Two Degrees and Separation

It was a good episode in that it will launch us into somewhat uncharted territory for a couple of the show’s main couples.

It was a good episode in that ALL of the songs were great. Excellent song selection, powerful performances, very very well produced tracks.

It was a weird episode in that there were some odd editing choices that drew me out of the scene so much that I audibly complained at the television.

It was a weird episode in that there were some plot lines (*cough* Klaine) that lacked exposition and closure, leaving me sincerely hoping that after the hiatus ends, some questions will be answered.

So as not to clog your dash, my Glee-cap for 4×4 “The Break Up” is under the cut.

So… yeah.

Instead of going through the whole episode from start to finish, I’m going to break this mess down via the couples who were involved starting with my least favorite and ending with Klaine (where I will obviously have the most opinions because they are my ‘ship).

Jarley

Thankfully these kids (they’re sophomores…) didn’t have a song this week or a whole lot of plot. The show opened with Marley sitting at the lunch table and shoving her lunch tickets into her pocket. Jake confronts her about it, only to reveal that he uses them too. We get it – they’re poor and probably perfect for each other. But Jake’s still with Kitty. And she’s cray cray. Kitty’s plot line in this episode is she is in charge of a “Left Behind” club (which, as much as I dislike her, this plot line of being left behind is present throughout the entire episode…). She goes so far as to hold a meeting at Breadstix and stage a fake Rapture, causing an unsuspecting Asian girl to yell “WE’VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND!”  What a cruel joke. Marley leaves, telling Jake that she can’t believe he likes Kitty. Later, Jake breaks up with Kitty right in front of Marley… but then Marley immediately asks him to go over sheet music for the Grease auditions. Too soon there, girly. Give him at least an episode before you try and cuddle up to him.

Wemma

Ugh. No1currs.

Thankfully we don’t get too much of them either. But, I will say their one scene was pretty serious stuff. Remember last week when Will applied to be on that Blue Ribbon Panel for the Arts? Well, he got the spot and is supposed to be in DC for a few months… and he expects Emma to just drop everything and go with him (they are engaged, remember?). She puts her foot down and says she’s not some puppy that will just follow him around. She likes her job and wants to stay put while he is gone. He’s not happy with this. They fight, but don’t break up. There’s just some disagreement that’ll likely get worked out (or not?) in the coming episodes.

But again, No1currs.

They sing during “The Scientist,” but as they are both lit the whole time, they are obviously still together.

Finchel

I was surprised – I liked Rachel for a few minutes during this episode. That hasn’t happened since, like, Season 1.

At the end of the last episode, Finn showed up at Rachel/Kurt’s apartment (while Rachel was in the middle of a dinner date with Brody… awkward). Rachel hadn’t heard from Finn in months, and then there he was.

Kurt’s in the kitchen making eggs when Rachel exits her bed area. He muses that he’s glad he has ear plugs because he didn’t want to hear them having sex, but Rachel reveals that they didn’t sleep together… they didn’t even talk at all.

When Finn finally does come out (he calls Kurt “little bro” – aw!), he says he’s not in the army anymore. He was for 16 days, but then shot himself while cleaning his gun (which he named after Rachel – oy). He got a semi-honorable discharge. I don’t even know if that is a legit thing, but I do know that they had to write Finn out of the army because there was no way he was going to last there.

Rachel decides for him that he’ll accompany her to her NYADA classes in hopes that he’ll enjoy them and maybe audition/enroll there later in the year so that way they can be together. He goes to her class and realizes he doesn’t fit in there, or really with Rachel anymore. (Finn sings “Barely Breathing” in a duet with Blaine during this scene… Blaine’s half of this song will be discussed at length in the Klaine section.)

Finn gets coerced into going to the piano bar “Callbacks” with Rachel, Kurt and Blaine (who is now in NYC at this point in the episode, visiting Kurt 2 weeks before he was supposed to). Rachel wants Finn to duet on “Give Your Heart a Break” with her, but he declines and says Brody should sing it with her. So, he sits and stews while he watches his girlfriend and the guy who obviously likes her sing a romanticish duet. Awkward. (Side note – I was excited for this song, as j’adore the Demi Lovato version, but this ended up being my least favorite song of the episode. Sadness.)

To be honest, I don’t really know what happened with Finn and Rachel in the park because I was too invested in the Klaine story line to care about Finchel. (The super ironic thing here is I was on set when they filmed this scene… and even though Finchel was happening 20 feet in front of me, my attention was 100% on Klaine, who were farther away. Like, my friends and I didn’t even realize Finchel was happening until a few takes in because we were looking at Darren and Chris the whole time.)

Regardless, something obviously went down in the park, as Finchel provided half of the heartbreaking version of “Don’t Speak.” Both couples were in conflict and went to bed upset. (There were a bunch of weird shots of various Finchel and Klaine members crying in bed. It was too stylized and made the scene more music video-y than it should have been. They didn’t need to add any drama to what was already unfolding in the story.)

The next morning, Finn snuck out before Rachel got up. Well, he didn’t sneak out, as Kurt stopped him before he left (Kurt was waiting for Blaine, but Finn came out into the main area of the apartment first instead.). They had a decent Furt scene… Finn asks if Kurt is okay and Kurt replies “I kinda feel like I’m gonna die.” They both are concerned about each other’s relationship woes, which is nice. They give each other a big hug before Finn leaves. I like them as brothers and am glad for scenes like this where they do relate on that familial level. They are opposites, but complement each other nicely. Kurt asks Finn if he wants him to say something to Rachel, but Finn says no.

