So… today in my epic quest to find an apartment in NYC, I had not one, not two, but THREE blasts from the past. As in, grade-school past.

I FB messaged all of the people I know who live in NYC. And to be honest, most of these people I haven’t spoken to in years. BUT, since I am in serious need of help apartment hunting, I figure it was better to contact everyone I knew. What’s the worse that could happen? (Answer – someone wouldn’t answer.)

And guess what – some people didn’t answer. That’s to be expected…

HOWEVER, two of the people I heard from were guys I went to high school with (actually, one of the guys I went to elementary, middle and high school with). I hadn’t spoken to either of them in over ten years. But, one of them works in real estate and said he could help with my apartment search (I already emailed him back). The other guy called me and gave me the contact information with a girl we went to high school with because SHE is moving to NYC too. I spent a good few minutes racking my brain… like, I remembered her name and kind of remembered who she was. I called her up and was like “Hey, so-and-so gave me your phone number. We totally went to high school together and are both trying to move to New York. Crazy!” We talked for, like, 15 minutes and are legit going to look for a place together. Even if we don’t find a place together, though, it sounds like we will be making an effort to hang out. It’ll be so nice knowing someone else in the area… and reconnecting with someone from high school! (btw – I found my senior yearbook after our phone conversation. As soon as I saw her picture, everything clicked. Crazy times.)

I was really touched that people I haven’t spoken to in forever totally reached out to help when I sent out that message this morning. I can’t help but smile. See – social media isn’t entirely evil.

What else, what else?

I applied for an awesome job today. It would be pretty much the greatest job of all time and I think I would be perfect for the position. My fingers are epically crossed that the powers that be think this way too.

I still don’t have an ending for my script. I let a couple people read it and so far have only gotten in-depth feedback from one brave soul (thanks, Robin!!!!!). I know there is a bunch of stuff I have to go back and edit. I thought I had a decent start, though. I’m still proud of myself for writing 120 pages of stuff… that’s a lot for me πŸ™‚ I’m not pleased with the grammar mistakes I seem to have made. Oh, homophones… why you gotta suck so much? But, at least my biggest writing problem only happens when I hand-write out stuff. Somehow, when I’m writing, I mix up my lowercase p and b… and sometimes d. Not all the time… but enough to make me a bit frustrated. I’ll have to Google that to see if it’s a real thing or if it’s just me.

*Googles “mix up lowercase p and b*

So… after some Googling, I can self-diagnose and say that I probably have a form of dysgraphia. Wikipedia says, “The word dysgraphia comes from the Greek words dys meaning “impaired” and graphia meaning “making letter forms by hand”.

Awesome.

It makes sense, though. With the exception that I am an awesome speller (2nd best speller in the 5th grade, yo), a lot of the other symptoms (if you will) fit. My grammar skills are probably not as awesome as they could be. I have difficulties with the letters p, b and d (only lowercase…). And I also write the wrong word/s when I am formulating my thoughts on paper.

Up through probably my junior or senior year of undergrad, I would actually hand-write out all of my papers (yes, even the 20 page papers…). There was a lot of times when I would start writing one word, but end up putting the wrong ending on it (like, combining two words together), or I would have weird looking p, b and d’s all over the place.

Of the three types of dysgraphia listed on Wikipedia, I don’t really identify with any of them. I mean, I would lean toward Motor Dysgraphia, but I am a great typer. Like, 70 WPM… So, that can’t be it. I’m not dyslexic, though… then do I lean toward spatial dysgraphia the most? Hmmm…

Who knows?

Anyway… whether I have this dysgraphia or not is not going to slow me down. How often to we hand-write out stuff these days anyway?

Exactly.

So… I’m going to go read for a couple minutes and then sleep. I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night, so my eyelids are heavy and hurt.

Have a good one!

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I hate April Fool’s Day. I hate being sick.

So, today was AWESOME.

Really, it could have been worse.

