Real life prevented me from getting my “Lights Out” glee-cap up in a timely fashion. This was another episode that I don’t feel like I need to watch in full ever again, but at least it advanced a couple storylines (though at the same time, it also omitted a few as well… it’s frustrating when they put something in the promo and then edit it out of the full episode).

 

Spoilers ahead…

 

Ryder is still getting catfished. Of all the plot lines to drag out, I don’t see why this one is it. But, this plays a major part of the episode, so we’ll go with it.

 

In Glee club, Mr. Schue tells the kids that he went and spied on the Hoosier Daddies. (I lived in Bloomington, IN with my sister while she went to IU – Ryan Murphy’s alma mater – so I get it…) This glee club has a tiny huge powerhouse singer for their lead (American Idol’s Jessica Sanchez) and this makes Mr. Schue propose that his kids need to perform huge, as if they were in a stadium. Of course at this moment, the power goes out and Principal Figgins announces over the PA system that candles and flashlights would be handed out based on GPA. The glee club’s assignment for the week gets changed to “Unplugged” and a majority of the rest of the episode at McKinley is in the dark. (Thematically, I think this was too soon to have the Glee kids in the dark again just 2 episodes after the gun at school episode… but that’s just my opinion.)

 

In the (dark) hallways of McKinley, Jake and Ryder have a bro-discussion about Katie. Jake says Ryder doesn’t know her, but Ryder says that he does and that he’s told her his biggest secret. Jakes says he wants to know too, but Ryder balks. Remember – Ryder is pretty sure Katie is someone in the glee club because a phone rang in the choir room when he tried to call her during the shooting incident.

 

Meanwhile, in NYC, Rachel and Kurt have an intervention with Santana and tell her she’s throwing her life away. Tina gave them the heads up that Santana is a go-go girl at a lady bar and Hummelberry tell her that she needs to stop doing that and focus on her talent. Auntie Snix says she’s just trying to figure out her dream, so Kurt suggests dance lessons.

 

Back in Lima, the glee kids sit in the dark while Sam perches on a stool in front of the class and talks about Phil Spector’s “Wall of Sound.” My ears perked up because 1. I know who Phil Spector is     2. I know what the Wall of Sound is   and  3. Sam playing a song solo and acoustically is the exact opposite of Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound, but I give Trouty Mouth an E for Effort.

 

Sam treats us to a little “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” with Ryder joining in mid-song. Artie’s on his phone during the entire number which tries to make you think that he is Ryder’s catfish, but really Artie is just too plugged in. He’s supposed to perform next, but claims he can’t sing his Miguel song because of his lack of synthesizers. Sam calls him – and everyone else – out for being on their phones all the time instead of in the moment. He calls them all sad and lame. (I took this as a direct smack in the face to the fans/today’s youth who spend all their time on their phones and computers instead of taking part in their own life. I know I’m guilty of it too, but I can shut down. I turn my phone off at night. I can make it through an entire movie or Broadway Show without taking out my phone in the middle of it to check my email or text someone.)

 

In NYC, Kurt is finally back at Vogue.com (where you BELONG, Kurt… you were meant to do great things with fashion) and we have the return of Isabelle – my second favorite adult character on Glee. (First will always be Burt Hummel… second used to be Coach Beiste, but not since she has a crush on Mr. Schue. Oy.) Isabelle is on the phone with Darren Arronofsky talking about Christopher Nolan and I roll my eyes while CrissColfer stans likely squealed in epic delight. She hangs up and asked Kurt about his dad (he’s doing well, thanks for asking!) and they talk about how Kurt hasn’t been around much since he started at NYADA. But, since Isabelle is awesome, she tells Kurt she prefers quality over quantity of work and says she’ll always support his dreams. (To which Kurt and the whole of the fandom said, “Thank you, Fairy Godmother.”) Isabelle then asks Kurt to be a celebrity wrangler at a big ballet gala and says he can ask some of his friends to help (this is what we call “foreshadowing”).

 

No longer at McKinley, Sue Sylvester is now a “freelance champion” and is a personal trainer at a gym. She has a Sue90X class and we are treated to Blaine Anderson in a blank tank top and tight green booty shorts doing a full out workout. I’m sure there were other people in the scene, but all I have written in my notes are “THIGHS.” I did see the guy in front of Blaine give a smile in his direction, but Blainers was not impressed. After the class, Blaine tells Sue that his plan was to tear her down, but now he just wants to find out what happened. Coach Roz is telling the Cheerios a bunch of weird stuff and he wants to set the record straight on what went down causing Sue to get fired. He tells her that the team needs her – and they do. Coach Roz is a hot mess.