Finn goes back to Lima and visits Mr. Schue (ugh). They man hug, then Finn asks if he can talk to Schue about something, then they man hug again. Finn then ends up in the choir room, where he is approached by Blaine (Blaine is surprised to see him there… I’ll discuss their encounter in the Klaine section.). Other kids eventually come into the room and High-5 Finn while Marley and Jake are like “Who the heck is that?” OH, YOUTH.

Finn sticks around for the glee meeting (Mr. Schue says “You’re always welcome, even if you need to take a break and think things through.”). Needless to say, Finn will likely be hanging around the New Directions for awhile. He’s the one who suggests the school musical (Grease) and the promo for upcoming episodes indicate that Finn will direct the show. (But what about Artie?!)

Toward the end of the episode, Finn is on stage in the auditorium doing something with sheet music. Rachel walks out on stage and muses how that’s where they first kissed, where he proposed to her, where they first met. She calls it their Jerusalem (that’s taking it too far, in my opinion, but I guess the writers had to remind us she’s Jewish. They obviously forgot she was a vegan – they had her cook duck last episode and offer to make eggs this episode – so they’re hanging on to her Jewish roots for dear life, I guess.).

Then, Rachel is awesome for a couple minutes. She totally calls Finn out for not telling her where he’s been or what he was doing the past few months. She tells him she got on a plane and looked around trying to find him. She recalls what he did for her at the end of last season (putting her on that train) and told him that he was a man then, but not now. Rachel exclaims that she is a grown woman (her tone would imply that, as would her recent wardrobe upgrade, but a real woman wouldn’t keep cockblocking Klaine… #justsayin). Finn admits he’s jealous of Brody. Rachel tells him Brody doesn’t mean anything and that Finn was the first one who made her feel, and he’s her first love and she wants him to be her last. BUT, she can’t take it anymore “at least not now. We’re done.” (Oh snap, Finn Hudson, you got served.) Finn is stunned and asks what is he supposed to do with his life now – he’s got no girl, no job, nothing. They kiss and then Finn leads off a group number of “The Scientist.” I don’t like Coldplay, but this performance was powerful (Finchel, Klaine, Britana and Wemma all sing and it’s staged/lit well. Damn.).

Brittana

Brittany and Blaine wax about young love, hope and romance near the beginning of the episode and wonder where that went.

A little later we see Brittany and Santana folding a shit-ton of laundry. Turns out, Santana comes back to Lima to do her laundry every few weeks so she can spend time with Brittany. I was thankful when Santana bitched about Kurt’s internship (PREACH, GIRL) and how unlikely it all was that he landed that position how he did. Brit keeps yawning during this scene because she’s been staying up late to read the “Left Behind” series (she’s in Kitty’s group). Santana wonders why Brit reads those books… turns out it’s because she feels left behind. (Not in the spiritual sense… but with her girlfriend being away in college… well, Brit, if you did better in school, you would have graduated too #justsayin).

Later, in the choir room, Brit meets up with Santana. Santana sings a GORGEOUS rendition of Taylor Swift’s “Mine” and I am moved (and wonder where my floppy haired band guy is this season? Have you seen him???). She then admits that she hasn’t been a good girlfriend. They boy say they haven’t cheated on each other, but she tells Brittany that she had an “energy exchange” with another girl. (They smiled at each other and Santana felt something.) So, Britana doesn’t break up, but they kind of do. They do the mature thing and split up because of distance. They shared a sad kiss and then sang later during “The Scientist” too.

I never really shipped them, but I didn’t not like them either. I think their relationship started off as something of convenience to appeal to slash shippers, but eventually turned into something beautiful. I don’t know if they’re a forever couple, but this break up was mature and heartfelt.

Klaine

Sigh

Like, I knew most of what was coming, but was still shocked in places nonetheless.

Kurt is at his desk with his little headset on and he calls Blaine. They barely get two words in before Kurt’s phone is ringing off the hook. Blaine tells Kurt he misses him. Misses hugging him. Misses messing around with him. Kurt says that he’ll see him in two weeks, and that he hates to miss their phone dates, but his position at Vogue.com could be a career for him. As true as that is, you can tell from Blaine’s facial expressions/body language that he is upset with being second fiddle to his boyfriend’s internship (we saw this last episode too). Kurt’s phone keeps ringing and he muses that the person on the line is a colleague with good gossip. That’s doesn’t make Blaine feel any better about the situation. Nor does Kurt hanging up on him before he can even squeeze in his “I love you.”

After the phone call, Blaine launches into “Barely Breathing” (the aforementioned duet with Finn). Blaine sings in the hall, then alone in the auditorium stage. There he conjures up an image of Kurt… it’s the present Kurt (you can tell by the hair), but he’s wearing the same outfit that he wore when he went to spy on the Warblers during “Never Been Kissed.” This is symbolic because even though they are almost 2 years into knowing each other, Blaine’s first memories/vision of Kurt is still very present when he thinks of his boyfriend. Later, we see Blaine sitting alone in the choir room, scrolling through Facebook on his phone (as we all do…). We see him “Poke” someone named Eli C. and then said Eli C. sends Blaine two messages… one calling him sexy, and the other asking if Blaine wants to come over. You can tell Blaine is a bit flattered, then thinks for a minute, then he walks out the door. We know he’s frustrated with Kurt, but apparently he’s frustrated enough to receive attention from an outside source.