I didn’t have to go to work, I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be, so I spent a bulk of the day shivering under some blankets on the couch. (My hands were freezing, but my face was not… and I just couldn’t get my hands warm. Probably didn’t help that I was drinking cans of soda throughout the day to calm my throat… fear not, there were piping hot mugs of tea throughout my day as well. And Italian Ice (man, what I would have done for some Water Ice… omg, I need Water Ice like I need air right now. Must. Go. To. Philly.). And Mac & Cheese. The best part about being at sick in the same place as my parents is that my parents are there. (Plus, my dad is sick too… I blame him for feeling like shit today.) *And* my dog snuggled with me on the couch off and on throughout the day (when I wasn’t sleeping).

I still feel pretty horrible right now. I have a box of tissues, some cough drops and hand sanitizer right next to me. I also have two layers of clothes on and three blankets piled on top of my. My hands are still freezing, but I’ll put them in my hoodie pocket soon as I try to drift to sleep. I’m supposed to work tomorrow, which sucks. I put my shift up for someone else to take, but so far no one’s taken it. My fever should be gone and I should be fine to go in, but I honestly don’t feel like moving from out underneath these blankets. Standing made me dizzy today and I had a fever. (Only 100.7, but I could tell something was off.)

But, enough complaining :/ I’m thankful I could lounge around all day and sleep it off/watch a bunch of television (AND I applied for 5-6 jobs too, so don’t think I totally slacked off today). I am looking forward to snuggling down into my covers in a few minutes and attempting to sleep through the night tonight.

I hope you all had a nice weekend and a tolerable April Fool’s Day.

Have a good one

I crawled into bed before 9 pm tonight (I’m updating this blog from underneath my blankets, surrounded by Yoda Buddy and a box of tissues). I feel really weird, so this will likely be a super short post so I can get to sleep as soon as possible.

I slept in again (only until 8:45), so I figured something was up. I worked all of this afternoon and I felt really dizzy. I tried to drink as much water as I could (we’re not allowed to have water bottles at our work areas, but I bring one anyway, as the nearest drinking fountain is far away from my work area and I was the only one working there… so I couldn’t leave even if I needed to). And I have some non-sugar free cough drops in my pocket, so I had a couple of those throughout my shift, but they were pretty useless. I mean, my sore throat was helped, but I thought that little bit of sugar would give me a temporary kick. It did not.

So, I drank a whole bottle of water on my drive home and another with dinner. I laid down on the couch to watch HIMYM reruns, but was still feeling weird. I tried to get up to get some tylenol and a drink at the commercial break, but I got too dizzy again. So, my mom offered to get me what I needed from the kitchen… I took the pills about 2 hours ago, but they haven’t kicked in. I doubt they will. I’m 99% sure I’m immune to over-the-counter painkillers. I’m still thirsty too, but I’m going to float away if I have anything else to drink right now. Alas.

I’m hoping to wake up feeling better tomorrow. I work all morning and afternoon, but then I have tomorrow evening to rest a bit. Yay.

Have a good one

… Well it’s been a long, been a long, been a long, been a long day.

(One of my FAVORITE musicals ever, btw…)

Holy smokes, what a long day.

I worked for about 8 hours and it felt like forever… probably because they didn’t have the air on and it was hot/uncomfortable the whole day. And I’m still feeling a bit off from yesterday. My colleague asked if I was feeling okay because she said I looked like I was off a bit… I told her I felt weird and she said I was looking pretty peaked.

I was super busy today, which meant that work should have flown by. But it didn’t…

After work I was feeling a little bit better just because I now have 4 whole days off… Glee Live is on Wednesday… I get to spend some time with my family… we sat on the deck and made s’mores… and I laughed so hard that there were tears rolling down the side of my face. All that and several cold sodas totally helped my mood and made me feel less blah.

I’m thankful I don’t have to set any sort of alarm for tomorrow morning… I can just sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow someone will email me the PDF attachment I need to finally finish all of my thesis stuff. If I don’t get an email by lunchtime tomorrow, they will be receiving a phone call. I’m getting this stuff done before Friday, mark my words. I did not just drive to and from Ohio and defend my thesis only to not have it uploaded in time because the thesis people neglected to attach the proper link in an email.

So, that should get done tomorrow. And then I will be oh so happy πŸ™‚

Have a good one!

So, today marks the fourth anniversary of my grandfather’s death (my dad’s dad).

