August 2013

I had an interview in Brooklyn this morning.

That’s the fourth time in a month that I’ve been to that borough in a month and every time I go, I think about Spot Conlon.

The truth is, I think about Newsies a lot (more) now that I live in NYC. It kind of can’t be helped. I have watched that movie more times than one should admit and I listen to the soundtracks often. (I’ve only seen the Broadway show once, but it’s not going anywhere any time soon, so I’m sure at some point I’ll see it again.) I just find it extremely hilarious that I live in New York and that I know where they are talking about when different areas of the city/surrounding area are mentioned.

I often laugh about the fact that I live here because I still can’t believe that that is a real thing.

I can see the skyline any time I want. I just have to walk up the block and turn left and BAM – there is the Empire State Building. It’s just, like, RIGHT THERE.

Last night I went to a Mets/Phillies game at Citi Field with a friend from high school. She’s lived here for seven years and I’ve lived here for one. We talked about acclimating to the city and about where we see ourselves in the future. She’s looking to get out of here, while I honestly can’t see myself anywhere else. I mean, I still have no idea what I’m going to be doing in the future, but NYC has always been the city for me (even though I hate cities…).

I like it here. No, scratch that, I love it here. Broadway is here. Central Park is here. Memories are here. More memories will be made here.

I walked through a movie shoot today. (It looked extremely low budget, so I’ll assume it was a student film b/c I didn’t see signs that are normally hanging for television and film shoots.) I sat on a park bench in Brooklyn and looked out over the East River while I read a story on my phone. I take subways and am not scared to do so. When I have money, I’ll go to movies or shows by myself. I curse at cars. I feel like I belong because there really isn’t any certain way to fit in.

It’s kinda great.

After my interview, I went back to my neighborhood to go to the grocery store because it was that time of week. It was raining before I got there and was still raining when I left, but I opted to walk home without my umbrella. (I had one in my purse, but I let it stay there.) I smiled to myself as I walked in the rain even though I’ve had a rocky past couple months. I still don’t know when things are going to get better, but in that moment, I was doing okay even though I was feeling really off.

I didn’t sleep well again last night. (It’s actually just a given that I don’t sleep well.) My alarm was set for 8:00 because my interview was at 11:30, but I woke up at 7:00. It had taken me awhile to get to sleep, so I told myself to rest my eyes for a while longer since I had an hour before I needed to be up. I drifted off and had a horrible dream that I was late for my interview (among other not great things) and woke up again at 7:57. I shut off my alarm before it had a chance to go off and sat there for a second to try and get my eyelids to open without hurting. (They are so heavy, it’s ridiculous.)

I was 45 minutes early for my interview (which is why I went to the park to read… so then I could walk into my interview on time as opposed to being even a minute late). When I was done with the interview, I called my mom and told her about my bad dream and lack of sleep. She’s not surprised I don’t sleep well (like mother, like daughter, basically), but she laughed at my bad dream because I’m never late for anything. (This is true – I’m usually freakishly early to things.)

So, then I ran my errand to the store, walked home in the rain, made some lunch, watched an episode of Parks & Rec while I ate my sandwich, and then laid down and re-read a story I wrote a couple months ago. I decided I should probably do something productive, so I went online to apply for more jobs, but that turned into me writing this blog post. My eyes hurt something awful, but I don’t want to nap because that’ll throw off my already terrible sleeping pattern.

It’s still a little rainy out, so after dinner I might just curl up with a book or maybe pop in a movie. (I’m jonesing for On the Waterfront having spent some time on the waterfront today…) Regardless, I hope to sleep a little better tonight and it would be awesome if my eyelids stopped hurting.

I can’t wait to not feel tired all the time. I have a feeling once I get the whole job thing figured out, I’ll figure out how to sleep again. For now, though, my mind continues to work on overdrive. I accept the things I cannot change.

For now, though, I’ll go check on my chicken. (It’s hot out, but I still use the crockpot… no regrets.)