While this broke my heart in half, this makes sense. Blaine is almost always seeking approval or attention from someone. He wanted approval from his brother during their acting lesson in “Big Brother.” He wanted approval from Artie after a group of them sang “Call Me Maybe.” He wanted approval from Kurt all the time… in “Original Song” after singing “Misery,” After his West Side Story performance (the whole “I’m so proud to be with you.” “I want you to be.” dialogue). When he sang “Cough Syrup” in “On My Way.” Etc…  He wanted attention from Kurt last episode when he was trying to ask about what tie he should wear for his debate. He wanted attention from Kurt when he called to tell him the election results but Kurt didn’t pick up.

So, when Kurt hangs up on him this episode, Blaine is pretty fed up with it. So, when this Eli person shows Blaine some attention, Blaine goes for it. (The extent of which we will not find out this episode, sadly.)

However, as frustrated as Blaine is with Kurt, he still shows up two weeks ahead of time to New York City and knocks on his boyfriend’s door, armed with a giant bouquet of roses. Kurt is genuinely surprised and happy to see his boyfriend. They hug, then kiss, only to be cockblocked by Rachel. (Jesus, Rachel, we get to see you kiss Finn and Puck and Jesse and Blaine and Brody all the friggin’ time… this was only our 5^th Klaine kiss and you interrupted it! WTF?)

So, Finchel and Klaine go to Callbacks. When Rachel is done singing, she tells Kurt he should sing his Sweeney Todd medley, but he declines, saying he didn’t want to make Page 6… Vogue.com intern sings without warming up. (JFC, Kurt, get over yourself. It’s just an internship.) Blaine, who has been squirming in his seat, says he wants to sing.

He gets to the piano and introduces the song as a special song he sang the first day he met the love of his life. He then launches into the most heartbreaking rendition of “Teenage Dream” I’ve ever heard. (Now, this is saying something because I have almost 40 versions of Darren singing this song at various concerts/events/whatnot on my computer…)

I am beyond grateful that they let Darren sing this song again, play/sing his own arrangement and perform it live. As Blaine, he managed to run the entire gamut of emotions while performing and it was painful to watch in the best way possible. The way this scene was shot lent itself to being half Blaine/half Darren (all the medium shots and close ups of his whole face from the front were Blaine and all the side close ups were Darren… and then there was a HORRIBLE cut to Blaine’s back at one point in the song. That was one of the worst edits I have ever seen in my entire life. It completely took me out of the moment, which sucked. But I digress…). All the Darren stuff reminded me of Market Days. All the Blaine stuff made my heart hurt. He was singing the song for Kurt… but he was singing of their present and past relationship as well as reliving whatever did (or did not) happen with Eli. Regret and anguish was written all over that kid’s face. I wonder if he chose to speed up the lyrics toward the end of the song just so he could be done with it – stop singing the words that both meant everything and EVERYTHING to him. The song was meant to remind him of him and Kurt, but it brought up some feels about him and Eli. It was like he was singing to forget, but in turn ended up making it worse for himself. He was filled with guilt and when his voice cracked, by heart broke some more. I wanted to hug him, but at the same time, I was frustrated because the audience knows he did something with someone who wasn’t Kurt, but Kurt didn’t know that… yet.

Then came the park sequence. (When we saw this being filmed back in August, we couldn’t hear the dialogue, only saw body language and a lot of tears. So watching the show tonight, everything made sense. I read somewhere that Darren didn’t get as much time as he hoped to prepare the scene, which is horrible because while he did well with the material, one can only imagine how much more out of the park he would have knocked those emotions.)

As Klaine walked, Kurt asked Blaine why he was acting the way he was. Kurt asked him to not pretend like nothing was going on. And then Blaine admitted that he was with someone. Kurt wanted to know who with (he immediately assumed Sebastian) and Blaine said that didn’t matter because it was just hookup that didn’t mean anything. Blaine almost blamed Kurt for the indiscretion because Kurt wasn’t there… Blaine was by himself and he needed Kurt and Kurt wasn’t there and he was lonely. He apologized, but Kurt wouldn’t hear it. Kurt became upset (and rightly so) and then told Blaine that he had been tempted too, but he didn’t do anything about it. Blaine apologized again and then the song started… “Don’t Speak.”

(Note – they cut the Klaine conversation weirdly. On set, we heard Kurt yelling “Stop it, just stop it!” but that didn’t make it into the scene. Their dialogue seemed choppy in spots and I was pissed that they cut away to Finchel immediately after Blaine said “I was with someone.” Ugh.)

Before I go on about the Klaine half of “Don’t Speak,” let’s address something. Blaine’s choice of words in this scene with regard to his cheating is very vague. He said he was “with someone” and that it was a “hookup.” Last season, Blaine accused Kurt of cheating when Kurt was flirtatiously texting with Chandler. So… does Blaine’s “with someone” and “hookup” constitute as a kiss? Heavy makeout session? Any sort of –job? Sex? I think there was at the VERY LEAST a kiss involved. (I pray to Grilled Cheesus that is the extent of his cheating.) Blaine must have physically done something with this Eli person if he used the word “hookup,” but that doesn’t mean he necessarily had sex with him. Right? There is no one definition of “hookup.” Though we’ve seen an allegedly legit script from 4×7 and a picture of a very distressed/rumpled Darren/Blaine c/o Ryan Murphy’s Twitter/Instagram, we are in the dark about what actually happened. I hope the writers give us closure with this and don’t just gloss over what happened to cause Klaine to separate. That would be irresponsible storytelling.