I think about him every day and even though I am so sad that he’s gone, I can’t help but smile. The man made me laugh πŸ™‚

I have so many great memories of my grandfather… most of them were “you had to be there” situations, or stories that my dad told me from before I was born. My grandfather (we called him “Pop Pop”) was a very, very funny man. I liken him to a Jewish Archie Bunker. He had some pretty choice things to say about other people, but he was an equal opportunity offender. Even though I knew a lot of the stuff that was coming out of his mouth wasn’t entirely PC, just the manner in which he said it was funny. He could have done stand up.

I was lucky that I got to spend a decent amount of time with my Pop Pop in the first 24 years of my life. We visited him and my Grammy a few times a year, and then later in life, my sister and I would go visit them on our way to New York City. In the last year or so, I would call him up during my breaks at work and we would talk about movies. He’s the one who introduced me to “Inside the Actors Studio” and would suggest various movies or books that I should read.

He had a think Philly accent that I can still hear in my head any time I want. He used to call my siblings and I “bum” for some reason. He would also call me a Philistine because I didn’t like mustard or salt on my soft pretzels.

There’s just so much stuff that reminds me of him – the birthday candle, the penguin game, him catching a newspaper on fire in the dining room, how his sandwiches always tasted better than any other sandwich, his “triple spin” off the diving board, him falling asleep often holding a beverage, Pop driving (holding your hands at 5 and 7), how when he was driving my brother and I back to his house from the King of Prussia mall he made a left turn from the center lane and I thought we were all going to die right then and there, Drug Emporium, and the list goes on and on…

My grandfather was a great man. He took care of everyone but himself. He was very loving to us. He was a great cook. He was a funny guy. He told great stories. He knew everything about everything it seemed. I just miss him a lot.

The day he died, I was by myself at the apartment I shared with my sister in Indiana. (She was in Michigan for some band thing.) My mom called and told me my Pop Pop was in the hospital and not doing well and that my dad had gone to be with him. I didn’t even know he was sick. I cried a lot, because this was the worst thing that had happened to me in my entire life. I was alone and I didn’t know what to do.

So, I grabbed my car keys (mind you, I had only gotten my license 2 days prior) and I drove all over town trying to find the 2-disc edition of Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire. Don’t ask me why I did this, because I still don’t know. But I was determined to find that DVD. I literally drove from one side of town to the other and back again, twice. I almost got run over by a semi truck in the parking lot outside of Cheeseburger in Paradise. Tears were streaming down my face the whole day, and I just remember talking to myself and trying to calm myself down.

I couldn’t find the Harry Potter DVD, so I ended up buying the 2-disc edition of Batman Begins. Once I got back home, I made some popcorn, grabbed my Batman Buddy, and climbed into my sister’s bed (she wasn’t home – she didn’t have to know). Through my tears, I watched all of the extras on the second disc and then watched the movie.

Later that night, one of my parents called to tell me that my Pop Pop died. I lost it again and just cried to myself because there was nothing else I could do. When my sister got home that weekend, we hugged and cried together. It was one of, if not the, lowest point in my life thus far.

What really made me sad was I had called my grandfather the day before during my break at work. He always picked up, but that day he didn’t. I left some sort of message joking that I hoped he was out having fun and enjoying himself. Little did I know he was already in the hospital. 😦

But, even though that was a really, really horrible time in my life, I can only look back on my relationship with my grandfather and feel an overwhelming amount of love. I know he loved me and I loved him. And really, that’s the best a granddaughter can hope for πŸ™‚

So, I miss you Pop. I miss you every day. And I will continue to miss you every day for as long as I live.

***

In other news… today my blog kinda exploded. Last night I was just hoping to finally reach 10,000 views, but because of my post about last night’s Glee episode, I will now cross 11,000 views within the hour. Today I got over 1,000 views… 1/11 of the total views on my blog… my mind grapes are blown. (Well, I just checked my blog stats – I am at 11,0006 total views, and 1,027 views for the day. Day-yum.)

