What a crap finale.

That doesn’t spoil anything for anyone… I just wanted to start this off by being completely honest. While there were a few great moments in the finale tonight, on a whole I was unimpressed and flat-out upset with some of the plot points.

(NOTE – my internet is still actin’ a fool… I will link out to videos and audio clips as soon as I can!)

So… for the last time for Season 3 (SPOILER ALERT for Goodbye)

The show opened with the original 5 Glee club members (Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie and Rachel) singing “Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ the Boat” and it cut between the present and the Season 1 pilot. My heart instantly went AWWWWWWWWWW and I not so secretly hoped the whole episode would give me the same kind of feelings that this little scene did. It was so special to see just how far these kids have come in 3 seasons. I got all nostalgic for Season 1 and I was ready to open my mind and heart to embracing this Season 3 finale.

Sadly, this feeling would not last for the entire episode.

Mr. Schue gave the kids their final assignment – Goodbye. The graduating kids were supposed to sing songs for the non-graduating kids, while the underclassmen were to sing songs for the seniors.

Each senior got a chunk of the show specifically for them:

KURT – Kurt walked down the hall musing how much he grew over the past 3 years. He spent some of his freshman year in the closet and in the dumpsters. But, now he’s out, has friends/is friendly to others, and has dreams of getting out. The very best part of the episode was when Kurt meets up with his dad in the auditorium and his dad gives him his graduation present. Burt, Tina and Brittany did the Single Ladies dance, and it might have been the greatest couple minutes on television ever. Like the opening number, this scene cut between Burt’s version and Kurt’s original Single Ladies dance from “Preggers” (Season 1, Epsiode 3). Mike O’Malley deserves ALL THE AWARDS for completely committing to the choreography. Ohmygoodness, I laughed so hard I almost choked on my Subway chocolate chip cookie.

Kurt and Blaine also had the most minute of talks discussing the potential downfalls of a long-distance relationship. Blaine brought it up, even though Kurt didn’t really want to talk about it. Blaine kinda gave Kurt an out if he wanted to not do a long distance relationship. Theboys brought up The Notebook. Kurt said he’d like for them to end up like the couple in The Notebook and that he wants to end up in a nursing home, telling stories about his first love. BUT, unlike The Notebook, Kurt wanted Blaine to be there with him and for both of them to remember everything.

You surely know by now that I ship Klaine so hard that you can call me Captain Smith. I will go down with this ship. As I mentioned in my glee-cap last week, Klaine hasn’t kissed since “The First Time” (which aired November 8, 2011). So, all I wanted this episode was a Princess Bride-level kiss for Klaine. Every other couple kissed last week… in this episode of saying Goodbye and with Kurt potentially leaving his boyfriend for the bright lights and big city of NYC, I wanted a Klaine kiss. Simple as that, right?

NOPE. No Klaine kisses. Besides them holding each other’s hands while talking about not breaking up because of distance, we barely got any Klaine contact. This epically stable couple spent a majority of the episode staring at each other from at least 3 feet away. They gave knowing looks, but that’s about as far as we got with them. Blaine handed Kurt a handkerchief when he was about to walk across the stage to graduate, but that’s all. Even in the last scene, when everyone was together to say Goodbye to Rachel, Kurt and Blaine were physically separated by Puck.

SO… thanks for nothing, Glee writers. What have you got against Klaine? (Speaking of TPTB being against Klaine… remember how I said that Fox was supposed to give us Klaine merch since they were voted Best Couple in some online poll? Well, HERE IT IS. They share the spotlight with other Superlative winners… you might not know this, but that is Season 2 Kurt and Season 3 Blaine. They may be Best Couple, but these ugly pieces of merch are the ONLY things that Blaine appears on in the Fox/Glee strore. They are also in the Thunderclap, but that’s IN a book, not on a book… I’m not buying any of this. Nope.)

But I digress.

OH, and remember how Kurt KILLED his NYADA audition a few weeks ago by singing “Not the Boy Next Door”? Yeah, he didn’t get in. I was super sad about this… especially because (1) it didn’t appear that Kurt applied anywhere else and (2) there was no Klaine scene after he found out, so we don’t know how Blaine took the news, what Kurt’s plans are now… really we don’t know anything about Kurt’s future because apparently Glee is The Rachel Berry Show (and frankly, I am sick of it.) I at least wanted a scene where Burt told Burt he didn’t get in. More Papa Hummel, please. ALL THE TIME.

