and Quinn are off in a room tabulating the Prom King and Queen votes. Santana was pissed Brittany didn’t get King and she didn’t get Queen, and Quinn laughs when she realizes she won by one vote. Quinn laughs because she realizes she doesn’t feel anything/any different with knowing that she was voted for this position she’s trying to get for the last 2 years. She then asks Santana if they want to make a difference. Hmmm… I wonder what that means. (Not really… this whole episode was 100% predictable from beginning to end. Ugh.)

Coming back from commercial, we got a POV of someone getting weird reactions to their presence. When the camera lands on Kurt saying “Oh my dear God,” we know it’s got to be Blaine. And is it ever… boy is gel-free and has a bit of a fro going on. (Basically, it looked like Blaine was that kid from Jurassic Park right after he got shocked off of that perimeter fence… you know what I’m talkin’ about.) Brittany sees Blaine and tells him he can go put gel in his hair. Blaine looks relived and goes to leave, but Kurt stops him and says that he’s proud of his boyfriend for being product-free. (Blaine’s still cute with his fro, guys… and he could seriously still lay off the gel. Or at least, the shellacked look. The Glee people should just take a cue from Darren’s upcoming movie Imogene and style Blaine’s hair like THIS. Right? Yes.)

Prom court announcements happen up on stage and Joe wheels Quinn out when he name is called. (Ugh, stand up already, geez.) Figgins asks “sassy gay student” and last year’s Prom Queen Kurt Hummel to crown the new King and Queen. Finn gets named King (Fro Blaine cheers… adorable). Figgins says that the queen is once again a write-in. Kurt’s face drops with fear that it’s him again, but it’s not… it’s Rachel. Looks like Santana and Quinn wrote her in last minute. (Aw. Gag me.)

King Finn and Queen Rachel dance to Santana and Quinn singing “Take My Breath Away.” As they dance, Rachel asks Finn if this was a joke like Kurt last year. Finn gives her a pep talk and tells her she’s amazing. On the dance floor, Tina and Mike dance and she cries because she’s sad it’s all ending (aren’t we all, Tina? Aren’t we all?)

Quinn (finally) stands up mid-song (such a friggin’ drama queen, ugh) as she sings with Santana. Everyone gasps and Sam says, “It’s a Prom miracle.” (You know what’s a prom miracle? That I made it through this episode without falling asleep and/or throwing something at my television.)

As Finn and Rachel dance, she seems change her self-loathing attitude that’s been hanging over her like a rain cloud and says “Maybe anything is possible.” (I take this to mean that her NYADA chances aren’t over. But that’s just me…)

The only good part about this last chunk of show was the awkward poses of the glee kids and their dates on a dinosaur. The Klaine one was obviously the best one. Kanyeshrug

And that was prom. It was epically MEH in my opinion. I liked all the songs, but was very, very underwhelmed with the whole of the episode. With the exception of Puck, Blaine’s hair and the prom pictures, this episode sucked as much as their anti-prom.

Next week is Nationals. (And another episode… in fact, I think the other episode might be first. All I know is there are two episodes next week and I am pumped and sad at the same time. I can’t believe Season 3 is almost over :/)

And I guess that’s it… I’m going to go listen to “What Makes You Beautiful” a bajillion more times and hope that next week’s episode(s) doesn’t suck as much as this one did.

(end spoilers)

Have a good one