I hope all is well with you and that your eyelids aren’t quite so heavy 🙂

So, last night I went and saw Katy Perry perform at the VMAs.

Before you ask – NO – I did not get to see any of the rest of the VMAs. Katy performed at a different location than the rest of the broadcast, so we just saw her and that was it.

It was an interesting evening… about 10 minutes of fun after hours of waiting in line and being surrounded by some rude people.

I had “priority” tickets, which basically meant nothing except that we got to jump the line about halfway through waiting in line so we could go wait some more elsewhere. Check in was at 7:30. They told us to get there at 7:00. We got there at 6:22 and there was already a line a block long. So, my friend and I got in line and waited, as we do. (I’m not stranger to waiting in long lines for stuff… it’s kinda what you do when you go to the kind of events I go to.)

At about 7:15, someone finally called out for the priority ticket people to move forward, so we went to the head of the line, got our IDs checked, were forced to throw away our water bottles, and then were ushered to another holding area. We waited there for probably 30 minutes (and were standing behind some kid who would not shut up). From there, we were slowly ushered into another holding area where our bags were searched. Then, we were wanded and asked by that security person if our bags had been searched (um… yes…), and then we were released into this large outdoor room where there were tables set up with free bottles of water, Pepsi and Diet Pepsi. (If you watched the VMAs, you saw that Pepsi was one of the sponsors.) But, even though we were in this HUGE outdoor space, everyone was crowded around this one door area that led to the adjoining room.

We were crammed near this door for another 30 minutes or so. My friend and I were watching the VMA red carpet on a neighboring bystander’s phone and chatted a little with the boyfriends who were standing next to us. (One of them had on this black top with spikes on the shoulders and he looked fierce. He was happy when we told him we were enjoying his shirt.)

As we stood in this area, some people who worked the venue stood up and told everyone that the taping wouldn’t begin until we were all in place, which meant there was no need to run or push because we would all get in.

So, when it was time to move over into the next room, people completely disregarded what the guys had JUST told us and the crowd began to push and shove. It got unnecessarily ugly. My friend and I got separated for a few seconds, but then we grabbed onto each other’s hands and didn’t let go for the next 15 minutes or so until we got to the final spot.

While we were in line, we inched forward and I was not surprised that people were still trying to push and shove. Some girl’s purse got “stolen” (when, honestly, I think it probably just got pulled off her arm in the rush and likely fell to the ground… we were in a contained area surrounded by security and cops, so I doubt it was actually stolen).

After walking through this poorly set up maze of barricades (hands still tightly clasped with my friend because we were not about to get separated again in that crowd), we were ushered onto this grassy field by a stage that was already set up.

The weather was GORGEOUS and we were right on the water and the city and Brooklyn Bridge were all lit up. So, it was really neat to just be outside and enjoy the cool breeze and our beautiful city.

We stood around some more. Some guy had a kid up on his shoulders and people were yelling for them to set the kid down b/c he was blocking peoples’ view. The kid was eventually placed on the ground. But, like, a minute later, this guy hoisted an adult woman (likely early 20s) onto his shoulders and the crowd yelled for her to get down as well. She looked around and shrugged like she was someone special, but more people booed and yelled at her, so she was finally put back on the ground. People then cheered.

What I didn’t get was how she thought she could be in peoples’ way like that when just moments earlier they yelled at a CHILD for being in the way. You are not a special snowflake, young woman… so get off your boyfriend’s shoulders and stand like the rest of us.

Finally, someone came out and had us practice being loud. It was really a waste because as soon as Katy came out, people were too busy taking pictures and videos that no one was clapping or singing along.

I admit, I took some pictures too. And since I had an empty Diet Pepsi bottle in my hand, I couldn’t clap much either. But, I did “woooooo” a bit and definitely sang along.

Once Katy was done, she left the stage and we were told that they were going to film it again. (Yep – what you saw on the show was definitely not live.) So, I put my phone away and tried to just enjoy the second performance. Before the song started, Katy explained that they were going to film it again because they could and she told people to sing along with her. (To be honest, it was hard to hear her when she was actually singing… but the chorus was easy to pick out.)

