November 2012


Happy Thanksgiving… a week late. (Was anyone else a bit confused as to why Glee aired its Thanksgiving episode the week after Thanksgiving when it actually aired an episode on Thanksgiving the week before? Curiouser and curiouser.)

SPOILERS if you haven’t seen the episode.

So, the three major plot points this episode were:

1. The graduating class of 2012 was back in town for the holiday (sans Kurt and Rachel)
2. Kurt and Rachel were spending Thanksgiving in NYC
3. It was Sectionals time for the New Directions (and Warblers)

Though these plots do intersect at times, I will cover them in sections to keep some uniformity to this week’s post.

1. The graduating class of 2012 was back in town for the holidays (sans Kurt and Rachel)

SO, the show opened with Quinn (of all people) standing alone on McKinley’s auditorium stage, singing a slowed down version of “Homeward Bound” (which is one of my favorite songs of all time… Simon & Garfunkel are my jam forever and always). She was joined soon thereafter by Puck (w/guitar). Mike Chang and Santana walked in from one side of the auditorium, mashing in Phillip Phillip’s “Home” (a current jam of mine). Mercedes walked in from the back of the auditorium and Finn came in from the wings. The mashup sounded more like a dirge than the wistful concoction it could have been. That being said, I kind of dug it. It was sad, but hauntingly beautiful at the same time. It was as if they were going through the motions of being home. They were never all supper buddy-buddy, nor were they all completely fond of Lima, so it was weird for them to be acting as such. (I, on the other hand, was glad to see Puck and Mike.)

After a friendly group hug (initiated by Puck), they went to dinner at Breadstix to reminisce. They were quick to point out that not everyone kept their promise of being back in Lima for the holiday – i.e. Kurt and Rachel were missing. Mike said that Blaine said that Kurt wouldn’t answer his texts/calls. (What I got from this exchange is that Bike Chanderson is canon.) Quinn spoke up that she was in contact with Rachel, but mostly because Rachel keeps asking her to use the train ticket she gave her. Rachel and Kurt decided to spend Thanksgiving in NYC (which I will expand upon in their section of this post), so that’s why they weren’t at this little reunion.

The graduated McKinley kids were paired up with the new kids as mentors to guide them through their first Sectionals. Puck was paired with Jake (obviously), Quinn was paired with Kitty (obviously), Mercedes was paired with Wade/Unique (obviously), Mike was paired with Ryder (not quite obviously, but since Ryder was to have the male lead, dance-wise, in the group number, Mike was the perfect mentor in this situation), and Santana was paired with Marley (not an expected pairing, but it almost turned out for the best).

While the graduated guys were teaching the new and returning guys (sans Wade who was chilling with the girls and Blaine who was mysteriously absent during rehearsal that day) how to do some dance steps, the Unholy Trinity (Quinn, Santana and Brittany) gave the girls and Wade a little performance. Their rendition of “Come See About Me” was reminiscent of their “Say a Little Prayer” number from “Showmance” (S1 E2) and “Keep Me Hanging On” (S1 E7?). Though Quinn is not a strong lead vocalist, it was nice to see the original McKinley Mean Girls back in action. Though, I wanted to throw up in my mouth a little bit every time they cut to Kitty. Kitty obviously had a lady boner for Quinn… which makes sense b/c Kitty is Quinn 2.0. (Ew. Kitty also has a “WWQFD?” shrine in her locker. Double Ew.) The number was cute and the choreo was simple but effective.

The only other “big” scene that dealt with any of the kids who graduated was a bit between Quinn and Santana. Quinn kept name dropping all these Yale people, and then said how Santana was jealous of her because Quinn is dating her 35-year old, married (though supposedly soon to be divorced) professor while Santana is cheerleading in Kentucky and afraid to be who she wants to be. (Remember last season when Santana mentioned she wanted to be in NYC? I’m still hoping that happens for her.) Why would Santana be jealous of Quinn, though? Quinn seems just as unstable as she was at the beginning of Season 3. There’s no need for anyone to be jealous of that. Both girls did slap each other across the face. I just shrugged my shoulders.

2. Kurt and Rachel were spending Thanksgiving in NYC

Kurt and Rachel opted to stay on the East Coast during the holidays to avoid people and problems. Kurt wanted to forget about Blaine (even though he said he missed his own dad… dude, Kurt… you should go visit your dad and Carole) and Rachel wanted to forget about Finn and Brody (even though Brody lives in NYC and TAs her Dance 101 class). So, instead of being thankful and spending time with their dads, the two opted to stay in NYC and have the best Thanksgiving ever on their own. (They kept calling their Thanksgiving, “Orphan Thanksgiving”… I’m not an orphan, but my dad is now and I found this offensive. They have parents. They aren’t orphans. That’s my opinion.)

(Side note – I found Rachel’s “Look at our life. Look at this city.” speech effective. I’ve been living in NYC for about four months now and often find myself looking around at the buildings I’ve been familiar with via movies and tv shows my whole life… but they aren’t abstract things anymore. They are my everyday surroundings. It’s bizarre. So, I get that. End side note.)

Rachel apparently has Dance 101 before her Thanksgiving break starts. Cassandra July is not there (i.e. hungover), so Brody is filling in. Rachel (in her red outfit – seriously, must she always wear red?) confronts him about sleeping with CJ as they dance a foxtrot together. He tells her that she’s the one who made herself unavailable to him and that she has no say in who he sleeps with. He does say, though, that it won’t happen again. Brody then inquires about her Thanksgiving plans (he’s not going home either). She tells him about her and Kurt’s solo Thanksgiving, so he offers to come over and cook for them because he knows she’s a bad cook.

Later on at Vogue.com, Kurt’s shutting down for the night and accidentally turns the lights off on Isabelle. (I’ve done this before at work – whoops.) She’s prepping an article about movies which prompts him to ask her if she’s more excited for The Hobbit or Les Mis. They both seem excited for both (though honestly, don’t you think these characters would be more pumped for Les Mis?) and suggest a double feature. Kurt asks her about her Thanksgiving plans and Isabelle tells a sad story about how she used to go to Gore Vidal’s… but since his passing, she was going to do Thanksgiving on her own. So Kurt, being the kind kis he is, invites her to his and Rachel’s Bushwick Thanksgiving.

Then, Isabelle gets a gold star (from me) for asking Kurt about his ex. Kurt gets super defensive and says he’s closing the book on Blaine and it’s over. He tells her he keeps texting and calling, but that Kurt sent him a text saying to stop calling and saying you’re sorry. My heart hurt when Kurt said, “Sorry cheater, this pedal needs to move on.” You could tell Kurt was just kind of saying this because he was trying to get over it, but that he probably didn’t 100% mean it. Isabelle could tell this and she told Kurt that he needed to accept an apology. (Not necessarily forgive Blaine, but just accept the fact that Blaine is sorry for what he did.) And then the Klaine music played in the background and I shouted at my television because my heart was starting to feel.

Later on, Kurt and Brody are cooking in Kurt and Rachel’s kitchen. Brody is defending his choice to cook the turkey in a bag while Kurt looks offended. I was on Team Kurt when he commented how the situation was like their own Big Chill (I LOOOOOOOVE THAT MOVIE), but then Brody said “But no one breaks out in song.”

Boo, you (man) whore.

Then, Brody calls Rachel over and they start manhandling the turkey together, which is super gross and completely against Rachel’s veganism. BUT, since Rachel seems to let her own identity completely fall by the wayside when it comes to crushing on guys, I accept this for what it is; Rachel dropping her plan to forget about Brody and going 100% along with his handsy turkey moves. (Again, I’m on Team Kurt as he watched them in horror/with feelings of repulsion.)

A little later on, the turkey is finally ready and Rachel starts telling the boys about her Thanksgivings past when they are interrupted by a bunch of strangers. Turns out Isabelle invited a bunch of her friends to Kurt and Rachel’s soiree… and they all sing a most bizarre mashup of “Let’s Have a Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time.” Like Brody, I was beyond confused. To be honest, I’ve never heard the “Let’s Have a Kiki” song (though I am totes familiar with “Turkey Lurkey Time”… Promises, Promises, yo!). There was some cray cray choreography and it was all a bit odd. I did like the mashup in context to the show better than just listening to it on my iPod earlier this week.

And then, a few scenes later, my heart broke when Kurt went out on the balcony and called Blaine.

I knew the call was coming (thank you, spoilers), but had no idea of the content.