So, “Don’t Speak.” Kurt looks pretty numb throughout the song whereas Blaine is literally gripping his chest/pajamas and looks so upset that he’s probably sick about the whole thing. Sadly, the editing of this sequence cheapened the drama of it all.

The next morning, Kurt and Finn talk. Kurt is upset about what happened, obviously, and tells his stepbrother that he feels like dying.

HOWEVER

Later in the episode, Blaine talks to Finn in the choir room. Finn asks why Blaine would do that to Kurt and Blaine says he doesn’t know and has no excuse. But he says the Kurt won’t talk to him, so he doesn’t even know if they are broken up. Though it sounded like Kurt wanted to talk earlier, he certainly doesn’t want to now. Later, Blaine sends flowers to Kurt (Yellow and Red ones, just like the ones Kurt gave Blaine last year before the WSS cast list went up… my creys) and writes an apology note (complete w/a drawing of Blaine in the doghouse). Kurt throws the note away (though he does so after admitting that Blaine is “the cutest”).

So when Klaine sang side by side during “The Scientist” with the other couples, my heart hurt some more.

I hope Blaine and Kurt actually talk it out in an upcoming episode. For a couple whose friendship was rooted in complete honesty, they certainly are horrible at communicating. They’ve had misunderstandings before, but this is by far the worst one. But, as much as this plot line hurt (and seemed very out of character for Blaine), I hope the writers take advantage of addressing how hard it is for people who love each other to actually talk out their feelings.

Feelings suck. While love might come easy, it’s certainly difficult to talk about at times. And then there is miscommunication – you think someone is thinking something, but they think something else. Or something about the other person is bothering you, but they are oblivious to it so they keep doing it, even though it bothers you, and then you just get upset and then they get upset. It’s hard to talk things out, but it’s the only way to handle stuff. I hope Kurt and Blaine talk it out. I hope Blaine’s “cheating” was only a kiss or making out with Eli. I hope they realize Blaine wasn’t clear about his feelings, nor his wording of the situation. I hope Kurt realizes how hard it must be for Blaine to be at McKinley by himself (though… yeah.).

I expected Klaine to hit a riff at some point, I just hate that it was Blaine cheating on Kurt. Hopefully they are blowing things out of proportion.

Blaine is a trainwreck. He was introduced to us as this confident guy in a prep school uniform two seasons ago. Since then, his façade has cracked. We learned of his past bullying experience. We learned he has dad issues. We learned he is a bit clueless when it comes to romance, having never been someone’s boyfriend. We learned he was a virgin. We learned he grew up being belittled by his older brother. We learned he was brave enough to tell his boyfriend to leave. We learned he was a people pleaser and that backfired when his boyfriend did leave and he was left alone at a school he only started going to because his boyfriend went there too. Blaine is a confident performer, but he’s insecure and a bit of a wreck when he’s by himself out of the spotlight. Blaine has to learn to stand on his own two feet, and hopefully he can accomplish that during his split with Kurt. You can’t use the other person in a relationship as a crutch… I mean, you can lean on them, but you shouldn’t rely on them so much that you can’t walk on your own. Blaine needs to learn how to walk. I want him to be running if/when he and Kurt get back together (which best be by the Christmas episode… I need another Klaine duet like I need air.)

And now we wait.

Back in NYC, Kurt and Rachel are eating on the floor in their somewhat furnished apartment. She tells him that she still gets picked on in class (maybe if you stopped wearing red and wore all black like everyone else and dropped the continually naive face you always sport…). Kurt tells her that style and clothes determine pecking order. He gets a great idea and we cut to commercial. Even people who haven’t seen Devil Wears Prada knew that Kurt was going to Devil Wears Prada her up. (Another insanely obvious “shocker” happens later in the episode. Glee writers needed work on less cliche/obvious ways to lead in/out of commercials and end the episode).

So, surprise surprise, Kurt and Rachel sneak into Vogue.com’s couture vault. Isabelle and security walk in, but she’s 100% fine with it as soon as Kurt says their doing it for Rachel’s makeover. Cue the completely unbelievable/unrealistic montage of Rachel trying on the fanciest dresses ever as they all sing and dance to a mashup of “The Way You Look Tonight” and “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.” (note – SJP was in Annieon Broadway way back in the day. She’s also from Ohio… Not Columbus, though, but this town called Nelsonville. I actually lived there when I was in grad school. #truestory) So, there was lots of twirling and fancy shoes. There is no way in HELL Rachel would be able to walk, let alone run and dance, in those shoes.

Blaine and Kurt have another Skype date, which is very telling of their opposite lifestyles. Blaine is in his room, sitting on his floor, while Kurt is mostly walking around getting something from the fridge. Kurt goes on and on about the clothes and making a video to submit for Isabelle/vogue.com. Blaine chimes in about his election and Kurt asks him a question about it. Blaine then starts to ask about which bow tie he should wear (narrowed down to a choice of 5), but Kurt cuts him off. Blaine makes a nonchalant remark about how Kurt is hanging with fashion icons and he’s there running for student president. He is less than enthusiastic and his facial expressions betray the casual persona he’s trying to pull off. The boy is sad, his boyfriend doesn’t see it, and Blaine internalizes it all. (I will expand on this later in an upcoming diatribe about Blaine Anderson – to be posted sometime this weekend, I’m sure).

Back in Ohio, Will goes to Emma for some guidance. He tells her about the opportunity to be on the Blue Ribbon panel. It would mean he would have to leave McKinley for a few months (FINE BY ME). She tells him to go for it bc he always tells the kids to follow their dreams. She also tells him their wedding can wait. (FORESHADOWING? Yes… But who cares? It’s just Wemma.)

