So, Glee’s “Feud” episode should have been called “Fight Club”… I think this was one of the most physically violent episodes of the show. (At least Kurt didn’t get shoved into any lockers… the fan fave was maybe in the episode for 4 minutes, but had one of the best lines of the whole night – “Bitch stole my pillow.” – Because he and Rachel kicked her out of their apartment and she did, in fact, take his pillow. And Rachel’s comforter.)

 

The show opened with that same music that plays when Sue Sylvester is gonna go ape-shit on someone (“O Fortuna” from Carmina Burana), but this time it dealt with Will and Finn (though fear not, Sue still goes ape shit on people in this episode too… as per usual).

 

So, how about we deal with this episode like last week? By song (and, therefore, by “Feud”).

 

Heartbreaker – Brody vs. Rachel

 

It’s official – Rachel is not pregnant and Brody is a gigolo (Neither of these revelations are a surprise.). Brody calls himself “Gunner” and allows himself to get picked up by an older woman to help pay for his tuition. Throughout the song, he muses that he thinks he loves Rachel (you don’t Brody, let’s be real here…) and he wastes her time and the viewers’ time by singing and dancing with this older woman. He’s a minor character who is nothing more than a nice body and plot filler. Rachel sings the song with him, though she is home and alone. She says she thinks she loves him too, but you can tell this is not a “forever” relationship. I can’t wait for Brody not to be on the show anymore.

 

 

The Bitch is Back/Dress You Up – Ryder vs. Unique

 

Unique is mad at Ryder for kissing Marley (remember Unique and Marley are besties and they are flawless together, MmmKay?). She also calls Ryder a poser while she calls herself a “proud Black woman.” Ryder scoffs and calls Unique a “dude” and that pisses her off.

 

This was one of those episodes where Glee tried to tackle a HUGE topic of gender identity and it just came off weak and not quite great. Unique and Ryder sing their mashup and it’s a great mashup (those two have such strong voices), but when Blaine asks them to shake hands and let bygones be bygones. Unique wants Ryder to call her a girl, but Ryder refuses, saying he’s a dude. Unique is furious and says, “You don’t get to decide for me.” Jake (who is also mad at Ryder for kissing Marley) calls Ryder a douche and says that in the glee club, people are supposed to be allowed to be whoever they want. (Way to go, Ryder.)

Ryder has been conversing with some girl (whose name is Katie – I think) online (oh, remember the days of IM? Sigh). They talk about silly stuff, but also about serious matters, such as Ryder not calling Unique a girl. Ryder says he respects Wade and his choices and then the mystery girl says that being a girl is Wade/Unique’s truth so that Ryder should respect said truth.

 

Later in the episode, Ryder asks Unique, Marley and Jake to meet him. He apologizes to Marley for kissing her. He apologizes to Jake as well and says that friendship is about trust. He promised that even though he fumbled this time, he wouldn’t let him down in the future. They shook hands and will eventually be okay, just not yet. As for Unique, Ryder says he won’t pretend to understand, but says “You’re a girl, dude.” Unique says that she got chased home by a group of girls the day before. Ryder, Marley, Jake AND Kitty (who walks in last second) says they will walk her home because they are friends and they have to stick together, especially with Regionals coming up. They say how Artie, Sam, Tina and probably Brittany would be graduating… (What about Joe, Sugar and BLAINE?!), so they have to be their own little group. This felt like a half-assed attempt to set up Season 5. I wasn’t buying it. I also don’t really care enough about any of these 5 characters to make me excited for their chunk of the show next season. Blaine and Sam have been the only characters I care about in Lima (and Burt Hummel, but we haven’t seen much of him this season… which sucks b/c I want to know how he’s doing with his cancer…), so once they’re gone, my attention will likely be gone too.

 

 

Cold Hearted – Santana (who sings it at Brody)

 

Santana has made it her mission in NYC to get Brody away from Rachel and out of the apartment. As much as I love Santana’s newfound loyalty to the person she really couldn’t stand for 3 seasons, I kind of don’t really get it. Perhaps she’s just pissed that Rachel is naïve to believe Brody isn’t the scumbag the rest of us know he is.