So, we watched her sing again and I sang a little bit louder because I like “Roar” and because I could. I still had my Diet Pepsi bottle in hand, so I kind of used it as a microphone (as I do) while I was singing along in the crowd.

Once the second performance wrapped, Katy thanked everyone and said some nice words to the crowd before leaving the stage.

And that was is.

My friend and I hung around for a few minutes to take some pictures (because we could) and then we schlepped it back to Queens.

I stopped by the CVS to pick up an Anniversary card for my parents (32 years on August 29th!) and then called my sister as I trekked home in my painful footwear (I will never again wear my cowboy boots for that long of a time… my feet are killing me.).

My sister gave me a rundown of the VMAs as I walked and she talked. She told me about the horrible Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke trainwreck (which I haven’t watched, but I’ve seen reaction pictures from people… yikes) and how great the Justin Timberlake medley was (which I totally DID watch and thought was amazing… I was so excited for NSYNC and wish that their part was longer, but my smiles hurt as I BEAMED while watching them perform “Girlfriend” and “Bye Bye Bye”… dear Lord, I love me some NSYNC/boy bands). I still need to watch Gaga’s performance and Bruno Mars. I can probably skip everything else.

I am bonkers tired.

I got home after 11, but then watched the JT stuff (did you see Kenny Wormald dancing backup right behind him during “SexyBack”?!?!?!?!). I was awake from the Katy Perry stuff, so I read for a bit, but then didn’t fall asleep until around 3:30am. I woke up at 9:00, but I feel kinda awful. I applied for a job, sent an email to a temp agency I was supposed to hear back from, and made a huge list of things I need to do over the next couple days (call another temp agency, edit an article I wrote for FFE, write this blog post, apply for more jobs, etc…). I really just want to sleep for a long time, but applying for jobs is more important at this point. (Especially since I can’t really sleep anyway since I’m so stressed about finding a job. It’s a vicious cycle.)

So, yeah… that was my Sunday night/Monday morning thus far.

I hope your week is starting off well 🙂

My view of the stage during Katy Perry's first performance of "Roar" at Brooklyn's Tobacco Warehouse.

My view of the stage during Katy Perry’s first performance of “Roar” at Brooklyn’s Tobacco Warehouse.

Don’t get too excited, I’m only 1700 words in… but that is 1000 more words further along than I was a couple hours ago. Progress!

I started writing my book months ago, but had only gotten about a page in before I put it on the backburner. It should probably still be on the backburner until I get a job, but I had some free time this evening and there weren’t any new jobs posted on the sites I use (as it is Saturday and some sites only post Monday-Friday…), so I thought I would try and get some more done.

(Job hunt update – I’m still unemployed. I have applied for 112 jobs since July 1st. We are past the point of “soul crushing.” Now there just seem to be a lot of tears – or at least the threat of them – at random points during the day. Two days ago I almost lost it while walking home from the grocery store. But I didn’t – WOOOOOOOOOT! Progress!)

So, I’m busy with applying for jobs and going to interviews by day, but by night I’m trying to get other productive stuff done. I’ve been reading a lot more. I mean, I read a lot anyway (every morning during breakfast and every night before I go to bed, at the very least), but now I’m really trying to focus on reading stuff within the same genre of the book I’m writing. The library I went to the other day only had two of the books on my list, so I’ll be trying to track down the others that I thought would be good reads/helpful to get a feel for what is getting published.

I love typing, but I really wish there was a way that I could just tell the story out loud and it magically type itself. I have my whole book planned out in my head (and have a pretty kick ass outline, if I do say so myself), but it would be much easier/faster if I could just talk at my computer instead of type. (And I type fast… like, around 70 WPM fast. But it’s still slow going when I’m trying to get out all the exposition and set up my characters. The protagonist and his mom will be the focus of the first chapter, but then I need to introduce the uncle and his family, along with the protagonist’s eventual love interest and then their peers/antagonists.