Before the debate, Sam tells Blaine to lose the tie because he looks like a young Orville Redenbacher. He sheds tie and finds that Sam was right.

As Sue introduces the debate, we get a glimpse of some people in the audience – Sugar(!), Marley (a sophomore.. Who probably doesn’t need to be there), and Stoner Brett (whose line “Separation of Power!” was greatly appreciated… That kid has the best line every week.).

The debate starts with the Pimp (Sam) and the Gimp (Artie). Artie actually has a lot of good things to say about why he cares about student government. Sam gets asked if he was a stripper… He says he’s not ashamed and then takes off his shirt. Blaine stands in the wings and shakes his head. Me too, Blainers. Me too.

When it’s finally Blaine and Brit’s turns to speak, Blaine (with his notecards – aw!!) speaks about change. The he goes off book and speaks of how Brit did nothing in her last election except ban hair gel. He said it was disgusting for people to tell others what they can or cannot put in their hair. (You know what is disgusting, the amount of hair gel they put in Blaine’s hair this season… Bring back Blaine’s S2 hair, geez.) Blaine then said that if Bittany was voted in again, they would start burning books and then burning people. Blaine offers change. Blaine for President, yo!

Brit’s speech is how she loves the school and people at school. Se loves them so much, she would ban vacations and weekends so they would be in school all the time. The audience is silent and Artie mutters “We just lost the election.”

Um, yeah…

Back in NYC, Isabelle tells Kurt (who is wearing that tail we’ve seen in previous episodes) that she forwarded his video to Anna (Wintour) and she responded “Great—-Anna,” which is apparently the greatest email of all time. They are going to completely reshoot Kurt’s video, but he still gets credit for the idea. She tells him that she hopes Kurt never loses his wide-eyed optimism and he calls her his Fairy God Mother. She then drops a truth bomb on him that I have been waiting for forever… She tells him that he has an aptitude for fashion. She knows he has performance dreams at NYADA, but he should think about fashion and she tells him he will also be joining in on her upcoming meeting. Kurt’s eyes flickered with possibility when she told him he should do fashion. It’s Iike he didn’t think that was a real possibility for him… Oh, and like taking the same career path as Rache Berry was going to work out? Go with fashion, Kurt!

Newly made-over Rachel is on the barre at dance in her all black (finally!) ensemble, either sweater hanging off her shoulders. It was like Flashdance, but with way better hair and way more dramatic makeup. Brody strolls in and ogles at her makeover. Rachel said she changed her outside so maybe her inside will follow, whereas Brody says that now the outside caught up to her inside (he obviously hasn’t known her for that long… She’s still not 100% flawless on the inside like she is on the outside – Holla!). But, he tells her he likes her and she invites him to dance with her. They duet (do it… J/k, they only grind a bit and bump clothed crotches at one point) to “A Change Will Do You Good.” Their dancing is juxtaposed with the two of them taking flirty pictures on the High Line and running down uncharacteristically empty streets. (Finn who?) When their number comes to a close, Brody exclaims, “That was amazing.” (obviously he’s as sheltered as Rachel if he thought that was hot b/c it really wasn’t) She then gets heart eyes (well, crush eyes… Only Blaine can make proper heart eyes on this show) and asks him over for dinner on Saturday. She wants to cook for him. (My, how domestic. Let’s doll Rachel up and put her in a kitchen… You don’t even know how big of a sexist tangent I could make right now…)

Back in Lima, Sue goes to announce who the new president is and the show cuts to commercial like they are American Idol or a show where cutting to commercial is meant to be dramatic. We come back 2+ minutes later after several words from their sponsors, to find that Blam has won the presidency/vice presidency. (I totally support all things Blam.) Blane, not wearing a tie again (I would also continue to support this), is approached by Artie. Artie asks if Blaine talked to Kurt. He says yes and launches into ow Kurt is proud, etc. He was obviously lying. If you didnT know Blaine was lying, then you must not have eyes or ears. That kid was sad.

After Artie rolls away, Blaine pulls out his phone and calls Kurt. Kurt notices the call, but it at a gathering with Isabelle. After a few moments, he declines the call. (this hurts, like a lot – especially because in the deleted box scene, Blaine vowed to always pick up the phone whenever Kurt called… This promise, sadly, was not reciprocated.)

Blaine gets upset. He voices to Sam that he came to McKinley last year for Kurt, but now that he’s gone, Blane feels alone. Blaine confesses that he did everything for Kurt – even the election. (Kurt ran last year to make change but lost. Blaine won and feels its all for naught.) Blaine feels that one of what he did matters. (YOU MATTER, BLAINE!) The Klaine piano music scores the scene as Sam tries to convince Blaine that what he did matters. He points out that Blaine is the first gay president. He points out that before Blaine, he never had a gay Bro before. He says they can be like Wolverine and Cyclops. I think what Sam is getting at is that Blaine might be lonely without Kurt, but he’s not alone. (I really want more Blam …. Both boys need a friend where they can let their geeky freak flags fly.)  As Blaine leaves the table, boy boths say that they are Wolverine in their Wolverine/Cyclops friendship. (awwwww)

Brit and Sam talk. He confesses he voted for her. She tells him that he always knows the right thing to say. I like the Brit/Sam friendship. I just want to (friend)ship Sam with everyone this season. But, I worry that there is going to be some weird/awkward Brit/Sam more-then-friendship-shipping this season with the way he keeps looking at her.