I know that most of these people will probably never come across this blog again, but I am beyond astonished that that many people have checked out my blog… especially the 1,300+ people who have looked at my blog in the past 2 days because of that Glee post. I don’t expect this to happen ever again, but it’s kinda neat for right now. Makes me feel like my writing matters to someone πŸ™‚

See, I’m still having massive problems with my thesis, even though I am defending it on Tuesday. I cannot wait until this whole process is over. I am just feeling like the worst scholar of all time because I feel I am having such petty conflicts with my thesis chair. Hopefully he’ll let me know what kind of presentation he wants for the thesis defense. I’ve asked him two or three times in the past week because he never addresses that part of my email, only some formatting issue that is really neither here nor there. BAH!

I had to work tonight, so I missed American Idol and one episode of Happy Endings. I did catch the second episode of Happy Endings… not gonna lie, I am a little bit in love with Adam Pally.

Have a good one

So, I’m sitting on the couch in the living room killing time until midnight. That’s when our government is going to shut down if Congress and the President don’t figure out this whole budget mess.

(IMMA RANT NOW… JUST TO LET YOU KNOW)

My dad works for the federal government, so if the government shuts down, he’s out of work until this mess gets fixed. We’re watching the news right now… my dad got interviewed earlier today. The news station will air his interview if the government still is on the verge of shutting down. Our fingers are crossed that we don’t get to see the interview, but I have a feeling that we will be seeing it during the 10:00 news. This is so depressing.

I’ve been watching the news a lot during the past few days. This is definitely out of character for me. Even though I am a journalism student, I don’t really watch the news more than I have to, nor do I really keep up with a lot of political stuff. I’m not proud of this, but it’s just something I’m not super into. I can tell you all of the latest entertainment news (I’m not talking tabloid stuff… more along the lines of movie, television and theater news and headlines), but I’m not a fan of politics and whatnot.

However, since my dad’s job (as well as the good of the whole country, really) is at stake right now, I’ve been trying to keep up with the news as of late. And what seems to be getting thrown around as something that Republicans and Democrats can’t agree on when it comes to the budget fiasco is the funding of Planned Parenthood.

It seems that the Republicans want to defund Planned Parenthood, to which I reply, “WHAT THE F**K?!?!?!?”

Now, I have only stepped inside of a Planned Parenthood one time (to see if they were hiring…). But, I whole heartedly support this organization. I am a firm believer in a woman being able to control what happens to her own body instead of government trying to regulate what she can or cannot do. And I’m not just talking about abortions here (even though I am Pro-Choice)…

If you look at their website, you will see that Planned Parenthood is an organization that provides information and help with birth control, emergency contraception, general health care, relationship issues, STDs, sexual orientation questions, and women’s health (among other areas of interest for people in need of health-related services).

Planned Parenthood offers Breast Cancer Screenings, Pap and HPV Testing, Pelvic exams, and other women’s health tests and information.

To think that there is a large chunk of our government who wants to stop funding an organization that does so much for people (especially women) when it comes to health issues… well that just makes me sick to my stomach.

It is extremely close minded of people in our government to want to stop funding for Planned Parenthood. These close minded individuals are so hung up on the topic of abortion (Which is still legal, right? I mean, it’s not like Roe vs. Wade ever got overturned…). I feel it is wrong to try and defund an entire organization which does so much good for women’s health (among other services) just because they also conduct abortions.

People are entitled to their own opinions about whether they consider themselves Pro-Choice or Pro-Life. However, I do not feel it is right for the government to mandate what goes on inside of a woman’s body. There is supposed to be a separation of Church and State, yet I feel that people’s beliefs have worked their way much to far into government, laws and regulations.

Plus, really in the grand scheme of things, the funding of Planned Parenthood is such a small part of the bajillion dollar deficit our country is in. It’s friggin’ RIDICULOUS to be fighting over funding Planned Parenthood when waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more important things are at stake.

Like, how about… oh, I don’t know… if the government shuts down, the troops won’t get paid but Congress people will. WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE? (Answer: Everything)

Pull your head out of your ass, government, and agree on something soon because your shutting down is going to negatively impact a lot of people.

(OKAY, ENOUGH ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT)

I had a pretty productive day today. I probably could have gotten more done, but I am pleased with what I did.