Kurt asks if New Directions has performed yet (they hadn’t). Blaine starts to talk/apologize, but Kurt cuts him off and says that he believes Blaine is sorry for what he did, but Kurt can’t forgive Blaine yet. However, it’s Thanksgiving and he misses Blaine like crazy and that Blaine is still his best friend. A very teary Blaine admits that Kurt is still his best friend too. (My heart, my heart.) Kurt then surprised Blaine (and me) by saying they needed to have a mature heart-to-heart at Christmas. He suggested they go ice skating and then get coffee at somewhere other than the Lima Bean (b/c when he worked there, he saw a mouse). Blaine was obviously shocked when he asked, “We’re really going to see each other at Christmas?” (Remember, during the deleted Box Scene when Blaine said that it was their first Christmas of many together? Looks like we still get a Klaine Christmas even though they aren’t quite Klaine again. Yet. Wooooooot.) Blaine then went out on a limb and said “Kurt, I love you so much.” And for a half a second, I thought Kurt might have already hung up. But he hadn’t. He tearfully said, “I love you too.”

And then my heart broke again.

While Klaine is still not Klaine yet, this was an epic leap toward reconciliation. Though Kurt still didn’t hear Blaine out, he extended a huge olive branch by saying he accepted Blaine’s apology and initiated seeing him at Christmas. This seemed like more than what Blaine was expecting to happen. I can’t wait to see Platonic Klaine at Christmas. (I mean, I know they skate/sing to “White Christmas,” but I am looking forward to everything in context.)

(Side note – how amazing were Chris and Darren in this scene?! I was whole-heartedly impressed with both boys performance. They were both so realistically vulnerable… (public) private moments like those could be extremely awkward in the hands of the wrong actors, but they brought it. It was so sad and beautiful that my heart legit hurt and I brought a hand to my mouth when Blaine’s face just crumbled. Because then my face almost crumbled. I didn’t cry, but I almost got emotional. This was such a beautiful scene. BEAUTIFUL.)

My face almost crumbled again when Kurt walked back into his apartment and was embraced in a caring hug from Isabelle as he cried. Isabelle must be distantly related to Puck because she is giving him a run for his money as the Captain of the Klaine ‘ship. I would actually give Isabelle a leg up, as she’s never even met Blaine and she ships Klaine.

3. It was Sectionals time for the New Directions (and Warblers)

Oh, Sectionals.

For Sectionals, Finn announces that Blaine and Marley will have a duet and the whole group will perform “Gangnam Style.” (Ugh.) When Finn asks which male would dance with Brittany, Sam offers his services. (Excuse me, “White Chocolate” offers his services. Oh, stripper Sam…)

After Glee rehearsal, Jake tells Ryder that he went out (well, hung out) with Marley. Jake even offers to end it with Marley if Ryder wants, but Ryder says no even though you can tell he probably wants him too (wow, these boys are so friggin’ polite). A little later, Jake gets jealous of Mike complimenting his dancing, but doesn’t say anything (even though we find out later that Jake studies dance… ballet… and actually dances better than Ryder… TOO POLITE!).

And then there’s Marley… oh, Marley. Girl still thinks she’s fat so she’s been starving herself and taking laxatives. Jakes asks her to hang with him at lunch, but she turns him down saying she has to rehearse because she doesn’t want to be the one to let the team down. (Even without knowing the end of the episode by this point, I could tell this was foreshadowing. Duh.)

Everyone is putting a lot of pressure on Marley to not screw up at Sectionals. Besides herself, Quinn is telling Jake to leave Marley alone so she doesn’t get distracted. (Stupid Kitty fed Quinn lies about Jake and Marley. Ugh.)

Jake and Ryder have another nice scene together when Jake walks in on Ryder unsuccessfully practicing his dance moves. Ryder is trying to learn the words to the “Gangnam Style” song so he can put the moves to the lyrics, but since he’s dyslexic/a slow learner, he’s not doing so well. Jake offers to help and Ryder says that Jake should just take the lead from him. But, Jake is upstanding and says he’s not going to take the dance part and Marley away from Ryder. They watch the “Gangnam Style” video on the Dalton computer from last episode that now is property of the New Directions.

Speaking of Dalton…

My Warblers performed two songs at Sectionals this year. Hunter led the group in “Whistle,” during which I giggled like a schoolgirl the entire time. It’s one thing that the song is wholly inappropriate for a group of high school boys to be singing during a glee club competition; it’s another to be #lustinforgustin (my friends are a HORRIBLE influence on me… but you know I love you, girls!). I don’t care that Hunter was lead on this song… my eyes were following Sebastian.

Thankfully, Sebastian had the lead on the second song; “Live While We’re Young.” I loved the choreo for this number… I felt like I was watching Newsies on Broadway or something. It was great to see Grant and Riker in their element. I also love when Glee does boyband songs. Granted it’s only happened a few times, but there is something fantastic about a group of guys singing pop music sung by other groups of guys. I really need Glee to cover “I Want it That Way,” “Tearin’ Up My Heart,” and “The Right Stuff” (I need this like I need air… complete with the dance. You know the dance I’m talking about…)

In between the Warblers and the New Directions, a group of Mennonites sang “Over the River and Through the Wood” and “She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain.” They got quite gospel on the second number and I was like “Aw, hells yeah.”

(Oh, I forgot… before these groups performed, Marley was in the bathroom. She looked really bad. She’s hungry and tired. She takes out a Tic Tac to eat, but leaves it on the counter. She walks out of the bathroom to find Wade dressed as Unique. She says she’s inspired by Unqiue’s courage… I wish Marley would find some courage of her own and realize that she should not be listening to Kitty’s lies. And then Finn gives everyone a pep talk in the choir room and asks Joe to lead them in a group prayer. Well, it is Thanksgiving, so it seems fitting. Plus, Kurt isn’t there this year to roll his eyes at organized religion.)

So, yeah… the New Directions go last. Marley is freaking out before they go on and Jake comments that she doesn’t look okay (uh, duh). She admits to not having slept in days and sweating even though it’s not hot. She is worried she is going to let the team down. Ryder overhears and pulls Jake aside and says Jake should take the dance lead because he doesn’t want the team to suffer.

The group dances to “Gangnam Style” and I am repulsed. What a stupid song. And how racist was it to have Tina sing the lead? Just because she’s Asian… come on, Glee! I love Tina’s voice and was thankful she finally got a solo… but really? THIS SONG?!

As predicted, Marley collapses on stage at the end of the song and the screen cuts to black.

I wouldn’t say this is a cliffhanger, per se. The promo shows Will telling the kids that leaving the stage mid-competition could result in disqualification.

I see one of two things happening:

1. The New Directions get disqualified and the Warblers win (because their songs were better anyway). (SPOILER FOR NEXT WEEK) Tina and Blaine then join the Cheerios for anextracurricular/in order to be on some sort of winning team their senior year.

2. The New Directions are granted an automatic bye to Regionals because they were Nationals champions the previous year. They advance to finals (hopefully with the Warblers) and the rivals live to sing against each other another day.

Either way, I’m content. I just want more Warblers. (And rumor has it, they are filming for Episode 11… so, wooooooot. Though, I think they are probably/hopefully filming Blaine flashback stuff since the episode deals with the Sadie Hawkins dance.)

On a whole, I was not super enthusiastic about this episode, but I love, love, LOVED the Klaine scene.

I’m really looking forward to the next two episodes. Kurt sings “Being Alive” next week and I will likely be an emotional wreck because I can’t listen to that song anymore without tearing up. (You try listening to that and not getting verklempt. I DARE YOU.) Then comes Christmas. I love Christmas.

Were you equally repulsed by “Gangnam Style?” (I think I’m the only person left on this planet who has never seen the original video for that song.) Did you get emotional during the Klaine scene?

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“Dynamic Duets”…

Coming at you almost a week after the episode aired. (Sorry for the delay… family time and real life totes got in the way of a timely glee-cap!)

(SPOILERS)

So… this episode dealt mainly with two distinct groups of people:

New people

And

Blaine

As my allegiance lies with the helmet-haired former Warbler and his new bestie Sam, I’ll get all the new people stuff out of the way first.

NEW PEOPLE!

So, Jake, Ryder, Marley and Kitty played prominent roles in this episode… and to that, I say, “Well played, RIB.” We’ve only known Jake, Marley and Kitty for seven episodes (and Ryder only two), yet somehow we know enough about them to warrant half an episode of their stories. And while Marley’s eating disorder, Kitty’s meanness, and Jake being on the receiving end of bullying (he’s half white, half black, half Jewish… and boy do those jocks constantly remind him of it), it’s Ryder’s story that pretty much ripped a hole in my Glee-tolerating heart.