Will (ugh) goes to Sue’s office and says he will turn in the application for the panel job. He asks her for a recommendation and she already wrote him one.

Back in NYC, Rachel flips open a cookbook and promptly burns whatever dish she was making (we find out later it was duck… But isn’t she a vegan? Come on!). She throws wine on the fire and it goes out… That didn’t make any sense. Nothing about Kurt and Rachel’s living/eating situation makes any sense.

Brody knocks on the door, armed iwth more flowers (ugh, I want a Brody). They end up ordering pizza and drinking (seriously – where do underage Kurt and Rachel keep getting bottled water and wine… That shit is expensive. And they are, Iike, 18 or 19.). They exchange lame secrets (he liked Ace of Base, she fixed grammatical errors on an 8 yr old’s love letter to her) and then make out on the floor while “Moon River” played in the background. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. She tells Brody it’s probably Kurt forgetting his keys, but the whole world can guess that it’s Finn.

And it is. And he sees Brody on the floor. Finchel exchanges a look and then the episode ended.

And then the promo…

God, the promo.

Next week is “The Break Up”. They showed 4 couples in turmoil… Wemma (Will gets the job and apparently wants Emma to drop everything and go with him), Jarley (they aren’t even dating, but Marley tells Jake she doesn’t like Kitty), Finchel (Finn sings “The Scientist” and Rachel yells at him about not being able to do this anymore…. Well, he hasn’t contacted her in months, so…) and then Klaine.

My boys. My ship.

Blaine is with Kurt and they are talking… It’s implied Blaine says something, but not the whole something , as Kurt responds with “Please stop pretending that there’s nothing wrong.” and Blaine says, “I’m so sorry” and then Kurt runs off sobbing.

I was there when they shot this sequence, but not close enough to hear dialogue. I saw the tears, though. And not just tears, but sobs and feels.

I not-so-secretly want the Klaine stuff in this episode to break me. I want them to break up (if even just for part of this episode)… They need to talk about what’s wrong and we’ve seen them not be able to do so in the past (DWS). I’m all for them breaking up and then talking it out and getting back together. They need to communicate better. They’ve addressed that before… but before it was Kurt withholding information. This time I would argue that it’s Blaine. Kurt is so preoccupied with his NYC living that Blaine feels left out. But, it appears Blaine won’t/can’t tell that to Kurt. So… I’m thinking Blaine breaks up with Kurt. We’ll see!!!

All I know is “Don’t speak” and Blaine’s acoustic version of “Teenage Dream” are likely going to be epic. And full of feels.

I love feels. (KLAINGST)

I can only hope that 4×2 – Britney 2.0 was one of those crappy episodes that they whipped together and smacked in between two better episodes. Like, the season premiere was pretty good… here’s hoping next week’s episode is good too b/c Britney 2.0 was on the wrong side of Meh.

SPOILERS under the cut

(btw – sorry I change tenses a lot during this… I’m tired and there was a lot to complain about, okay?)

The show opened with Brittany doing a voice over… or what she thought was a voice over. She was staring forward and talking to herself. Blaine even asked, “Who are you talking to?” And she responded that she thought she was doing a voice over. Oy.

Brittany quoted the infamous, “It’s Britney, bitch.” (Or in her case, I guess it was “It’s Brittany, bitch.”). HeMo then launched into an energetic Cheerio-inspired version of “Hold it Against Me.” This was one of the better executed numbers of the night. The Cheerio routine was precise (and chock-full of suggestive hip/pelvic moves). This showed some Kitty vs. Brittany rivalry, which everyone knew was going to happen.

After the routine, Brittany was called into Sue’s office and Sue kicked her off the Cheerios for having bad grades (for example, she got an F- on her Algebra test… how is this girl still in school, let alone in high school?). Sue’s tough love was completely warranted, to which Brittany said, “Tough love feels a lot like mean.” Guess what, Brit? SUCK IT UP.

After the “glee” title card (it’s sad when that’s one of the best few seconds of the show – oh snap), Brittany is in her room Skyping with Santana. Brittany asks if they can scissor-Skype. (Note, this is the second time in the past 2 episodes that scissoring is mentioned, and the 3^rd time on the show… yet Klaine NEVER talks about the physical part of their relationship… in fact, later in the episode, Brittany says she has lady sex with Santana. But Klaine? Nope… no dialogue confirming their physical relationship. This is a horrible double standard and it’s getting super old super fast. #endrant) But, there is no time and they stop Skyping. Also, Lord Tubbington is there on the bed in a leather coat.

(See how unenthusiastic this episode has made me – yikes stripes, yo.)

Meanwhile, at NYADA, Cassandra July (who I am going to refer to as CJ from now on) is teaching her dance class how to tango (i.e. sexy dance). She tells Rachel to practice her jazz hands in the corner b/c Rachel lacks sex appeal and they are one guy short. Rachel is wearing a pink shrug over her black leotard. Girl needs to stop with the pink already.

Back at McKinley, Wemma is concerned about Brittany. Mr. Schue wants Brit to meant with Emma, but Brit declines and then walks herself out of the office doing another audible “voice over.”

