I had an interview in Brooklyn this morning.

That’s the fourth time in a month that I’ve been to that borough in a month and every time I go, I think about Spot Conlon.

The truth is, I think about Newsies a lot (more) now that I live in NYC. It kind of can’t be helped. I have watched that movie more times than one should admit and I listen to the soundtracks often. (I’ve only seen the Broadway show once, but it’s not going anywhere any time soon, so I’m sure at some point I’ll see it again.) I just find it extremely hilarious that I live in New York and that I know where they are talking about when different areas of the city/surrounding area are mentioned.

I often laugh about the fact that I live here because I still can’t believe that that is a real thing.

I can see the skyline any time I want. I just have to walk up the block and turn left and BAM – there is the Empire State Building. It’s just, like, RIGHT THERE.

Last night I went to a Mets/Phillies game at Citi Field with a friend from high school. She’s lived here for seven years and I’ve lived here for one. We talked about acclimating to the city and about where we see ourselves in the future. She’s looking to get out of here, while I honestly can’t see myself anywhere else. I mean, I still have no idea what I’m going to be doing in the future, but NYC has always been the city for me (even though I hate cities…).

I like it here. No, scratch that, I love it here. Broadway is here. Central Park is here. Memories are here. More memories will be made here.

I walked through a movie shoot today. (It looked extremely low budget, so I’ll assume it was a student film b/c I didn’t see signs that are normally hanging for television and film shoots.) I sat on a park bench in Brooklyn and looked out over the East River while I read a story on my phone. I take subways and am not scared to do so. When I have money, I’ll go to movies or shows by myself. I curse at cars. I feel like I belong because there really isn’t any certain way to fit in.

It’s kinda great.

After my interview, I went back to my neighborhood to go to the grocery store because it was that time of week. It was raining before I got there and was still raining when I left, but I opted to walk home without my umbrella. (I had one in my purse, but I let it stay there.) I smiled to myself as I walked in the rain even though I’ve had a rocky past couple months. I still don’t know when things are going to get better, but in that moment, I was doing okay even though I was feeling really off.

I didn’t sleep well again last night. (It’s actually just a given that I don’t sleep well.) My alarm was set for 8:00 because my interview was at 11:30, but I woke up at 7:00. It had taken me awhile to get to sleep, so I told myself to rest my eyes for a while longer since I had an hour before I needed to be up. I drifted off and had a horrible dream that I was late for my interview (among other not great things) and woke up again at 7:57. I shut off my alarm before it had a chance to go off and sat there for a second to try and get my eyelids to open without hurting. (They are so heavy, it’s ridiculous.)

I was 45 minutes early for my interview (which is why I went to the park to read… so then I could walk into my interview on time as opposed to being even a minute late). When I was done with the interview, I called my mom and told her about my bad dream and lack of sleep. She’s not surprised I don’t sleep well (like mother, like daughter, basically), but she laughed at my bad dream because I’m never late for anything. (This is true – I’m usually freakishly early to things.)

So, then I ran my errand to the store, walked home in the rain, made some lunch, watched an episode of Parks & Rec while I ate my sandwich, and then laid down and re-read a story I wrote a couple months ago. I decided I should probably do something productive, so I went online to apply for more jobs, but that turned into me writing this blog post. My eyes hurt something awful, but I don’t want to nap because that’ll throw off my already terrible sleeping pattern.

It’s still a little rainy out, so after dinner I might just curl up with a book or maybe pop in a movie. (I’m jonesing for On the Waterfront having spent some time on the waterfront today…) Regardless, I hope to sleep a little better tonight and it would be awesome if my eyelids stopped hurting.

I can’t wait to not feel tired all the time. I have a feeling once I get the whole job thing figured out, I’ll figure out how to sleep again. For now, though, my mind continues to work on overdrive. I accept the things I cannot change.

For now, though, I’ll go check on my chicken. (It’s hot out, but I still use the crockpot… no regrets.)

I hope all is well with you and that your eyelids aren’t quite so heavy 🙂