Right before I went to bed last night, I had a thought about how to fix a couple of my charts. So, this morning I did just that… I fixed my charts the best I could, tried to start formatting them to the Thesis and Dissertation people’s standards. I then typed up a couple pages worth of results. I was going to do the results and discussion sections today, but just got the results part done. I will type up the discussion section tomorrow.

I figure I will do the discussion part tomorrow, and maybe start on the conclusion. I have to work on Sunday, but then I have three days off in a row again. Monday I will finish up the conclusion part and then finish formatting my whole paper to TAD standards. Then, Tuesday I will proofread and edit to the best of my ability. I hope to send my finished paper to my thesis chair on Wednesday. Holy hell… lofty goals, but I think I can do it πŸ™‚

Tonight my parents and I watched the movie Jack Goes Boating. Netflix claimed it was a romantic comedy… not as such, Netflix. Not as such. Parts of it were kinda funny… not laugh out loud funny, but more like a knowing chuckle of being able to relate to the awkwardness of the characters. But, I love Philip Seymour Hoffman, so I was glad I saw it.

And that’s really about it… I guess I did also start rewatching Firefly during lunch earlier. I’ve only seen the series all the way through once (and then I did watch Serenity). I love how it’s a mix of Star Wars and a western. Plus, Nathan Fillion is amazing… as always πŸ™‚

And that’s really about it. Oh, and for those wondering, I did post the two codes to unlock “Pink Houses” and “Ice Ice Baby” on Wii Glee Karaoke Revolution Version 2 in the comment section of yesterday’s post.

****This just in at 9:46 pm… it seems the government has placed an extension on their budget mess. So, now we have to wait a few more days (until next Thursday?) for them to figure stuff out. This doesn’t solve anything. It actually makes things worse… just keeping us all on our toes until next week. But will they figure stuff out by then? Are we just postponing the inevitable? BLAH ****

Oh well, I guess I can go to bed soon. I’ll stay up with my parents for awhile more to see if they air my dad’s interview. But then off to bed.

Have a good one

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K“, and I am just not in a great place right now.

I don’t get it – I was having the highest of highs today, and then while I was supposed to be relaxing/unwinding during American Idol, I just started crying and I have a feeling that is how the rest of the night is going to play out. I should have grabbed a box of tissues from my bathroom cupboard. I’ll go get that in a few minutes. I just need to type it out right now and then try and sleep.

So, I had my phone conference today for my thesis proposal defense. It was a 38 minute long conversation which ended pretty well, but I have so much to do now. I was downright queasy before I called my professors at 1:00. I suck at talking on the phone, and I was super worried about what they were going to say to me.

All three of my committee members made some critiques. Luckily their notes weren’t anything too dramatic. My biggest criticisms were that I was repetitious a bit with some of my information, and I made a few broad generalizations that I need to make more specific examples. Also, the title of my paper is horrendous (which I already knew) and my research questions need to be reworded (again, something I already knew). So, I took a bunch of notes and really listened to what everyone had to say. I was grateful for their input and I have completed this leg of the race, if you will.

I need to do a bit more research to get a few statistics about women in the workplace and some civil rights stuff, but on a whole, I think the direction I was headed in was pretty good. I also need to plow forward with fixing my research questions so that I may design the right kinds of charts to fit my needs.

I have a really small window to get all of this done. I have to basically be finished with my thesis on May 6th. This means, though, I have to have it done and sent to my thesis chair a couple weeks before that so he can look it over before the other members of the committee get it.

This all didn’t really sink in until during American Idol.

I mean, after I hung up from the phone conference, I knew I had a lot to do in a little amount of time if I wanted to graduate in June.

But, I was just on such a high from being done with the phone call and passing my proposal defense that for a couple hours, I felt invincible.

My proposal defense was done. Last night I found out about an event in May in my sister’s town and we made arrangements to go see it. I was going to see one of my favorite people perform twice in less than a month. I was on Cloud 9.

Then, during American Idol, reality hit me like a ton of bricks and I just lost it. My first realization was that the event in May that my sister and I made arrangements for… I’m scheduled to drive back from Kansas on May 9th. I only just remembered that my manager wanted me to go to a convention on that day with a colleague of mine to learn more about the products in our area.