Then Mr. Schue has a great idea (well, he thinks it is, anyway) and announces that the glee club has to perform at the back to school pep rally, so the theme is Britney 2.0 to hopefully inspire Brittany. (This parallels S2E1 when they are to perform at the pep rally… though during that episode, Mr. Schue wanted them to sing Adult Contemporary stuff like Christopher Cross… which would have been AWESOME. Like Mr. Schue, “Sailing” is my jam. But I digress…). In order to get the kids inspired, he had Artie and Blaine prepare a number. They sing a mashup of “Boys/Boyfriend” (which is Britney and Bieber… ew) and it is my favorite 2 minutes of the episode, by far. Blaine and Artie should duet all the time… with their sweaters/sweater vests and adorable dorkiness. I really liked how a lot of Blaine’s “dancing” incorporated a chair so that he was on the same level as Artie for a lot of the song. It was kind of boy bandy, but not to the extent I hoped it would be. (I still giggled uncontrollably, so…)

Back in Brooklyn, Kurt and Rachel are riding bikes around their new place… a ginormous flat in Buskwick for $1800/month. They eat pizza (as Rachel muses how NY Dominos is better than Lima Dominos) and talk. Kurt tells her that Blaine said the glee club is doing Britney music (you know, as excited as Kurt was for Britney music – he was the one to suggest it last year – he NEVER had a Britney solo… #justsayin). He also tells her that he’s okay with not getting ito NYADA right away. He plans to audition for the second semester, but for the time being, he applied to work at Vogue.com. (Oh Kurt, I know you’ll get this job next week, but it’s super frustrating when you only apply to one school or one job. You need backup plans, buddy. Also, what pisses me off… I’ve been in NYC for 6 weeks now and still haven’t landed the job of my dreams, let alone a steady job, so I frown upon Glee writers for their unrealistic story lines, of which there were MANY this episode.)

Rachel complains to him about class and he is surprised she hadn’t heard about CJ’s Broadway backstory. She was in a revival of Damn Yankees and went berserk on an audience member whose phone went off during the performance. Kurt also tells Rachel that if CJ wants sexy then to give her sexy (he suggests not wearing a bra to class… oh, Kurt).

Back at McKinley, Marley sees Jake talking to Tina. It’s beyond obvious that she likes Jake (thank you for shoving that ship down our throats, Glee producers). When Marley confesses this to Unique, Unique tells her that Jake is a womanizer. And then guess what? THEY SING “WOMANIZER”. And it’s lame. They follow Jake around the school as he flirts/interacts with girl after girl after girl until Marley finally gets it. But guess what? Sweet little Marley still likes him. They are kindred spirits in a way. So when Jake asks her to hang out sometime, she agrees without even batting an eyelash.

Then in New York, it’s one of the scenes that I was on set for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brody is doing sit ups/crunches on a park bench and Rachel approaches him and asks him for a favor – to dance with her. He tells her that upper classmen aren’t supposed to, but he agrees to do it anyway (b/c he likes her, duh).

(So, yeah, I got to watch this scene get shot. It took a couple hours b/c they shot it from a bunch of angles, but it was really fun to watch. We thought it was for a later episode, so it was a surprise for me to see it last night. I might have screamed at my TV. The guy that plays Brody is super attractive – obviously – but he’s even more attractive in person. Arm muscles… just, arm muscles.)

Back in the choir room, Sam, Tina and Joe sing an acoustic version of “3.” Buh-what the hell? For me, this was weird. They know they’re singing about threeways, right?

Brittany was equally unimpressed because she got up during the song and walked away. Blaine looked for a moment like he was going to stop her, but he didn’t. (He always seems conflicted… I addressed this last week. That boy needs to act on his instincts more.) Brittany plugs and electric razor into the wall and goes to shave her head but is stopped by Mr. Schue. Then she attacks Jacob Ben Israel in the hall with an umbrella. (Get it… Britney … as if it wasn’t being hammered over your head enough.) Blaine, Tina and Artie watch all this go down in the hallway and Blaine asks if they should do something. They collectively decided to give Brittany the spotlight on the song for the pep assembly.

Also in the hallway is Jake… on a scooter. Mr. Schue stops him and Jake gets all sassy. (This is already getting old too, and it’s only the second episode.) Schue feels bad for not putting Jake into the glee club, but Jake won’t hear him out and he scooters away.

Jake then meets up with Marley on the bleachers. (Very Puckleberry S1E7 or 8, I forget…) Marley calls him out on his projected bad boy image. She tries to convince him to join the glee club because it’s the one place where she can just “be.” They sing a mashup of “(You Drive Me) Crazy/Crazy.” Their voices compliment each other and it’s sweet. I thought it was bold of the writers to have 2 new characters duet, alone on screen without any returning characters. That’s a lot of screen time for people we don’t really know yet. However, since they are trying to force Jarley on us, I knew this was coming sooner or later. I took this scene as redemption for unfulfilled Puckleberry (just like I consider The New Normal as my Klaine substitute as of late… at least those guys get to kiss and talk about serious stuff in their relationship. Epic le sigh.).

In the glee room, Brittany is sitting with her 70oz coffee cup while the rest of the glee kids are standing at the piano trying to convince her to perform lead at the pep rally. She talks into her phone a lot (“Kiki” – her version of “Siri”). She agrees to do the pep rally, but only if she can lip synch. Blaine shakes his head and says that they don’t do that, but she won’t perform unless she can. (I’m pretty sure I was groaning at my television by this point…)

In NYC, Brody walks into dance class w/Rachel and CJ is not pleased. (From the way she talks to him/eyes him, you KNOW they have a past. I bet that is going to break Rachel at some point… right?) Rachel, finally dressed all in black (except for her red whore lips) says she has a dance routine to show CJ and then launches into an uncomfortable version of one of my favorite Britney songs, “Oops I Did It Again.” Rachel’s “sexy” dance had a lot of close ups of boobs, crotches, people dry humping tables and whatnot. I thought it was more desperate than sexy… when people try to force themselves to be sexy, it just doesn’t work sometimes. (Like, remember Kurt during “Animal”?) I’m disappointed if this is the kind of cheap visuals we’re going to get now that Glee is in a later time slot. I was hoping for progressive story lines and better content… not Rachel pretending to be skanky.