While I know this will take longer for me to write than previous stuff I’ve written, I have a feeling this could be something worth while. To my knowledge, there aren’t (m)any books out there with what I’m planning to write. I feel there is a market for it, though. SO, we shall see. I just have to finish writing it!

I might set aside the typing until tomorrow and try and finish the book I’m reading. (I reaaalllllllly want to know what happens and I’m 3/4 done.) Also, I need to figure out an outfit for when I go see Katy Perry tomorrow night.

Have a good one 🙂


So, I’m killing time trying to charge my phone. I should probably be writing, but instead I’m posting on here. (Which, I guess this is technically “writing,” but it’s definitely not me working on my script. I’m on page 73. And I’m stalling because I don’t want to screw up the next scene… so instead of actually writing it out, I’m mulling it over in my head for the bajillionth time.)

I could probably also be watching something while I charge my phone. Last night I watched a few episodes of American Dreams. (REMEMBER THAT SHOW?!) Today I watched 500 Days of Summer and The Dukes of Hazzard. I’ve been in an odd mood… not good or bad, just odd. Hence why I watched the most random assortment of things over the past couple days. 

Right now I’m listening to my “Glee Cast” radio station on some app I downloaded. They hardly play any actual Glee music on said station, but there is a lot of fun., Taylor Swift, One Direction and Demi Lovato, so I am content. (Right now “Some Nights” is fading out… I predict a Glee song or a One Direction song will be next. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd… “Live While We’re Young” from One Direction just started playing. YEEEEEES. Um, I kind of love One Direction. Go ahead and judge.)

To be honest, not much has been happening. I have a few interviews this week. (I had a few interviews each week for the past several weeks, but I haven’t mentioned them on here because I don’t want to get our hopes up.) I also have tickets to see Katy Perry on Sunday.


Yeah… somehow I ended up with Priority tickets to go see Katy Perry’s performance at the VMAs. She’s performing at a different venue, so I won’t actually get to see the VMAs, but if all goes right, I’ll get to see Katy Perry. And *that* should definitely be wildly entertaining. I very much dig her new song, “Roar,” so it will be fun to see her perform in person. I’m sure it’ll be a spectacle.

What else, what else…

Oh, I went out on Friday night with a friend and got hit on a bunch of times. That was an interesting experience.

For the record, I don’t get hit on. Ever. (Or, I should say “once in a blue moon.” I definitely got hit on when I went and saw HP7 Part II. That is a long story for another time.)

So, yeah. I rarely get hit on. It’s a combination of I don’t put myself in situations where I would get hit on in addition to me not presenting myself as eye candy.

But, Friday night I was at a restaurant/bar and I had decided to dress up a little bit since I had spent most of the week in gym shorts and t-shirts. So, I wore some low wedge shoes, tight maroon skinny jeans, a gray cardigan and a brown top that showed some cleavage. 

This was the fourth time I’ve ever worn that top. I will choose very carefully the next time I wear it because when I do wear it, men’s eyes go straight for my chest before they even bother to look me in the eye.

It is not a secret that I have huge boobs. However, usually I keep them fully covered at all times. I guess showing the tops of them to people via a low cut top is an open invitation for men to stare at/down the front of my shirt.

At this restaurant/bar, I was hit on by five guys. Three of them (two servers and a bartender) got away with looking at/down my shirt because I was looking at a menu. (My friend informed me after each time.) Two of them (another bartender and a guy sitting at the bar) had the audacity to stare at my goods while we were mid-conversation. All of these men ended up talking to me for one reason or another (four of them were working as servers/bartenders, but three of them made legit conversation), so at least they didn’t just look and keep going. A couple of them purposefully touched my back or arm or waist while we were talking (most noticeably the handsy guy I was sitting next to at the bar… man, he just went for it).