Though it got a little after school specially, it was revealed that Ryder has dyslexia, which is why he doesn’t do great in school no matter how hard he studies. This revelation came after a tense scene in the locker room in which Jake and Ryder are forced into sharing personal secrets with each other (at Finn’s request). Jake hands Ryder a note with his secrets, but Ryder tells him to man up and just say it out loud. Jake confesses his secrets and then Ryder lets slide a bigger one: he made Jake say it out loud because he couldn’t read it.

Jake tells Finn about Ryder’s admission and Finn sets him up with a woman who tests him and his ability to recognize words, numbers and letters. Though Ryder is a bit upset that he was ratted out, he thanks Finn for the help. Ryder is scared his dad will think less of him, but he is determined to get help. Said help is scheduled for Saturday morning at 7 am, so Ryder cancels a Friday night date with Marley so that he can study.

Why does this matter?

Because Marley is pissed he reschedules (Kitty puts in her 2 cents that Ryder’s excuse was not a good one… because she is a horrible, horrible human being), she asks out Jake.

Yeah, Jake and Ryder were still fighting over Marley this whole episode. In fact, they don’t like each other much because of that (though by the end of the episode, they seem friendly… you know, like Puck and Finn were S1. Oy.). When told they have to wear super hero outfits and perform a duet together, they both dress up as “Mega Stud” and sing REM’s “I am Superman” right at Marley. Jake and Ryder end up punching each other a bit and tussling on the floor (Wanky), which is how they end up having to tell each other personal secrets. (Yeah, I wrote this in an entirely round about way… sorry.)

So, by episode’s end, the boys are friendlier toward each other. Marley and Kitty, on the other hand, are complete frenemies. Kitty is still feeding lies to Marley that she needs to make herself vomit to keep her body in check. (Ugh, Kitty, why can’t you leave Marley and her perfectly normal – actually, way too skinny already – body alone?) And Marley, whose normal people clothes fit just fine and who looks rockin’ in her WF superheroine outfit… oh, that girl. The one nice thing Kitty does (as they are forced to perform a duet together as well) is tell Marley that she looks good in her spandex outfit, and changes her name from “Wall Flower” to “Woman Fierce.” And then Kitty gets all cray cray with a whip and black, skintight kitty outfit as “Femme Fatale” (which she translates as “Woman Killer”). Their duet of “I Need a Hero” is my least favorite number of the episode. I like this song, but the whip and the slinking around the choir room was a bit much for me.

So, yeah… new people. They also dominated the show’s final number of “Some Nights.” I will discuss this performance at length in the Blaine portion of the post.

BLAINE!

Oh, my Blainers. Poor kid was having all sorts of identity crises this episode.

The show opened on Blaine decked out in a superhero outfit and leading a meeting of some superhero society (Tina, Joe and Sugar are in attendance, and other members of the glee club join soon thereafter). Blaine (aka Nightbird – the Nocturnal Avenger) takes his role very seriously and gets a bit temperamental when Tina (aka Asian Persuasion) texts him on his superhero phone and asks if he’s talked to Kurt. He tells her that she can’t use her powers to get him to get back with his ex. (Too bad :/)

The superhero society is interrupted by Thai Chi who runs in and says that the New Directions’ Nationals Trophy has been stolen. The superheroes run (in slow mo) down the hall (Darren’s cape work in this episode is flawless) to the choir room to find an empty display case and a laptop.

Who leaves a laptop?

According to Blaine, someone rich.

Turns out that rich person is a pixel-faced Dalton boy. The Warblers have taken the trophy and Blaine is determined to get it back. He returns to his former school and walks down the staircase (just stab my heart, why don’t you) to find Sebastian waiting for him. Though Blaine initially blames Sebastian for stealing the trophy, the current Warbler says it wasn’t him because he’s still nice (and has been since Regionals last season after he gave up bullying after the whole Karofsky incident). Sebastian leads Blaine to the library where we meet the new captain of the Warblers… Hunter.

Hunter is in a spinny chair and is stroking a white cat, so you know he’s evil. He’s been recruited by Dalton to lead the Warblers this season and he wants Blaine back in the group (the trophy was just bait). Hunter says McKinley can have the trophy back when Blaine rejoins the Warblers. Blaine balks, but Hunter points out that he’s heard about Blaine and knows that he’s only at McKinley because of Kurt… and he heard that people refer to Blaine as “Blaine Warbler.” (Kurt and Rachel did in Season 2 when he was still a Warbler, but Brittany still call him this, as recent as a couple episodes ago.) Hunter tells Blaine that no one thinks he belongs at McKinley, so why shouldn’t he come back? Sebastian, Nick, Jeff and the beatboxing Warbler walk in to reinforce what Hunter is saying and present Blaine with a blazer. Blaine shakes them off and says “That’s not going to work on me.” But, after Hunter questions him why he’s afraid to try it on, Blaine clenches his jaw and allows the boys to slide on the jacket. A fire flares in the fireplace and there is a comedic closeup on the face of the white cat (this episode did well with the cheesy superhero show/movie-esque camera shots/angles/edits). A closeup of Blaine’s face reveals that he’s arguing with himself now that the blazer is on.

Blaine is courted with compliments… Hunter says how he doesn’t want a Dalton legend like Blaine to be sidelined his senior year. Sebastian suggests they sing a song to go along with Blaine being back in the blazer. As the shortest boy in the room tries to shake them off, the other Warblers start harmonizing and Blaine is practically forced into leading them in “My Dark Side.”

Though he starts the song off apprehensively, less than a minute in, Blaine buttons his blazer and reverts to his former Warbler ways… the two stepping, the arm movements, the jumping on furniture. All the singing about reminding me who I really am and how everybody has a dark side and will you love me, will you love mine hits me in my Blaine-loving heart a little too hard.

Is he singing to Kurt (who isn’t there)? Or is he singing to himself?

Though you can argue both sides, I’m mostly leaning toward that he’s singing to himself. See, for the past few episodes (and most of this episode), Blaine is upset with himself for cheating on Kurt. Blaine considers himself a bad person and that he made a mistake that will never be forgiven. Kurt certainly hasn’t forgiven him yet, but he hasn’t forgiven himself either. Blaine punishes himself for his indiscretion to the point where he is closed off from his friends in a self-exile. (When we see him in the choir room a little later in his superhero outfit, he’s got his cape wrapped around himself like a cocoon; shielding himself from the others and keeping his distance. Almost like he doesn’t deserve friends or to be around people because he should be miserable for all eternity.)

Later in the episode, Blaine walks into the choir room to find Schue 2.0 (Finn) preparing some blocking for sectionals. Blaine lets it slip that he sang with the Warblers, much to Finn’s chagrin. (“It just sort of happened,” Blaine sheepishly admitted.) He goes onto say how the Warblers embraced him like he was a long lost brother (and then likened that to X:Men 2… I love that canon Blaine loves X:Men). Singing with the Warblers felt so right to Blaine that he feels he belongs there. Finn says No and that Blaine belongs with the New Directions. He then asks if Blaine’s decision has to do with Kurt, which causes Blaine to kind of snap. “Everything in this room reminds me of him,” he exclaimed. “We were a dynamic duo in here. Kurt was my anchor, Finn, and now that he’s gone, I just… I feel like I’m floating.” Blaine tells Finn that he needs a team that’s going to gel, and then Finn makes a horrible pun about how Blaine has a lot of gel.

And while that is true (the gel), at this point in the show, Blaine is looking for the easiest route away from all the Kurt memories. In 3.17 and 4.03 he said he transferred to McKinley for Kurt… now that they aren’t together, Blaine doesn’t feel like he has a purpose there (even though he’s totally the senior class president…). So, Blaine tells Finn that the Warblers are his birthright and destiny (which leads me to believe that canon Blaine comes from a wealthy family, though that really has nothing to do with anything at the moment) and he leaves the room.

The next day in Glee club, Brittney announces that she doesn’t smell raspberry hair gel and wonders where Blaine Warbler is. Finn says that Blaine’s been going through a rough time (to which Tina sarcastically says “Boo hoo, it’s like a bad Lifetime movie”… how rude :/) and reveals that Blaine will be spending the rest of his senior year at Dalton. That news promptly shuts everyone up. The camera lingers long enough on Sam that we know he’s going to say something to his new gay BFF.

Thankfully, he does.