CJ is not super impressed. (See, I’m not the only one.) She tells Brody that he was incredible and Rachel that she was okay. Rachel snaps and says CJ is jealous because she’s a youtube joke . CJ gets pissed and kicks Rachel out.

The McKinley lunchroom is still not safe as jocks continue to make fun of Marley’s mom. Marley tells them to stop but they don’t. So then Jake tells them to stop… and then gets in a fight. (Oh, those Puckerman boys and the fights they cause…) So, Mr. Schue grabs Jake and brings him to the choir room… and there’s Puck!

(I did a happy scream at my television. I miss Puck so much.)

Puck gives his little half-brother a speech about how glee club made him more of a man than getting into fights and breaking the law.

While I was THRILLED to see Puck, this scene bothered me for 2 reasons.

1.     I SWEAR the piano music scoring this scene is the same (or at least) similar music they use for Klaine scenes. I love Puck and Puck loves Klaine, but I’m disappointed they would use that same music for this completely non-Klaine scene.

2.     There is NO WAY Puck would have come in from LA just for this 30 second chat with his brother. (This was the other story line that I found the most ridiculous during this episode.)

Ugh. (more groaning at my television)

In the gym, Figgins announces the glee club at the pep assembly. Before the kids go on, Brittany is not dressed and eating a bag of Cheetos.

The actual performance is a mess (though it’s supposed to be). The kids, dressed all in black (they are in t shirts and pants, while Brittany is in a bra and panties like Britney was at the VMAs – I think – that one year…). Brittany doesn’t know the choreography and she’s still eating throughout the performance. The other kids (I was mostly watching Blaine, to be honest) were not pleased. They get through part of “Gimme More” when Kitty points out that they are lip synching. My FAVORITE line of the night was when Stoner Brett stood up and yelled “J’ACCUSE!” Four for you, Stoner Brett.

In the choir room, Schue is beyond pissed that they lip synched the performance because they could get kicked out of the running for competitions. (Oh, darn.)

Back at dance class at NYADA, Rachel (in a red sweater… seriously, I know the costume person does this on purpose, but even this is getting way old too) confronts CJ. CJ passes on some tough love and tells Rachel like it is – CJ doesn’t believe in second chances, but she has to allow Rachel back to class because it’s the school’s policy. So, Rachel gets a warning and is punished by having to wash stuff.

Then, in the sweetest moment of the night, Sam meets up with Brittany in the auditorium and they talk about how she was hitting rock bottom on purpose because she misses Santana. Sam understands and says that he’s her friend. I might have to like Sam this season… (especially after the promo for next week…, but we’ll get to that later).

Brittany walks into Sue’s office and demands she be reinstated into the Cheerios because she’s still senior class president because she didn’t graduate yet. Sue tells her that she’ll put her back on the team so long as she graduates at the end of the year. So, Wemma tutors her and she’s back on the squad.

Back in Brooklyn, Kurt and Rachel are painting their apartment. They don’t have furniture or food, but they have paint for the apartment? COME ON, SHOW, STOP BEING SO STUPID. Rachel painted a big heart on the wall that says “Finn” inside of it (even though she hasn’t heard from him in months). Kurt says the cure for loneliness is cake, so he suggests they go out. As he’s about to leave, Brody is at the door. Kurt leaves them alone and Brody says he took the J train 45 minutes to get to her place. He brings her an orchid (and calls them a sexy plant). He liked dancing with Rachel and tells her she’s sexy. He goes to kiss her, but she stops him. He says he’ll respect her boundaries, but he’ll be thinking about kissing her every time he’s with her. (I would rather ship Brochel than Finchel at this point, so, forget about Finn, Rachel and hop on that Brody Train…).

From one potential ‘shipwreck to another, Jake approaches Marley in the hallway and asks if he can sit by her in glee club. You can tell she gets some butterflies, but then that skank Kitty ruins the moment when she announces that she and Jake are dating. (I literally wrote “F*ck You Kitty” in my notes.) I felt bad for Marley, but know that the writer’s gotta build up that angst so when they kiss in a few episodes (when is fall sweeps?) it’ll be worth the wait.

Jake joins New Directions and is weirded out by everyone in the room (I laughed at the Brad closeup!) Marley asks if she could sing one last Britney song. She sings “Everytime” and we get a montage of her being sad about Jake, Brittany being sad about her and Santana, and Rachel painting over her Finn/heart. The episode ends with a close up of the orchid. BROCHEL IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG (even though we know Finn will be back in Episode 4…).

The promo indicated that Sarah Jessica Parker will be starting next week (her character is from Columbus, so the Ohio tie must be what gets Kurt that dream job…). SJP is from Ohio, btw… I actually lived in the town where she grew up (well after she was already gone, but still). Also, Brittany and Artie challenge Blaine and Sam to a debate. Sam is then shown shirtless and going on about America.

We know Blaine is running for Senior Class President and will be singing “Everybody Wants to Rule the World.” None of that was shown in the promo. Also, Ryan Murphy tweeted that Klaine will be Skyping. I’ll believe THAT when I see it.

I have to miss the episode next week (going to a show…), so my recap will probably be on Saturday.

Until then, have a good one.

(Prayer Circle that Glee gets better…)