 

Santana calls Brody “donkey face” and Rachel says that he said he has a side job as a cater/waiter. (Yeah… he “caters” to older ladies needs.) Santana tells her she needs to stop and focus and how this is not the Rachel Berry she went to school with. While Brody is in the shower, Santana steals his pager.

 

Later, Auntie Snix goes to NYADA and confronts Brody. He calls her loud and rude and says she’s all talk. She says she’s a hardcore friend and then oozes sex as she gets her Paula Abdul on. (At this point in the show I wrote “Can Naya just sing all the songs?” in my notes.)

 

Santana gets back to the apartment later and tells her roommates that she got a job tending bar at a Coyote Ugly place (um… she’s underage. How does a 19-year-old tend bar?). Rachel and Kurt ask to speak with her and they said she just can’t up and go to NYADA and do that because that’s where they go to school. They ask her to move out and that does not sit well with Santana b/c she considers them her family and she has love for them. She leaves, though, saying she’ll move in with Lena Dunham. She takes Rachel’s blanket and Kurt’s pillow (“Bitch took my pillow.”) and exits the apartment.

 

Toward the very end of the episode, Brody goes into a hotel room to find Santana waiting for him. She reveals that Finn is there with her and she leaves the two of them alone. Finn is livid and tells Brody to disappear from Rachel’s life forever. Brody says he loves Rachel (ew – no you don’t) and the two of them start fighting. Finn is Hulk-angry and they break a bunch of furniture before Finn growls “Stay away from my future wife.” He then kicks a table on his way out.

 

(Personal note – I think it’s wrong for the two of them to be fighting over Rachel like she’s some piece of property. Shouldn’t she get a say of who she loves/wants to be with? While the lesser of the two evils would be Finn, if she wants to be dumb and stick with Brody, that’s her prerogative. Also – Finn going ape-shit on Brody is not great. Finn is a violent person – as you will see in another song chunk of re-cap – and it makes you wonder if he would ever hit a girl or a kid, or something/someone that shouldn’t be hit.)

 

 

Bye Bye Bye/I Want It That Way – Will vs. Finn (w/the New Directions boys claiming neutrality of Switzerland)

 

Tina, Artie and Blaine sat Will and Finn down in the choir room to tell them that Will has been extra mean to Finn (bossing him around to get coffee, praising Ryder when really Ryder is just Finn 2.0, etc…) and Finn has been losing his mind (he kicked a music stand… of course). Blaine writes “Feuds” on the whiteboard and tells the two older men that they have to stop it. The three seniors give Will and Finn the assignment to sing songs from feuding artists and that they need to make up and be on the same page/team for Regionals.

 

The two men have a chat in the auditorium later and they try to discuss what they are going to sing. Will ends up lashing out at Finn, saying that he only gave him control of the Glee club b/c he took pity on him and was trying to get Finn back on his feet. Will said he felt betrayed by what Finn did (kiss Emma) and said that Finn broke the code of the brother.

 

So, what do these two oh-so-manly men decide to sing for their Feud songs? Will channels NSYNC (with the help of Blaine and Jake) as they sing “Bye Bye Bye” complete w/marionette strings while Finn (with the help of Artie, Ryder and Sam) take on the Backstreet Boys CLASSIS, “I Want It That Way.”

 

I was DYING during this song because I love NSYNC and BSB so much and always will and it was beyond amazing to see some classic boyband moves. With heaps of bias, I loved seeing Darren on Team Bye Bye Bye because it was fun to watch him dance and do tricks with the strings.

 

The sequence itself, though, made little sense. The boyband singing/dancing was juxtaposed with Will and Finn fighting each other on stage, and then them hugging. HOWEVER, when the song was over and Sam suggested the men to hug it out, Will said he couldn’t. Finn said that he understood there was nothing he could do to get Will’s trust back.

 

Later, Finn is in his office packing up his stuff. Marley comes in and gives him a Thank You card and asks what’s next for him. He says he doesn’t know, so she tells him to grow a pair and forget about Mr. Schue and that Mr. Schue does not define him. Finn disagrees and said that Will and McKinley do define him, so Marley gives him a decent pep talk saying that he’s a natural leader and would make a great teacher. She encourages him to get a teaching degree.