I’ve been waiting several episodes for a good, deep Blam conversation to happen. This could not have come at a better time. Sam approaches Blaine, who is cleaning out his locker and hopes that Blaine’s school change is a master plan to gather intel for competition. Blaine stops him, but Sam stops him in return, telling Blaine that he’s been beating himself up since he and Kurt broke up, but how going back to Dalton wasn’t going to solve anything – in fact, it’s another way for Blaine to punish himself. Sam asks what Blaine did exactly and we’re treated to a super vague flashback of a very upset Blaine tugging back on a shirt after some sort of sexual encounter with the faceless Eli (he’s there, but out of focus in the background… probably to spare whatever poor actor played him from Internet hate). Blaine looks destroyed and full of remorse; he runs his hands through his (not gelled/sex) hair and looks broken as he bolts from the room as fast as he can. We don’t know exactly what they did, but it can probably be assumed that is was way more than kissing (but maybe less than penetrative sex?). Regardless – it was cheating because it wasn’t with Kurt.

After the flashback, Blaine reveals to Sam that it was a guy who friended him on Facebook. He did it because he thought Kurt was moving on with his life and he wasn’t a part of it. That maybe they weren’t supposed to spend the rest of their lives together. But, right after he did it. He realized he was wrong. He and Kurt are soulmates… but what Blaine did made Kurt not trust him anymore, so of course Blaine thinks that Kurt isn’t going to forgive him. Sam says even if Kurt doesn’t forgive him, then Blaine has to at least forgive himself and try to make things right. “But exiling yourself to Dalton won’t fix anything,” Sam said. (Thank you, Sam.) Then poor Blaine brokenly utters, “I just want to stop feeling like I’m a bad person.” Sam says he’s not, and that he’s one of the good guys, and begs his friend for one day to change his mind.

(Small tangent: Blaine is not a bad person. In fact, up until he cheated, he was a mostly selfless person. The few times he messed things up with Kurt before was when he was drunk… making out with/dating Rachel, and then when he tried to drunkenly hook up with Kurt in the back of his car after Scandals. Blaine usually puts other people first; especially Kurt. Blaine encouraged Kurt to leave Dalton and go back to McKinley in S2. Blaine agreed to go to prom with Kurt even though he had a horrific time after his own Sadie Hawkins dance in S2. Blaine changed schools for Kurt in S3. Blaine tried to avoid auditioning for Tony in S3 b/c of Kurt. Blaine told Kurt to leave Ohio and go to NYC in S4. Blaine mostly puts Kurt first. But, when Blaine thought Kurt was pulling away, Blaine tried to fill the Kurt-hole and did something for himself. He hooked up with someone because he missed Kurt, because he needed intimacy, because he needed to feel wanted. But, in doing this thing for himself, he found that he was only hurting himself and Kurt in the process. Blaine’s not a bad person; he just made some poor choices. But he feels like he’s a bad person and that’s a problem. We still don’t really know how he is perceived by his family – his brother was mostly condescending toward him. We assume his dad is not entirely pleased he has a gay son. And has Blaine even mentioned anything about his mom? The Warblers never told him he was a good person… they just needed him for his leading man talent. The New Directions never addressed his character either. Kurt told Blaine he was proud of him and proud to be with him in S3. And now Sam is on his side and telling him he’s not a bad person. Sometimes you just need to hear someone else say it to actually believe it. Poor Blaine has been mostly praised for his talent, but not himself over the past three seasons.)

SO, Sam and Blaine duet on “Heroes” and we see them accomplish good things like a food/clothing drive and (with the help of the other glee kids) get rid of graffiti. It’s good to see Blaine and Sam smiling and interacting together. It’s something between them; not Kurt’s ex-boyfriend and Sam. But two superhero-loving BFFs. There’s a sweet moment at the end of their song where they each shove each other in the head. It’s a very manly/friendly action and it’s great to see Blaine and Sam become better and better friends.

As they pack up to leave the auditorium, Sam asks Blaine what his decision is. Blaine pulls a mask out of his satchel (really, Blaine?) and hands it to Sam to initiate a final mission.

And then came my favorite bit of the episode… (you do not understand my epic love of the old Batman series.)

The Dalton logo flashes as Hunter and Sebastian walk into the library to find the New Directions Nationals trophy is gone, and in its place is Blaine’s blazer (folded) with a note saying “No Thanks.” The drapes on the window wave in the (summery November) breeze. The Warblers race to the open window and out onto the balcony as they see masked Nightbird and a masked Chameleon (Sam’s superhero identity) running across the grassy lawn, trophy in hand. (The canted camera angle made my heart swell with joy.) As they run, we are treated to “BLAM!” and “SLAINE!” graphics a la the old “Ka-Pows” we used to see during Batman fight sequences. The music was note perfect… NOTE PERFECT.

Back in the choir room, Sam regales their story “Dalton was like the Death Star meets Mordor meets Temple of Doom. I mean, I might be exaggerating…but probably not.” (Oh Sam, I love you so much this season. I’m glad you have the Blam friendship story line since Ryder seems to have dyslexia even though you had dyslexia in Season 2…) Blaine then apologizes to the group for doubting that McKinley and the New Directions were his home. He also says a lot of kind words about Finn and his leadership and how he’s a uniter of friends. (Wow… remember when Finn hated Blaine last season?) They all get hyped up and do a big group hand thing and then segue into a group performance of “Some Nights.”

Some Nights” is one of my favorite songs covered on Glee, as well as one of my favorite performances. It was VERY reminiscent of the pilot’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” (red shirts and jeans… some of the same lines – lines, as in lines of people, not lines of music). It was great to hear Blaine throughout the song (even though it was a group numbers, you could hear him over most of the other people on the “whoas”) and I was super pleased that he was given the line “Some nights I wish this song would end/cause I could use some friends for a change.” I wish they didn’t edit to a wide overhead shot during this line and would have shown Blaine’s face for this pivotal lyric, but alas.

Because of Glee, I finally learned all the lyrics to this song. And you know what? It’s super sad. “What do I stand for? Some nights I don’t know anymore.” I listened to this so much there came a point where I almost teared up because of the lyrics. (I’m telling you… songs have really been getting to me. I’m going to probably legit cry when we get Kurt’s song for 4.09.)

Anyway, while Blaine was featured heavily in the song, the number belonged mostly to Ryder, Jake, Marley and Kitty (Tina got a little solo time, but this was mostly a new people number). It was a great way to incorporate the newbies into the remaining Glee kids from last season. (Though, did you notice Unique was not in this episode? Hmmm…)

It was nice to see the group united as they head into Sectionals next week. (I LOVE SECTIONALS. I kind of live for competition…but I’m more looking forward to the Warblers songs than ND’s… I don’t like “Gangnam Style” #sorrynotsorry)

So, on a whole I liked this episode a lot. I liked that Sue, Will, Emma, Rachel and Kurt weren’t in it. I thought the music was pretty good and was pleased with the additional Ryder/Jake stuff (I want them to be friends.). Although the Blaingst broke my heart throughout a majority of the episode, I liked that Sam stepped up to give Blaine some tough love. Sam didn’t have to fight for Blaine to stay, but he did because he’s a good friend. I hope Blaine makes some more friends in the Glee club. And I hope that the writers come up with some decent story lines for the characters instead of just rehashing old plot lines from S1 (which they have been doing a lot this season, sadly).

So, Sectionals, then Cheerios(!), then Christmas… I’m looking forward to our finale three episodes before the winter hiatus.

How about you?

It’s not that I’m anti-reunion. But, it’s being held the day after Thanksgiving and I will be in Minnesota with my family (as opposed to Ohio where the reunion is taking place.)

Am I sad I’m going to miss the reunion?

In a word, No.

I don’t keep in contact (except Facebook) with a majority of the people I knew in high school. In fact, nowadays, I really only keep in contact with one person from high school and that’s because we both live in NYC. Before a couple months ago, we actually hadn’t spoken in about 10 years. But, now we’ve seen each other a few times and intend to hang out more in the future.

I would rather spend the day after Thanksgiving with my family than with people I went to high school with. It’s not that I don’t want to see these people, but I feel that Facebook has kept me abreast of what is going on in most of these people’s lives. I had friends in high school, but I wasn’t friends with everyone (nor did everyone make an effort to be my friend). Who thinks that after 10 years of little/no contact that things would be somehow different?

Plus – there’s always the awkward “So, what are you doing?” question. I’m not married. I don’t have any kids. I don’t even have a steady job. It’s almost a struggle to pay my bills each month.