The attention was a little flattering, but mostly it was weird and made me antsy. I’ve shared on here before that I’ve been subject to unwanted touching from strangers in the past (for you newcomers, I got felt up by a costumed character at EPCOT when I was 15 and then after college an older delivery man would corner me and touch my arms and back while I was working at my office). So, having strangers eyeballing my chest and flirting with me and touching me was actually a little unsettling. As much as I want guys to pay attention to me, I want them to pay attention to ME and not fixate on my boobs. There is still something in the back of my mind that worries that some other stranger is going to just reach out and touch me (or worse) because he thinks that he can.

God, I am a mess.

I mean, I’m pretty sure at the rate I’m going, I’m going to have trust issues for a long while. (I should probably Google ways to move past this. I mean, it’s been almost 15 years now.) 

Don’t get me wrong – I’m more than okay around people I know and am friends with. It’s just I am still not great around strangers. I’m trying. (I’ve met a lot of new people since moving here and I think I act like a “normal” person around them.) But having a tipsy stranger guy stare at my chest and then put his hand on my arm and waist within a minute of meeting me was a little uncomfortable. (But, I was with a friend and there were enough people around that I could have stopped him if anything got out of hand.) 

I’m trying to function like an adult. I’ll be 30 in a few months and I’m pretty sure I’m the only person among my peer group who internally freaks out about social situations like this. Like, I want to meet people/guys… I just need to figure out a way to not assume that every stranger guy is going to attack me somehow.

My, I went on a tangent, didn’t I?

Well… my phone is 97% charged. I guess this means I can probably shut off my computer and put on a movie or read or something. 

Have a good one!

Guess who FINALLY got an NYC library card?

So, I immediately checked out three books, one being John Green’s “Looking for Alaska.” (After reading “The Fault in Our Stars,” I decided I very much enjoy his writing style and plan to read all his other books. This was the only one at the library at the time.)

As I had a couple writing projects I had to get done, it took me two days to read all 221 pages of “Looking for Alaska.” A friend told me she sobbed while she read the book. As I knew the gist of the book heading into it, I quickly picked up on the foreshadowing and correctly guessed the climax of the story. My main focus became how the major characters dealt with (or didn’t deal with) what happened and I found myself getting really angry. I was angry at the characters and I was angry with myself.


So, the book is about this teenager named Miles who goes to a coed boarding school in Alabama for his junior year. There, he is roommates with a short, but authoritative boy named Chip (aka “The Colonel”) and he befriends and becomes very attracted to Alaska (a girl who smokes and loves her boyfriend, Jake).

All of these teens and their immediate peer group have not been dealt the greatest hands. Miles had no friends back in his hometown. The Colonel’s dad left him and his mom. Alaska watched her mom die. Though they have their problems, together they make a little rag-tag team/family and even though things aren’t great, at least they don’t suck so much.

Until they do.

One of the characters dies part way through the book. Even if I didn’t know the plot going in, there is an actual countdown happening as you read (instead of chapter heads, sections of the book are labeled “eighty-four days before” or “two days before” and then after it happens, sections are labeled “seven days after,” etc) as well as obvious foreshadowing.

Similar to reading “The Fault in the Stars,” I was placed in the position of knowing what was going to happen to these teenagers and realizing way before they did that their lives were going to get upturned in the worst way possible.

After the character dies, the others are faced with finding out about said death, and then taking it upon themselves to deal with it and piece together what happened to cause the death. Was it an accident? Was it suicide?

As Miles is the protagonist of the story, I don’t think it’s spoiling much to say that he is not the one who dies. However, he takes the death very, very personally… and in his grief, he keeps blaming himself and making the whole situation about him even though he was only a very tiny part of the whole. I would get angry at Miles for acting so selfishly, but then be grateful when other characters would call him out on it.

I realized, though, that as much as I was angry with Miles, I was also angry with myself – because I could identify with him. I thought his actions were unbecoming, but felt worse when I saw myself in him and wished I didn’t.