 

(And then, as I mentioned before, Will beats Brody up in a hotel room…)

 

We know from (SPOILERS) that Finn does decide to go to college for teaching. I’m interested in how that will play out, I guess. I don’t hate Finn this season (except when he’s pining after Rachel and kicking/punching things). It’d be nice to see him feel good about himself again.

 

 

I Still Believe/Super Bass – Blaine vs. Sue

 

Oh, Blainers.

 

Blaine’s in Sue’s office where she tells him he’s been slacking on his Cheerios commitment and that he was only a Cheerio from Dec 5-Dec 6. Blaine explains that that was because of glee club, but he was done being a Cheerio. She counters that he – Blaine Devon Anderson – signed a contract stating that he would be available for Cheerios duties when she needed him. The signature is a forgery and he doesn’t want to be on Cheerios. Sue says that if he doesn’t rejoin, something unfortunate would happen to him extremely soon. He asks if she’s threatening him and we all know she is.

 

Later in the episode, Sue makes his life a little less dapper. She gives him some sort of cement instead of hair gel, takes out a bunch of credit cards in his name and ruins his parents’ credit (it’d be awesome if we ever got to see said parents…) and then she hired a plane with a banner that read “Blaine is on the bottom.” At that, Blaine says “that’s not true – not really,” which give Klainer’s some background information into some personal matters… for reasons. He calls what she is doing “inexcusable” and this is the most fired up we’ve seen Blaine ever – especially at an adult. Sue challenges him to a Mariah Carey/Nicki Minaj sing-off and says that if she wins, he has to join Cheerios.

 

When it’s time for the sing-off, Blaine (in his cute little red cardigan) gets up and sings “I Still Believe” and it’s adorable and one-man boybandish. But then Sue – in full Minaj getup – and her Cheerios/black lights/feathers knock out “Super Bass” and it’s easy to see that Blainers is not going to come out of this the victor. In a last-ditch effort, he jumps up on the little stage in the choir room and tries to sing that he still believes, but you can see his hope fading fast (you know.. that point in the song that goes “I had a dream” instead of “I still believe…”). At one point, Sue shoves him off the stage (which I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to do to a student). And, when only Tina votes for Blaine over Sue, we know that Cheerio!Blaine is back.

 

Speaking of Cheerio!Blaine, we were blessed with several close ups of the boy in uniform and his ass was made for those horrible poly-blend, but blissfully tight, pants. He is made co-captain with Becky (and she kisses him on the lips…) along with being told that this is the real world and real world has commitments. She asks if he’s committed to being a Cheerio and he says Yes. She then tosses him a thong and tells him to wear that to avoid VPLs.

 

You’d think Blainers would be defeated, but the kid had a smile on his face as he walked down the hall – thong in hand – and meets up with Sam. Turns out my favorite dynamic duo (BLAM!) made a plan to take down Sue Sylvester with Blaine working from the inside. (In my head canon, this scheme was hatched over the two of them having a comic book movie marathon the night that Blaine lost the sing-off… Sam suggested that they use this shitty situation to their advantage and then Blaine got excited about being able to do something good while on the Cheerios even though he already had so much on his plate.)

 

So, I’m looking forward to Blam taking Sue down and Blaine in those pants (and a cheer routine? That’d be a waste of talent and plot if they don’t let Blaine do at least one routine… I mean, even Kurt got to do 4 Minutes…).

 

 

Closer – New Directions (no Feuds here…)

 

At the end of the episode, all of the New Directions (minus Sugar and Joe who weren’t in the episode) sang this song. It was nice to see Blaine and Marley playing keyboard. The song was up-tempo… I really don’t have much more to add than that. (I don’t even know who Tegan and Sara are… #sorrynotsorry).

 

So, yeah. That was the show. It wasn’t great, but there were moments of okay.

 

I am looking forward to next week’s theme of “Guilty Pleasures.” I love all the songs they will be singing and I’m not ashamed to admit it. PLUS, we get the “Blaine has/had a crush on Sam” talk that we were supposed to get episodes ago. (FINALLY.) Oh, and Kurt has a boyfriend pillow.

 

I just want all the Blam, okay? They’re the best part of the show.

 

Thoughts? Favorite songs? Did you think this episode was uncommonly violent?

 

 

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