But, I do have two college degrees. I am a published writer. I did just move to NYC a few months ago. I do have two internships with film producers. I did just work on the opening of a Broadway show this week. I did get a kiss on the cheek from The Fonz himself (yes, THE Henry Winkler) on Wednesday.

I’m not doing great, but I’m also not doing half bad either.

Are there people I want to see? Yes, of course. There are people I wish I would have stayed in better contact with. There are guys I used to have crushes on that it would be fun to see what they’re up to 10 years later.

Are there people who want to see me? Probably not.

Do I want people to want to see me? Selfishly, yes. I’ve lost weight since high school and my boobs got bigger. I fit into a smaller dress now than I did at prom and I know how to wear tall shoes (which make my legs look extra awesome). I have a better sense/grasp of fashion. I’m definitely more confident and I have a lot of fun/random/crazy stories from various adventures over the year.

But would I trade precious time with my family for a class reunion a 1/3 of the country away?

HELL TO THE NO.

I love my family and while I’m proud of myself for moving to the East Coast all by myself, I miss them like crazy. And there is no way I would miss hanging out with them for the world.

On Friday when my former classmates are at the reunion, I’ll be in sweatpants and a hoodie, dancing around my parents living room playing Just Dance 4 and drinking a beer.

So, here’s to you, FHS Class of ’02. Way to stay in the A-K… but I’m going to live my life outside of the sanctuary of Ohio where you and most of your families still reside.

If Glease is the word, then I don’t know what to tell you…

I can only hope some Klaine closure (or at least better communication between the two boys) is in the foreseeable future. I don’t even need them to get back together… I just need for them to talk it out. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.

(SPOILERS AHEAD… YE BE WARNED)

The show opened with Mr. Schue announcing to his students that he was leaving temporarily and would be back after Sectionals. Tina flipped out (You go, Tina Cohen-Chang! Glad you finally got some dialogue even though you still don’t get m/any solos…) when he said that Finn was in charge. Sue steps in and tells Schue and Finn to go to the principal’s office. She says it’s all a scheme and Finn can’t teach (which he can’t – he’s even more unqualified than Schue). Finn promises he can do it, do it for free (volunteer) and will take the kids to Sectionals. Sue storms out to Carmina Burana and I cracked one of the few smiles to be had during the episode. (That music just kills me when used in context on this silly show.)

After the “glee” title card (oh how I embrace your consistency), we find ourselves in Cassandra July’s dance class (I will henceforth refer to her as CJ). She brings in some upperclassmen to help with the dance lesson and Brody and Rachel immediately pair off together. Rachel tells Brody she got herself an off-Broadway audition for The Glass Menagerie with some crazy/artistic director named Ivan. CJ overhears their conversation and butts in. Rachel then tells CJ that she should audition to get herself back in the game. CJ is offended by Rachel’s suggestion. After class, CJ asks Brody to be a TA, which would require late nights and extra time with her. He agrees to it and this obviously prefaces one of the more awkward/lopsided love triangles of the show.

Meanwhile, back at McKinley, Tina is working with Marley backstage and doing a costume fitting. For some reason, this super skinny girl cannot fit into her costume. A quick flashback reveals that Kitty sabotaged her (of course she did). But, Kitty pretends to play nice and suggests the girls have a sleepover. Marley only agrees to go if Unique can come too (I LOVE the Marley/Unique friendship. LOVE IT.).

In the lunchroom, Marley asks her mom when she started to get big, fearing genetics are going to catch up with her sooner rather than later and she’ll end up looking like her mother. (In reality, Kitty messed with Marley’s costume and Marley is not gaining weight, but she doesn’t know that…) Marley’s mom basically admits that she ate her feelings and Marley worries that she (Marley) is going to become obese. Her mom says, “I raised a star. You have control over your life and body,” and then encourages her daughter to fight for it. Then the mother suggests they go on a diet together. Marley is rail thin and does not need a diet, but she has it implanted in her brain because of the tight costume and her mom’s weight that she too is on the road to obesity. (And thus begins this episode’s launch into eating disorders…. While I admire Glee for trying to tackle socially relevant issues, I wish they wouldn’t just stick it in an episode unless they plan on completely following through with it. See also: Coach Bieste’s abusive relationship with Cooter.)

Finn walks into the Teacher’s Lounge and finds Sue wanting him to leave. He tries to apologize for calling her baby retarded, but she won’t have it. (Remember in Season 1 when Finn said he would never use that word. Well, he did. And it was bad.) She says there is hate in his heart and then says the glee kids can’t use the auditorium to rehearse the musical and that they would have to find somewhere else.

So… what better place to practice “Greased Lightning” than Hummel Tire & Lube? Mike calls it Method rehearsal and the glee boys launch into a PG version of this manly number. I was glad to see Mike Chang back in the mix and my smitten-ness with Ryder increased tenfold this episode. (Plus, Blake Jenner’s arms are delightful.)

Part of me really wished that Blaine didn’t wig out at his audition and accepted the role of Danny. Not only would it have been a perfect part for Blaine (as his hair is already greased like whoa), but it would have been cool to see Blaine lead this male ensemble in song (alongside his kind of BFF Sam/Kenickie). But alas.

Back in NYC, Kurt was helping Rachel stretch in the dance studio and they talked about going back to Lima to see the musical. CJ walks in and Kurt compliments her abs (they are nice abs – way to go, Kate Hudson). CJ tells them they should go for closure and to see their friends and to have fun, and because it’s Grease. Kurt admits he needs to see Blaine. He hasn’t been sleeping and he’s been living off of Ambien and The Notebook (callback to “Goodbyes,” yo). CJ even offers up her Jet Blue miles to them. Why is she being so nice all of a sudden? (And why hasn’t Kurt communicated with Blaine if he needs to see him so badly? We know Blaine has tried to reach out to him. But that Gilmore Girls box set was returned unopen…)

At Kitty’s sleepover, Marley watches in horror as the other girls and Unique walk in with boxes and cartons of junk food. She asks if there are any healthy snacks and then Kitty drags her into the bathroom and introduces her to two fingers and the toilet. Kitty says you will binge and purge if you love yourself. (I’m pretty sure that’s not loving yourself…). After she leaves Marley in the bathroom to contemplate starting an eating disorder, Kitty puts on a brown wig and newsboy cap and launches into “Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee.” It’s pretty much a spot-on Grease remake (as are most of the songs in this episode…) and Marley walks in to find the other girls making fun of her. That poor girl :/

The next day at school, Unique (well, Wade since he’s in “boy” clothes) is in Figgins office with his parents. They are not happy that he got cast as Rizzo. They support his life choices, but are scared because it’s Ohio and are worried about their son’s safety. (Unique gets slammed into lockers much like Kurt did during Seasons 1 & 2). His parents pull him out of the play and tell him he cannot wear girl’s clothes at school. Sue orchestrated this whole thing because she wants to derail the musical and keep Wade safe. (I would argue it’s mostly the former than the latter.)

The role of Rizzo is quickly filled when Artie and Finn ask Santana to play the part. She agrees right as Tina runs into the room to offer her own services. She’s pissed that she can’t play the role (“You have got to be kidding me!”), but might I remind you that she refused to audition for the show. So… yeah.

After the commercial break, we find Rachel and Kurt walking down the halls of McKinley, reminiscing. Kurt’s concerned he’ll run into Blaine (Um, Kurt, weren’t you the one who just said a few scenes ago that you needed to see Blaine?). Instead they run into Mercedes and she tells us in one sentence that she is busy with UCLA classes, recording backing vocals and is in contact with Puck. (Oh, if you’re so busy, than how have you been in Lima the last week “helping” with the musical? Oh Glee… your plot rarely makes logical sense.)

Backstage, Marley still can’t fit into her costume. And Kurt/Rachel run into Blaine/Finn… Mercedes excuses herself from the epically awkward foursome and (pardon my French) fucking Finchel takes over the whole scene while Kurt and Blaine painfully look at and away from each other. It was painful for their characters and painful for the audience to watch as these (former?) soul mates could hardly stand to look at each other. Finn brings up that the four of them have a history and he’s glad they’re there. However, Kurt says it was a mistake to come and the foursome dissolves.