MERCEDES – She didn’t get a huge to-do. BUT, we did find out she got a contract as a background singer for an indie label in LA and she’ll be taking courses at UCLA. And Samcedes is adorable. #justsayin

MIKE CHANG – I’m fairly sure he’ll be in Chicago in some dance company. I think. I honestly kinda blanked out during his scene because I was probably super frustrated about other plot lines. (Sorry Mike Chang… I love you.)

SANTANA – You could tell she was a tad jealous of everyone else’s plans. She got a scholarship into a cheerleading program in Kentucky, but decided she wanted to go to New York instead of going to college. Her mom (Gloria Estefan!!) was not super happy about that, but she wasn’t super mad either. She gave her daughter a check and told her that it was her college savings and that she should use it for NYC. Good for you, Santana. Get out of Ohio… and maybe get a new girlfriend. I mean, I like Brittana and everything, but Brittany isn’t graduating (seriously… a 0.00 GPA?). Santana shouldn’t stick around in Ohio to watch Brittany go through Senior Year 2.0. shrug

QUINN – I was never a fan of Quinn. I was glad she stopped being crazy and could walk again. But, I never really liked her. I always thought she was too much into herself and her own social standing. This episode she seemed to be really clingy and affectionate toward Joe and Artie (they must have bonded a lot off screen, friends-wise, when she was in her wheelchair), but she kissed Puck and told him that she loved him because he was her first. She helped him study for his European Geography test. She also had a nice-ish scene with Sue. Quinn tried to give back her Cheerios uniform, but Sue refused and said it was to be retired. They shared a hug and Quinn said she was going to miss Sue. In a very un-Sue moment, Sue had tears in her eyes (Sue, I think your Jane Lynch was showing…) as she hugged her in a sort of motherly fashion. Quinn is off to Yale. And apparently she’s good enough friends with Rachel Berry that she bought Rachel a metro pass from NYC to Connecticut. Aw, how nice.

PUCK – Oh, Puck, how I love you so. Poor kid still thinks of himself as a loser. Coach Beiste and Quinn helped him study for his Euro Geo test and guess what… he got a C-! (Or, a Puckerman A, as he called it.) So, the boy is graduating! He sang Glory Days and it was nice. It is still unclear if he is sticking around Lima or will be going out to Cali to start his own pool cleaning business. Maybe he and Mercedes can kick it in LA.

FINN – Oh, Finn. I actually liked your character for a few minutes during this episode. That hasn’t happened much this season, so props to you, Cory Monteith, for making me care about Finn again (even if only for a little bit).

One of the other highlights of this episode, for me, was when Finn went into Mr. Schue’s office to get his Thunderclap back from the glee teacher. Mr. Schue didn’t write anything meaningful in it, but both men kind of expressed what the other meant to him. I loved that they finally had some closure regarding Mr. Schue planting a packet of weed in Finn’s locker in order to blackmail him into joining Glee club in the Season 1 Pilot. Finn wasn’t even pissed when he found out… instead he told Mr. Schue that he was cooler than he thought. Nice.

Finn had his heart set on 2 things – getting his dad’s standing changed to an honorable discharge from the army and getting into Pace. Guess what same 2 things Finn did not accomplish by the end of this episode… yeah. I was not surprised with either of those outcomes. Obviously Finn was not going to get into Pace (sorry, bro) and it was going to be damn near impossible for him to clear his dad’s name.