It’s an odd thing, reading about a fictional character who shares similar traits with yourself or people you know. I try not to be selfish all the time, but I know sometimes I fail spectacularly. So, when Miles was going on and on and on about how the other character couldn’t have committed suicide because he himself was promised a continuation of a personal activity with the other character, I found myself telling him “Stop it. This is not about you.” But then I put the book down and realized I’ve done that too. (And here I am again… making this all about me. But, it’s my blog, so I think I’m kind of entitled to that.)

While reading, there were many lines from the book that stuck out, but I actually wrote one of them down. It’s from when Miles is letting off some steam and yelling at the person who has died. He said:

“You can’t just make me different and then leave.”

I thought this was as profound as it was selfish.

I mean, think about it… someone came into his life and made him a different person than who he was before meeting said someone. And then that someone was gone – never to return again. But Miles is still there… and he’s a changed person. But he’s a changed person because of that someone. But with that someone gone, will Miles remain the same changed person, or will he go back to who he was, or will he change again?

“You can’t just make me different and then leave.”

This line made me angry and sad all at the same time because it very simply states something I know I’ve always wanted to tell people who have fallen out of my life. It both acknowledges that the other person had a big enough effect on you to change you in some way and places blame on them at the same time. It’s a demand that can never be adhered to if the other person is already gone for good, or it’s a plea for someone who is still right there but on the verge of disappearing for now or for good. It’s a damn good sentence, that’s for sure.

John Green is going to ruin my life in the best way possible. Though his books are about people much younger than I, their stories are relatable and his words hit hard and deep. I aspire to write like that.

So, I think it took me a little over two days to watch all 13 episodes of Season 1 of the Netflix original series Orange is the New Black. (Yes, even us unemployed people are busy and it takes more than a day to watch 13 hours of television…)

I really enjoyed this show and need Season 2 now.

(Spoilers ahead)

This show has a lot of things going for it. As I said in my post the other day, it centers around a female protagonist at an all-female prison. SO MANY LADY CHARACTERS!

Yeah, I ALL-CAPSed that because how many other shows can you name that feature that many women? And how many of those lady-centric shows have such a diverse cast of characters in all shapes, sizes and skin tones?

Yeah… that’s what I thought.

Orange is the New Black is different in that it not only features such a wide array of female characters, but that it features them at their worst.

Because the show is set in a prison, the audience must assume that each inmate was convicted of a crime bad enough to warrant a lengthy prison sentence. (Chapman is in for 13 or 14 months, but some of those other ladies have been in for years and still have years left to go.)

I love that each episode features the backstory of at least one inmate. It is beyond fascinating to see how each woman acted on the outside/in her youth and what lead up to her arrest.

There are some women we haven’t found out about yet and I can only hope we get to see their backstories next season. There are so many characters I adore (Taystee and Poussey, especially), but there are also a couple that terrify me… most specifically Pennsatucky.

Holy hell, that girl is scary.

Taryn Manning plays Pennsatucky with this completely horrifying look in her eye. This backwoods girl is in prison because she shot a person in the abortion clinic because said person commented that Pennsatucky was back for her fifth abortion and that she should have a punch card to get her sixth one free. Pennsatucky then went out to the truck, grabbed a shotgun and then walked back into the clinic and shot the woman who spoke down to her. Pennsatucky was then heralded as a hero among the Jesus-centric crowd who thought she shot the woman for religious reasons whereas she really just shot her because she insulted her. From then on, Pennsatucky believed herself to be a woman of Christ and preached His word to anyone who would listen and would force it on those who wouldn’t.

Though Pennsatucky didn’t show up until mid-season, she ended up being Chapman’s biggest antagonist (besides OC Healy… oh, I dislike him!) by the end of the 13 episodes. Pennsatucky sets out to kill Chapman and the season ends with the two of them fighting out in the courtyard with one of them getting the crap beat out of her. There was a lot of punching and a lot of blood. Since the show centers around Chapman’s story (and because this is all based on an actual woman who went to prison and said woman is a consultant on the show…), you can guess whose blood is spattered in the snow. I just hope Pennsatucky is still around for Season 2 because she is such a great character. Scary… but great.