I completely forgot about this when I went last night to request May 8th and 9th off from work. Now, I don’t want to piss off my boss. But I also don’t want to miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity I will have if I go to Kansas that weekend to see my sister.

It’s not that I don’t think my job is meaningless. I work really hard and I try to please the people I work with as well as the people I help out. However, I know that I am not going to have a career at this place. I really only planned on working there until this past January… it only has been longer than that b/c I hadn’t gotten my thesis done yet. I was not meant to work where I’m working – this has always just been temporary means to pay my bills. So really, if I was planning on quitting when I was ready to move away from here (which looks to be June or July…), then maybe I shouldn’t be the one going to this convention in the first place, because I don’t plan on sticking around for longer than I have to.

I know I will need to tell my manager that I can’t go to this convention. And I know she will be super pissed off at me. And she’ll probably throw in my face that she told me the date to mark on my calendar a couple weeks ago. But that completely slipped my mind last night when this opportunity arose. I have to go see my sister.

I also am going to have to take like, 4 or 5 days off when it comes time for me to defend my thesis, as I’m going to need to go to Ohio to do so. And my place of business has these stupid attendance rules and rules about how many days one is allowed to request off in a row. Well, sorry place of business, but my higher education is way more important than the $7 an hour I’m making to get treated poorly by entitled people. (I’m just venting… not everyone I help is snobby at me. For reals. Some of the people are downright delightful.)

So, I’m going to need those days off to go to Ohio so I can be gone with grad school and move on with my life.

I’m also pissed because I wish I could just devote the next few weeks to working on my paper. But I work 3-4 days a week. So, I have then 3-4 days to work on my paper a week, as well as a couple hours here and there on days where I do have to work. But I am so bad at writing papers, that I am worried I won’t be able to produce the quality of work that my committee is looking for in such a short amount of time.

I mean, I am going to finish. By hook or by crook, I will get this fucker done if it kills me. The thing is, I’m worried that it might.

Well, my thesis won’t kill me. But it is making me physically ill.

I don’t sleep much anymore because I’m too worried about not having enough time. And while I guess I could turn all my lights on at 4 in the morning when I can’t sleep and try to work on my stuff, but my head just hurts so bad and my thoughts are just racing so much that nothing I would write at that time of day would even be usable. (And here come the waterworks… pause break for tissues. God, where does all this snot come from?)

In high school, I was so stressed out that I got really bad tension headaches (like, my head hurt so much, it hurt to comb my hair or touch my head… kinda like now), my face broke out like whoa (also like now, though luckily not as bad as back then) and a stress-induced cyst formed inside of my eyelid so it looked like I had a Very Cherry Jelly Belly jellybean growing over my eye (fingers crossed that doesn’t happen again… let’s just say, I had the worst senior picture of all time).

I don’t deal with stress well. I’ve known this for many, many years. I can’t relax. I can’t not think about everything all the time. I can’t sleep. I get really emotional really quickly and at times can burst into tears at the drop of a dime. I’m not proud of any of this, and I can’t figure out how to make it stop. Hopefully the cyst thing won’t repeat itself. I had two of those removed in 2006-2007… I can’t handle that again. I’d describe the procedure, but you’d probably get sick to your stomach.

So, I have a feeling for the next few weeks I am going to be a mess and a half. And hopefully I will be able to ease myself out of this by getting a lot done on my paper sooner rather than later. I have to work a boat load this weekend, which is not ideal. But next week I have a couple days off and I will really just need to focus and get it done.

I need to sleep, but I don’t think that’s going to happen right now. So, I will read a couple blogs I’ve been trying to keep up with, and then read some Women in Film books to get my mind in a good place for tomorrow. I have off tomorrow, so I hope to address all of my professors’ notes from today, and then press forward with starting to make charts so I can work on my discussion section.

I just need to think happy thoughts. (P.S. Speaking of Hook, I totally named the new red squirrel who frequents our patio box Rufio because he has a bit of a mohawk and looks gangsta.)

Have a good one