HOWEVER, Finn totally brought it during the last scene. He picked Rachel up in his truck to bring her to their wedding but instead brought her to the train station. (I should say here that Racherl did get into NYADA… I will explain my thoughts on this in her section. Trust me, I have many thoughts about this.) In his truck, he told her that she could not defer for a year (like she planned) and that she was to be on the 4:25 (?) train to NYC to meet with her dads and find a dorm room. He told her that she has to surrender and go live out her dream. He also broke up with her. Yeah… that was kinda intense. He asked her if she was 100% sure about marrying him. She wasn’t, but he was 100% sure about marrying her, which is why he dumped her so that she could go to NYADA and be the star that he knows she is. There was a lot of ugly crying (on Rachel’s part), but I’m kinda glad he did what he did. He didn’t want to hold her back. AND, to keep her from following him, he signed up for the army. So, while she’s in New York, he’ll be in Georgia at Fort Bennington (I think that was the name of it…). I thought this was BRILLIANT. (Yes, a rare moment of awesome in an otherwise epically MEH finale). For the record, I still think Finchel is endgame (though, I would be tickled pink if somehow Jesse St. James got into NYADA next year and he and Rachel had a bit of a go… only for that to end super messy and then Finchel can happen again, I guess.).

RACHEL – UGH.

I hate how Glee is The Rachel Berry Show and everyone else is a supporting played in her life-long soap opera of getting everything she ever wanted while everyone else’s dreams and chances for solos swirl down the drain.

Rachel literally got everything she wanted (well, I guess except for Finn…). She was Prom Queen (didn’t get nominated, but somehow won). She got into NYADA (she choked on her audition, then annoyed the hell out of Whoopi Goldberg’s character, but still got in). She’s going to NYC (without her fiancé and gay bff, but hey… she’s Rachel Berry and is going to be studying Broadway near Broadway and that’s all that matters). And she’ll eventually get Finn back too (I’m fairly sure of this.). So, go ahead and ugly cry, Rachel, because EVERYTHING’S COMING UP BERRY. (Feel free to insert the music from “Gypsy” here.)

I am beyond upset that Rachel got into NYADA. I might have been able to stomach it if Kurt would have gotten in too… but for him to nail his audition and not make it and her to epically choke and still make it is frustrating for me, as a viewer of this show. Kurt’s had a hard 3 seasons… the kid came out, got bullied, his dad had a heart attack, he got assaulted/threatened, he lost the lead in the musical b/c of his own boyfriend, he lost the Senior Class President election because of Rachel stuffing the ballot box, didn’t get a proper solo at Nationals either year, and then didn’t make it into NYADA even though he did a flawless audition. Rachel had 3 boyfriends, the lead in the musical, had a shit-ton of solos, was in a bunch of clubs, was engaged to Finn (Oh yeah… Kurt can’t even get engaged if he wanted to b/c gay marriage is illegal in Ohio… so, there’s that), has two dads that love and support her, got reconnected with her birth mother, and still got into college even though she bombed so hard on her audition.

So… you can see why I’m rooting for Kurt. He has to overcome so much adversity. Rachel basically gets stuff handed to her via the writers. I don’t know why… she’s not very likable.

I will admit that I was happy she got dumped. Really, it was for the best. She gets to go to school in New York. NEW YORK. I would have given anything to go to school in New York (I have 4 or 5 rejection letters from NYU, Columbia and one of the SUNY’s, in addition to a Teaching Program I applied for in NYC… it was my dream to go to school there, okay?). So, she can wipe away her ugly creys, suck it up, and kick ass at NYADA. She best succeed there. If she got in and Kurt didn’t, then she best EARN her spot there.

And that’s basically what happened. People graduated. There was not enough Klaine or Mike Chang. Oh… there were songs. Let’s see…

Mr. Schue sang “Forever Young” (snooooooooze fest)
Kurt sang “I’ll Remember” (meh)
Rachel sang “Roots Before Branches” (ugly creys)
The underclassman/Mr. Schue sang “In My Life” (this was pretty solid)
Puck sang “Glory Days” (I love Puck. And this song.)
Somewhere in the middle of the show, the seniors sang a song to the underclass man… I will post a link later.

So yeah…

I was underwhelmed with the Glee finale. The only reasons I’ll stick around for Season 4 are (1) Darren Criss… I’m assuming he’s still going to be on the show as Blaine b/c Blaine will be a senior next year and (2) the music. The songs are catchy. Glee music is a majority of what I listen to these days (besides Broadway, really…)

Shrug

What did you think of the finale? Did you like it? Did you cry? Did you laugh? Did you wish it was different? Are you as sick of all things Rachel Berry as I am?

Le sigh.

(END SPOILERS)

Well… I’m off to work on my script. I’m on Page 81!

Have a good one… or at least try after than fiasco of a Glee finale :/