My favorite character on the show is still OC Bennett (Matt McGorry). He’s in love with Daya and she’s pregnant with his baby, but she had sex with Pornstache/Mendez to keep Bennett’s job safe. Mendez got caught and suspended from his job, but he’s in love with Daya and thinks that she’s going to wait for him, when in reality she is in love with Bennett and has no intentions of being with Mendez. It is all sorts of drama and it is going to be very entertaining next season if Mendez ever gets wind of Daya/Bennett’s relationship. Mendez is a scary guy and I can’t imagine he would be anything except maniacal if he finds out the truth and how he was framed.

The love triangle between Chapman, Vause and Larry is my least favorite aspect of the show because I’m more fascinated by the supporting characters (and I’m just not a huge fan of Laura Prepon or Jason Biggs…). But, it helps drive the story and I will gladly tolerate it so long as I get to find out more about the other ladies in the Litchfield prison.

I read somewhere that this show is a comedy. I don’t believe that in the slightest – it’s definitely a drama with aspects of comedy in it. It’s definitely not a laugh-out-loud all the time kind of show. These women are in prison. There is harassment. There are fights. There is death. It’s not funny – it’s life. Life in prison. (Or a few years, I guess… depending on one’s sentence.)

Go ahead and judge. I know I’m a month or so behind the rest of society, but I finally started watching Orange is the New Black.

I love it.

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a show that features so many sizes, shapes and skin tones of WOMEN. Yes, this lady-centric show has characters that are thin, chubby, white, black, tan, tall, short, tiny, large, sassy, shy, loud, quiet, honest, crooked, devious and then some. Though the lead character (Piper Chapman) is a skinny, blondeish (thanks, highlights) WASP, she is surrounded by so many different-looking women and I seriously dig that.

However, even though it’s great to see all these females in one show, my favorite character so far is OC Bennett. I’m only seven episodes in, but as of right now, he’s the most morally centered character. At this point in the show we know absolutely nothing about who he is or where he comes from except that he (1) Does not like being forced to act like a dick, (2) is mostly soft-spoken, (3) is adorable and (4) has a prosthetic leg. He is the complete opposite of “Pornstache” Mendez (oh, Pablo Schreiber, how I love thee…) and has painfully obvious heart eyes for one of the inmates. I can’t imagine that this will end well for Bennett, but I know that I smile every time he’s on screen – especially when he’s acting all winsome.

I like the structure of each episode. While the main plot always centers around Chapman, the writers also focus on another inmate and give a little bit of her backstory and how she came to end up in prison. Their crimes have all been different thus far, and yet they ended up the same place.

Orange is the New Black has been helping me put some stuff into perspective – mostly in that even though my life is really not awesome right now, at least I’m not in prison.

This show is a Netflix original and you can watch all of Season 1 at your leisure through Instant Streaming 🙂

Oh my goodness.

Have you seen the new Mumford & Sons video for “Hopeless Wanderer”?!?!?!?!?!

Watch it. Then watch it again. Then watch it AGAIN. (And again, and again and again.)

I have probably watched this video at least 10 times in the last 24 hours and I laugh just as hard every time. There are just so many brilliant things about this video. The song is amazing on its own, but the video is a combination of ridiculousness and spot-on self-deprecation. Props to whoever came up with the concept, because this was GENIUS.

The frantic strumming of guitars and banjos was portrayed exactly how I think of these songs in my head when I hear them… and then the overacting and passionate playing was performed with such mastery by four of the finest comedic actors of our time. This video is perfection – the wardrobe, the earrings in Sudeikis’s ear, the instruments, the kissing, the grinding, the EVERYTHING.


I’ve lived in New York City for an entire year and I’m really proud of myself.

This has definitely been a challenging year, having never really lived on my own before. (I don’t really count undergrad because even though I lived in a single for all four years, I still spent all my vacations and breaks at home with my parents and was definitely not self-sufficient. One could argue I’m still not entirely self-sufficient now, as my parents still pay for my phone… but still.) I moved in with two complete strangers and had no one to answer to but myself.