A bunch of the musical goes by that we don’t see because the first music number we come upon is “Beauty School Dropout.” Blaine makes a perfect Teen Angel (though one could argue the vocals were a little low for Darren, but he still killed it). He looked so handsome and suave in his white pants and gray sweater. Sugar was basically a stand in for the whole of the Blaine-loving audience when she turned to putty under his gaze. Blaine loses his cool for half a second when he spots Kurt in the audience, looking on with dead eyes. In that moment, I felt like throwing up as much as Kurt looked like he just threw up. (I have all the Blaine feels all the time, okay?)

Speaking of throwing up… Ryder finds Marley in the bathroom, gagging herself over the toilet. He tells her to stop and then launches into a story about his cousin who tried to lose weight. It gets serious and he tells her his cousin took laxatives. When it gets to the climax of the story, Marley asks if he died. No… he crapped himself in front of the whole school. (Cue laughter.) Ryder (my sweet, sweet Ryder) tells Marley she shouldn’t do what she’s doing because “I don’t want to kiss a girl who has puke on her breath. Not on stage or later.” (AWWWWWWWWW, Ryder.)

So, Marley sings the reprise of “Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee” and walks herself from the bathroom to the stage where she is eyed by Ryder and Jake (I’m Team Ryley, 100%).

After the commercial break, we find Santana prepping to go onstage in her Rizzo outfit. Brittany approaches her and said she’s glad Santana is back as both girls miss each other a lot. Santana reveals she agreed to do the show so she could see Brittany again. Brittany says she’s not dating anyone and Santana is glad, though says she would be okay with it if she was. And then Brittany says something that broke my heart (even though I am not a Brittana shipper…), she said that their breakup hurts most on Fridays because that was their date night. (Sadness…)

Santana is sad and then starts singing “There Are Worse Things I Could Do.” Her vocals are juxtaposed with Unique sitting in the audience (poor Wade) and CJ dancing/kissing/flirting with a very shirtless Brody. (Really, CJ? Moving in on a much younger man because you’re jealous of Rachel Berry? Or maybe not jealous, but super spiteful? Gross.)

From angst to Tike, Mike tells Tina she is doing great as Jan and that maybe they shouldn’t have broken up. Tina likes who she is after the breakup, but admits to missing Mike too. They agree to talk about it. (Finally, some friggin’ communication! GO TIKE!)

Backstage, Ryder sees Marley in her tight black outfit for the musical’s finale. He is just so nice to her and Kitty is so mean. (Kitty needs to leave. Like, now. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.) Ryder tells Marley (for the umpteenth time) not to listen to Kitty. He says, “Look at me. Take a deep breath. You look amazing. You sound amazing. This is going to be amazing.” And then they kiss… and my love for Ryley grows and grows, especially as Jake looks on in disgust.

Back from commercial break, the ensemble launches into “You’re the One That I Want” (and Marley is looking fierce in her outfit… it’s troubling to think that a beautiful person like her is so insecure in herself that she believes Kitty over Ryder). During the song, it becomes a fantasy sequence lead by Rachel Berry (throwback to the pilot… we even get a flashback of Episode 1 Finchel – ugh). All the couples (current and broken up) are paired off and my Klaine-loving heart just wants a few seconds more of the boys together. But alas. Finn thanks Artie for dragging him into co-directing the musical. Confident Finn is definitely better than bumbling Finn.

After the show, Rachel goes to call Brody and CJ picks up (of course). Brody’s in the shower, so CJ gets all bitchy and tells Rachel that Rachel missed out on a hot piece of ass to go back to her old high school and ex-boyfriend. CJ tells Rachel that this is a life lesson and that CJ doesn’t need to get back in the game because she is the game. (Ew.) Rachel hangs up on her and cries.

Finn finds her in the hallway and asks what’s wrong. She says she shouldn’t have come and Finn knows she’s crying over a boy, more specifically Brody. (Finn might not be as dumb as he looks… because he knows Rachel inside and out by this point in their relationship, or lack thereof). He says she used to cry like that for him. Their conversation gets weirdish and they somehow agree that they shouldn’t talk anymore about anything. No contact whatsoever. Finn is sad and confused by this, but I am so ready for Finchel to be over. Especially when they already broke up a bunch of times and I thought they were broken up for real after 4×5. Apparently not really. But who knows? All I know is the episode was ending fast and there was no Klaine scene as of that moment.

Sadly I almost got what I wanted. There was a Klaine scene, but it wasn’t satisfying in the slightest.

Even though at the beginning of the episode is seemed that Kurt wanted to see Blaine, that was obviously not the case anymore. In the hallway after the show, Blaine wants to talk to Kurt, but Kurt says he isn’t interested. Blaine wants to tell Kurt about the guy he hooked up with (there’s that super vague word again…), but Kurt won’t hear it. He rhetorically asks if they just kissed and if it meant nothing and he didn’t care. Blaine says he didn’t care, but that’s not good enough for Kurt. Kurt replies, “Relationships are about trust. I don’t trust you anymore.” And then (with an epic punch to the Klaine gut), Kurt says Rachel was right about how “here” isn’t home anymore and he walks off, leaving Blaine in the hallway.

While I get that Kurt is still super pissed about Blaine cheating on him (and rightly so), I still feel really bad for Blaine that no one is willing to listen to him talk about his feelings or about what he did or why he did it. No one listens to Blaine about anything ever. It’s a wonder his character hasn’t punched a wall or been self-destructive somehow. There’s no way to keep all those feelings inside like that… I know. I’ve been there. (I didn’t cheat on anyone, but I did keep a bunch of feelings bottled up when I was in high school and bad things happened. Like depression. And stress-induced tension headaches and cysts. But I digress.)

Blaine collects himself to join everyone else in the choir room. (I find it hilarious that we all speculated the boy in the purple shirt and waistcoat was Blaine, but it was actually Mike Chang) Mr. Schue gives a speech about leaving and loving the glee kids and how he’s going to miss them. (Blah blah blah) Finn and Schue then walk out and talk about Sectionals. (I cannot f-ing wait until Sectionals. WARBLERS!)

And then the episode ended and we got the promo…

Super Heroes (The episode is called “Dynamic Duets)
Warblers! (Including Blaine singing with them and wearing a blazer again… oh goodness. My body is not ready yet.)
And the Glee kids are not happy about Blaine going back to Dalton… Finn questions him about it and Artie likens him to being taken by the Dark Side

I hope next week’s episode is better than this week’s. I believe this is the episode we find out about Eli C. and what exactly Blaine’s “hookup” entailed.

Prayer Circle for a good plot and not just getting important story lines glossed over.

Well, Glee is back.

I almost have a panic attack before every episode (especially episodes that air after a hiatus)… I think it’s because I love the show so much and completely hate it at the same time that my heart doesn’t quite know what to do. So, I start breathing real heavy and my heart starts racing.

And then an hour later the show is over and I’m left mostly disappointed.

Episode 4×5 – The Role You Were Born to Play was no exception.

(SPOILERS)

The episode opened with Finn working at Hummel’s Tire Shop. (If only Burt were there, but alas…). Artie rolls in and listens to Finn lament about how his life is basically crap and how he hopes to get crushed by a car in the shop. Artie asks Finn to remember the song he sang to him before graduation last year (What’s that? Continuity… Such a strange concept for this show.), and then reminds him that he meant what he said – Finn is his friend and hero. So, Artie asks Finn to co-direct the musical. Finn initially balks, but Artie says Finn can do it because being a director is about having an idea and convincing everyone around you to make it happen. (As a former director, this is partially the case, but there’s a lot of other stuff that goes into the process too. Just saying…)

After Finn has a spark of “maybe I can do this” in his eye, we cut to the black and white title card (the one thing I can count on during each ridiculous episode).

My beloved Blam (Blaine and Sam) is in the hallway and Sam is signing up for the musical, saying how Blaine and him are Class President and Vice President, so they can have whatever roles they want. Sad!Blaine says he doesn’t feel like doing the musical. He doesn’t feel like much as of late since he and Kurt are broken up. He doesn’t sleep, nor does he gel on the weekends. The kid is sad. Blaine pours his heart out to Sam, saying he (Blaine) and Kurt were soulmates who planned out their future together. Married. Live in Massachusetts. Buy a lighthouse. Instead of listening like a good friend, Sam pats Blaine on the shoulder and basically tells him to get over it because breakups happen to everyone.