I don’t know what I thought my life would be like after living here for a year. I guess I thought I would have figured everything out by now – but that is obviously not the case.

I have learned a lot about myself, but I know I still have a ways to go in that department. I’m actually a lot stronger than I usually give myself credit for, though I have also found that the walls I have built up over the years aren’t as solid as I pretend them to be. Vulnerability is not always a bad thing, and I keep having to remind myself of that.

Though I have been here for a year, I very much am still trying to find my place. I’m working really hard toward earning a career in something that means something. It’d be nice to earn a paycheck doing something I love.

In the meantime, I’ve been working on getting better at something I have grown to love – writing. This hasn’t earned me much money by any means, but it’s something I really enjoy doing. (This is actually hilarious on multiple levels because I HATED writing when I was younger because people told me I wrote poorly. But I worked at it and got a short script produced in college and have been freelance writing since 2007.)

I’m in the middle of writing two screenplays and started writing a book. Some friends know that I have worked on some side writing projects… stuff I post anonymously on a few websites to see if people like what I have to say (well, write). In the past year, I’ve written four near novel-length entities (50k-62k words) and six short stories (ranging from 3k-11k words). As of this morning, they’ve gotten 74,370 hits/views. Those numbers aren’t quite as high as some of the other people writing similar-themed stories, but I’m pleased that anyone read what I wrote, let alone thousands of people! My writing has definitely improved and it’s encouraging for when I sit down and actually work on stuff that could maybe one day be published. (I’m trying to finish this script I’m working on, and then I will be focusing solely on my novel. I’m a few pages into Chapter 1, though I have a really great outline to work from.)

I’m proud that I have one year of NYC living under my belt. I really, really hope that the next year goes even better.

I just got done watching the rerun of Glee from last season – they re-aired “Girls (and Boys) On Film” after showing a super brief montage/dedication to Cory Monteith.

I thought I was ready to watch Glee again… I realized I actually wasn’t.

I watched anyway.

Though I didn’t cry, I found my heart hurt and I actually was holding my breath. I didn’t realize that until I almost choked out the air I was holding in, lungs desperate for oxygen after the “Glee” title card passed and Will and Emma were part way through their opening song.

Season 5 of Glee airs on September 26th. We’ve been told that the first two episodes will be Beatles episodes and then the third episode will deal with Cory Monteith’s/Finn Hudson’s tragic early departure from the show.

I only just realized as I was watching the show tonight – no one in the Glee world knows that Finn is not going to make it past the third episode of the season. It’s the worst kind of irony, knowing that one of our beloved characters (played by one of our beloved actors on the show) will no longer be there. Kurt will go through two episodes not knowing he will no longer have his stepbrother. Rachel will go through two episodes not knowing she will no longer have her soul mate. Carol will lose her only biological son. Burt will lose a stepson. All those kids and Will will lose a friend.

And we, the audience, will have to watch it happen.

I understand that the first two episodes were already written and that by making the third episode the one surrounding the loss of Cory, the writers have more time to make sure they honor both Cory and Finn properly… but it’s also horrendously cruel for everyone involved (cast, crew and audience) to go through the first two episodes like everything is fine when in reality, everything is not fine. Everything still hurts. Everything will continue to hurt for a long, long time.

The show must go on, but it’s going to be very difficult to watch this season – these first three episodes, especially. If the audience is feeling this way, I cannot imagine what the cast and crew are going through as they start filming.

My thoughts continue to go out to Cory’s family, friends, colleagues, and the rest of the fandom. We need to keep sticking together.

[And – selfishly – the icing on the already terrible cake of tonight’s rerun was the Klaine duet of “Come What May.” Too many feels. Our boys are still apart and that STUPID cliffhanger didn’t do anything to help it. We want Klaine back together as boyfriends… they aren’t ready to be engaged or married. (Darren and Chris feel the same way, apparently, at least according to this interview Darren did over the summer – relevant part starts at 1:15. He said he and Chris were not supportive of a teen marriage plot line at all)]