This is Blaine’s first breakup and he just isn’t going to get over it. Nope. Blaine launches into a very, very emotional version of “Hopelessly Devoted to You” which ends up being a cross between Across the Universe’s “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and Blaine’s audition for Grease (during which Finn and Artie are impressed, of course). As soon as he’s done singing, Artie tells him “you are the Danny Zuko of our dreams,” but Blaine immediately tells them that he can’t do the role because he can’t play a romance because he ruined his own. Blaine cannot play the truth in Danny because he himself is a relationship ruiner. Artie asks if there is any role Blaine could play. Even though he’s a wreck, Blaine says he could maybe play Teen Angel because it’s just the one scene, but probably not. Blaine then runs off the stage, crying. Artie comments how he’s never seen Blaine be so “Masterpiece Theater.”

AND THAT IS BASICALLY THE LAST WE SEE/HEAR OF BLAINE THE WHOLE EPISODE.

Why am I shouting? Because I’m mad, that’s why.

YES, Blaine cheated on Kurt and is a majority of the reason why they broke up. But, Blaine’s obviously a mess and no one seems to care. He looked like he tried to talk to Finn near the end of 4×4, but was interrupted. He poured his little heart out to Sam, but his feelings were not addressed – he was merely told to shake it off.

But how can you shake something off when that was your entire world and now it’s gone?

Blaine has no friends at McKinley, or at least none who seem to care about how he is spiraling into the depths of misery. It’s no wonder (SPOILER ALERT) he considers going back to Dalton in 4×7… because no one at McKinley cares. And maybe no one at Dalton cares either. But it’s really sad that the only person who cared about Blaine was Kurt. And now Kurt’s not only gone from Ohio, but he’s gone from their relationship. (For now, at least.) (END SPOILER)

I wish Blaine had a friend. OR, I wish Blaine had an adult he could talk to. And I seriously wish that adult were Burt Hummel. It is canon that Burt Hummel cares about Blaine. A lot. Ever since the Prom episode Season 2, Blaine has been one of “the boys.” And then last year during the Michael episode, when Kurt finds out that he’s a NYADA finalist, Burt begs to be the one to tell Blaine. We know Blaine seems to have dad issues of his own, but it would be nice for him to get some sort of comfort from somewhere… and I think Burt Hummel would be the ideal candidate for this position.

Throughout the fandom, a lot of people speculate that Blaine suffers from depression. Maybe he does. We don’t know because we really don’t know much about him. We do know he’s sad and is (rightly) taking the blame for cheating on his boyfriend. Blaine has no avenue through which to share his feelings (except for music). Blaine even admitted that he knows how to emote in song (2×12), but not in real life. This is why his musical performances are overtly emotional… it appears this is the only way for him to get out his feelings sometimes. He might not be able to find the words on his own, but I’ll be damned if that kid doesn’t latch onto lyrics like they are a lifeline and sings them with every fiber of his being. (And ALL the credit goes to Darren Criss. Sure, I’m biased because I’m a fan and think he’s one of the most talented performers in his demographic, but that boy brings all the feels in a realistic – and therefore sometimes extremely vulnerable – way. I mean… do you remember “Teenage Dream” from The Break Up? Yeah, I thought so…)

I told my friends last night that Blaine is a sinking ship, but no one around him is willing to veer off their own path to rescue him.

(Also – WTF is up with him and Kurt wanting to buy a lighthouse… and then we all know Eli C’s facebook picture is a lighthouse. Does this mean anything? Is it just a freaky coincidence?! What is the deal with Blaine and lighthouses??)

BUT, enough about poor Blaine since he wasn’t really in the rest of the episode…

You know who was in the episode? Mike and Mercedes! (WHAT?! How did they get out of college/adult lives in Chicago and LA, respectively, to come back to Ohio to help cast the musical? Oh wait, it’s Glee. And Glee rarely makes sense.) So, Mike and Mercedes are there to help Artie and Finn. (Not gonna lie: I missed Mike Chang.)

Guess who else was back? COACH BEISTE!

Oh, how I missed her and her crazy-ass similes and metaphors. She was couples counseling Wemma because Will wanted Emma to go with him to DC and she wanted to stay in Ohio, though by the end of this scene, she agrees to go. Beiste (and the whole of the audience) could see it in Emma’s eyes that she was not pleased with her decision.

Back at McKinley (btw – I was super grateful there was no Kurt and Rachel in this episode. They were mentioned by name, but we never went to New York. I was grateful for this because I get tired of Glee being “The Rachel Berry Show.” Granted the guy who plays Brody is FINE, but I care about other characters too. Like Blaine… oh wait… Sigh.)

So, Artie, Finn, Mike and Mercedes are trying to figure out who can play Danny since Blaine is a no go for launch. They want Sam, but he’s determined to play Kenickie. Joe won’t cut his dreads and Jake isn’t signed up to audition. They turn to the football team, since that’s where Finn came from.

Finn walks onto the field and sees the team practicing. He talks to Beiste and she says he’s one of a kind but wishes he believed it. He asks Beiste if there is a male lead for the musical out on the field. This is where we are introduced to Ryder – a loner who jokes around and pulls some silly dance moves out on the field. Finn comments how the kid can move, and Beiste counters that Finn moves too – he moves people. So, we know Finn and Finn 2.0 will obviously talk later.

(And cut to commercial.)

When we get back from break, Marley is in the girl’s restroom and Unique walks in. They talk about what roles the want in the musical (Marley wants Sandy and Unique wants Rizzo). Sue walks out of a stall, having overheard their conversation. Sue tells Unique that he is a boy and can’t play the role. She insults him a lot and then turns to Marley to try to insult her, but she isn’t able to for some reason. (Probably because right now, Marley is the most pure/genuinely good character Glee has ever seen and there is no way to tear her down because she’s that moral.) I was busy FB messaging a friend, so I tuned out of Sue’s string of insults to Unique (I’m just so over Sue’s meanness), though I did hear Sue say something about having to watch TV with a dental dam over it. (Yikes.) Long story short, Sue will not allow Unique to play Rizzo. Marley stands up to Sue and we segue to Marley and Unique auditioning for the musical by singing a duet of Pink’s “Blow Me (One Last Kiss).”

So… I kind of love Marley. I dig her voice and I like that she wore pants and non-heals.

Their duet is great and I actually really like Marley and Unique singing together. I hope they can remain friends as they are both social outcasts and a friendship could be beneficial for them.

Later, Finn strolls into a study hall and tells the teacher that he has a phone call in the office (to get rid of him). He walks up to Ryder and finds him actually studying in study hall. Finn is surprised, but Ryder confesses that he has a lot on his plate and needs to study in order to pull the grades he needs but doesn’t have. Finn asks Ryder to try out for the show, but he says he can’t. We then see Ryder get back a bad grade. He’s upset and tells his teacher that he’s been working so hard that he hadn’t even seen The Dark Knight Rises. (The teacher had and her comments about Bane made me laugh.)

Later, Artie and Finn are on the stage in the auditorium talking direction choices for the show. There’s a jukebox on stage and Ryder walks in as Artie leaves. He says he wants to audition so long as there isn’t any singing. Then Finn, eloquent as never, says something like “singing is awesome, like a good poop.” They end up singing “Jukebox Hero” in some sort of fantasy sequence where they are playing with a band in front of a bunch of screaming girls.

I might be smitten with Ryder.

After they’re done singing, Ryder asks if he should audition, to which Finn replies, “You just did.”

OH SNAP.

After the break, Ryder walks up to Marley at her locker to introduce himself since they are probably going to play opposite of each other. She knows who he is because he’s a football player. She giggles and is nervous. But, Ryder is kinda awesome and one of the first things out of his mouth is that Marley’s mom rules because she sneaks him extra meatballs on spaghetti day.

If I wasn’t already smitten with Ryder, this scene sealed the deal. Marley’s mom has been the butt of numerous jokes and her comes popular jock Ryder and the first thing he says to Marley is that he likes her mom. This kid gets bonus points and then some.

Down the hallway, Jake and Kitty look on at Ryder and Marley talking. Jake is jealous of Ryder and Kitty is pissed that Ryder and Jake both appear to be interested in Marley. Kitty walks over to talk to Ryder and proceeds to be horrible to Marley in the process. Ryder doesn’t flinch as he calls her a bitch. Kitty continues to rag on Marley and finally Marley leaves. Ryder watches her go and you can tell he feels bad about her getting picked on.

Jake and Kitty sign up for the musical in an attempt to stop Marley and Ryder from being the leads together. They sing a duet of “Everybody Talks.” For some reason, his voice sounded super weird to me and I didn’t like this at all. I appreciated their dancing, but did not like the song at all.

After all the auditions are over, Artie, Finn, Mike and Mercedes discuss whom they want to play whom. Artie wants Kitty for Sandy, arguing you can’t have a brunette Sandy. (Um, did he not see the most recent revival of Grease when Sandy was played by brown-haired Laura Osnes??) Finn wants Unique to play Rizzo. This causes some issues…

Sue calls Finn into the principal’s office where we find that Figgins thinks Unique is a girl. She’s not, but Finn argues that she identifies as female and should be cast as such. Sue is against this. She is for progress but says that since they are in Ohio, she doesn’t want Unique put in danger because of the place they live.

Finn stands up to Sue and I was almost back on board the Finn train when he puts his giant foot in his mouth by calling Sue’s daughter a “retarded baby.” My jaw dropped. I mean, Finn has said some horrible and stupid stuff over the past four seasons, but this was probably tied for number one of the worst thing that ever came out of his mouth (tied with when he used the “F” word when talking to Kurt in Season 1). Though he immediately apologized, he still was in the wrong.

Meanwhile, Beiste goes to Emma’s office to confront her about how they left the faux counseling session the other day. She tells Emma that she knows Emma doesn’t want to go to D.C. Beiste doles out some tough love and tells Emma that if she goes to D.C., she’ll need to get excited about doing something that isn’t Will.

In the hallway, Mile approaches Tina (Tike – how I’m missed you so!). Tina is upset because Mike didn’t tell her he was going to be there and she is weirded out because neither of them are handling it well. Mike wants Tina in the musical, but she won’t audition. (Which is a TRAGEDY. Tina Cohen-Chang has been a background player since season one, and now it’s her senior year and the writers basically keep writing her out of opportunities to shine. I love Jenna’s voice and think she is severely underused on the show.)

So, there are Sandy and Danny callbacks since Artie, Finn, Mercedes and Mike want to see who has chemistry and can dance. They all sing “Born to Hand Jive” and both Jake and Ryder keep eyeballing Marley. Kitty is jealous and mad and tries to hone in on the boys. Marley and Ryder fit well together, which further pisses off Kitty.

After the break, Finn approaches Unique in the library and offers her the part of Rizzo. He tells Unique that he will worry about Coach Sue. Unique breaks down and confides in Finn that she doesn’t feel right in the men’s locker room or wearing men’s clothes. She cries, glad to have found a place in the glee club that accepts her. Finn looked a bit uncomfortable but took it in stride. As Finn leaves, he tells Unique that he has to know that she’s okay with everything because there will be a lot of heat on her. She acknowledges that dreams come with a price. It’s disheartening, but one of the better scenes between two very different characters. It’s nice seeing Finn stick up for Unique the way he should have stuck up for Kurt during Season one. Finn is getting a lot of second chances this year… let’s hope he takes advantage of them.

I liked how they edited the scene where the cast list was put up and everyone went and saw which part they got… the font used was perfect, as were the freeze frames. Blaine cast a grateful, albeit sad, look at Finn and Co. when he finds that he has been cast as Teen Angel. The best reaction was Kitty’s, though… “Who the hell is Patty Simcox?” Well Kitty, she was basically the role you were born to play. (Is THAT why the episode is called what it is? Probably not… but that’s what I’m going with.) Kitty is pissed about this and is super mean to Marley again.

I kind of wish Marley would punch Kitty. But Marley is too good of a person. Speaking of Marley, I hope Jarley never happens because I like her and Ryder too much together.

After the last commercial break, we are at the Wemma household. She is stress cooking like whoa and Will comes home to assume that since she made so much food, he must have missed one of their many anniversaries. (He didn’t.) Will asks Emma to just tell him what is wrong and she finally confesses she doesn’t want to go to D.C. She asks him to sit and hear her out as she explains that she loves him, but she loves her job and the kids and that though she is excited for him, she doesn’t want to go and resent him. Will is not upset, but he gets it. They have a nice moment where they talk about what is important to them in their relationship. He says trust and honesty. She says acceptance and adoration. Both agree that while they love each other, they do not need to be with each other every moment of every day.

The next day, Will checks in on Finn in the choir room. Finn (dumbly) asks how they are supposed to have a flying car (oh, Grease!). They get into a discussion about how Finn likes helping other people’s dreams come true. Will tells him, “It’s called being a teacher” and then says how he is leaving for a few months. He asks Finn to be in charge of the glee club. Finn says that that’s an adult’s job and Will tells him that Finn is an adult and it’s about time he called him Will instead of Mr. Schue. Will then gives Finn a sappy speech about how Finn is a man and blah blah blah (Finn is not really that mature, so I’m left to assume Will isn’t either if he thinks Finn is. So there…). The episode ends with Will asking Finn to accept a three-month commitment as glee club instructor. (Yikes.)

And then there’s the promo…

Next week is Grease. (It is the word, you know.) Will leaves (Thank God.). They sing more Grease songs (“Greased Lightning”, “Beauty School Dropout” and “You’re the One That I Want” will be in the episode). So, yeah… That’s about it.

I hope they give Blaine a little more story (or perhaps an outlet to express his feelings). I can’t wait to see Ryder and Marley as Danny and Sandy. And, yeah. Glee is back. I’m not doing cartwheels, but it’s nice to see Darren Criss on my television again.

Thoughts?

… but I probably won’t check it twice.

I’m not Santa Claus.

But I am about to turn 29.

Yes, tonight is the eve of my 29th birthday. I’m way closer to 30 than ever and I’ve decided to make a list of stuff I want to accomplish before I turn 30.

My sister had a little bit of a to-do list before she turned the big 3-0, and she accomplished most of her stuff. The biggest thing she DIDN’T accomplish was to visit all 50 states before she turned 30. She’s been to 49. She will get get 50th state next summer when she’s 31… her and her future husband are going on a Hawaiian cruise for their honeymoon 🙂 I’m excited for them.

So… what is going to be on my list? Finding a job that pays the bills. Paying bills. Maybe be a little more adventurous. There’s going to be stuff on that list that I won’t share with anyone – stuff that’s important to me, though.

I was going to try and get some writing done tonight but I’m too tired from staying up to watch Obama’s victory speech. SO, this computer is being shut off in a couple minutes and I will jot down my list in my notebook (yes, pen on paper… I’m old school.)

Have a good one

(P.S. If you’re on the East Coast, I hope you stay safe and warm. This weather is RIDICULOUS!)

It has been an insane past week.

Hurricane Sandy royally fucked up a lot of people’s lives. The storm destroyed property. It destroyed families. It destroyed cities.

Basically, Hurricane Sandy destroyed nouns.

Somehow, in the middle of the storm shenanigans, I had my own 28 hour mini-adventure which resulted in having one of the best worst days ever.

As this best worst day was in progress, I couldn’t help but think that everything was unfolding exactly like the plot of a movie. There were highs. There were lows. There were completely unavoidable hurdles that forced our protagonists closer together in order to just make it through the day (hopefully in one piece). The amount of crap we went through trying to get from point A to point B was astounding due to unseen forces of nature. Car trouble. Getting gas trouble. Crossing bridge trouble. Communication trouble. Meeting up with people trouble. Seriously – one dumb thing after another. It got to the point where you just had to keep laughing in order to prevent yourself from smashing your head against the wall.

But, because of who I am and who I was with for the whole of the day, it all ended up okay. And we agreed throughout the day that what was going on felt like the plot of a movie, to the point where we joked that we should probably have a fight at some point because that kind of movie needs one big fight.

We didn’t fight. There were some miniscule disagreements throughout the day, but never any fighting. So, I guess I’ll have to write one in.

I already started a script based off of this best worst day. Because I need to exaggerate what happened between the protagonists and take their story farther than what went down in real life, I’m not using my name for the character who is going to be mostly based off of me. But, I will keep his name in tact because I need to keep the late-night mix CD scene in and part of that hinges on a certain James Taylor song.

And so I will write. And I haven’t been this driven to write in a few months. I punched out a feature script this spring in a raging fit of catharsis. As I sit here ready to type out my new project, part of me thinks I had to get that other stuff out first so that I could write something like this. Get all the angsty crap out of the way so I could wrap my mind around something lighter. Like, it’s possible for the characters to be happy around each other instead of just mopey and wrecked.

Or MAYBE, it’s possible for me to be happy, and not just mopey and wrecked.

Oh shit.

I actually just made myself burst into tears. WITH MY OWN WRITTEN WORDS.

(It’s also Shark Week, so I’m just on edge right now. And a little sick from lack of sleep/the weather.)

So maybe this script will be a catharsis too. But, I was always told to write what I know.

So…

We’ll see how this script goes.

Have a good one