 

(Then there was a super short/unnecessary scene of Artie telling Sam that they don’t need electricity or instruments to make music.)

 

Back in NYC, Kurt tells his roommates that they are all volunteering at the NYC Ballet Gala. Rachel goes through some epic monologue that she started as a ballerina. Kurt pipes in that he too did ballet when he was three (awwww – cute little kid Kurt!), but then Santana said that she “Studied the timeless art of ‘crunk’.” (It is assumed – and mentioned in the episode – that all little girls… and Kurt, apparently… wanted to be ballerinas and/or took ballet. I had aspirations to take ballet when I was little, but ended up not taking lessons. Perhaps this is why I am about as graceful as Marla Hooch… but I digress.) Kurt and Rachel get Santana to agree to do when it is mentioned that they get to keep their couture outfits as a gift.

 

Once again in the choir room, the lights are still off and the mood is still down. Ryder, backed by some unplugged instrumentalists, dedicates a song to all of them and sings REM’s “Everybody Hurts.” There are flashbacks of Tina, Marley and Jake getting slushies and there are candles and it’s all a bit much. When the song finishes, Mr. Schue tells him it was amazing (which is a huge step up from how mean Mr. Schue was to everyone recently).

 

Then, Ryder tells the glee kids that he was molested by his baby sitter when he was 11. If that wasn’t already mortifying enough, Artie and Sam questioned why Ryder would be upset about something like this because it’s every guy’s dream to get with an older girl. Tina and Marley tell Sam and Artie they are not cool, but Mr. Schue does not reprimand them at all. (Ugh.) I was hoping at some point during the rest of the episode that Sam and/or Artie would apologize, but they didn’t…. Not cool, Glee writers. Not. Cool.

 

Kitty asked Ryder out to dinner, saying she broke up with Puck when he went off to college. She said she noticed Ryder being withdrawn and confided in him that she was molested in 6th grade by her friend’s older brother at a sleepover, but that she didn’t tell her parents right away. When she finally did speak up, her parents said the boy who did that was a good kid and they couldn’t believe he would do something like that, so she was exiled and switched schools. While this plot line humanized Kitty a lot more and made me more sympathetic toward her character, I thought these plot lines were out of left field and should have had some sort of message before the episode.

 

(Small tangent – while they did have a quick PSA about molestation after the episode, I was unaware that this was a plot line that Glee was going to have and wished they would have had a warning before the episode. Having gone through a similar situation, I was flummoxed not only by the topic being brought up, but by the utter insensitivity shown toward Ryder’s character by Artie and Sam, as well as the lack of discipline from Mr. Schue. When Glee decides to tackle “serious” topics, they either hit a home run or strike out. This, in my opinion, was a called third strike. The writers didn’t even bother to swing the bat. Instead of using this as an opportunity to support Ryder in his decision to share his big secret, they had two of his friends cluelessly congratulate him on being molested because it was awesome that an 11  year old kid got treated that way by an older girl. Yes, Tina and Marley called Artie and Sam out, but it would have been more powerful to have one of the male characters comfort him or call Artie and Sam out on their wrongful praise. I almost burst into tears at Artie and Sam’s reactions because one of the first people I told what happened to me, they laughed and it made me feel even more terrible about the situation. Granted every episode of this show can’t be written to avoid such triggery topics, but it would have been nice to see something as serious as this handled with a little more care. The Ryder/Kitty scene was great, but it wasn’t enough to make up for the lack of apology from Artie and Sam.)

 

The next day, the glee kids performed “We Will Rock You” all Stomp-like on the stage. They were banging trashcan lids and dragging chains and using brooms to make music. Jake tapped and spun like he was in Broadway’s Newsies and it was entertaining, albeit a predictable number in this “unplugged” episode.

 

Outside, the Cheerios were having a pretty lackluster practice outside (Seriously – if the only Cheerios routine we see with Blaine is him clapping a couple pom poms together while sitting on the bleachers, that is a wasted opportunity, my friends.). Sue was watching from afar when Becky (sans Cheerios uniform and dressed exactly like Sue) walks up and tells her that she wants to quit Cheerios because of Coach Roz. Coach Roz refers to Becky as Baby Robin and seems convinced that Becky is actually Robin – Sue’s daughter. Sue’s quip “95 years I gave those girls,” was the best line of the scene before she launched into “Little Girls” from Annie. (I’m guessing this was because Jane Lynch will be appearing on Broadway soon as Miss Hannigan…). The number was all right, if you overlook the obvious lack of Ohio scenery behind them and that for the first time on the show, Blaine is lumped in with the “girls.”

 

Back in NYC, Kurt, Rachel and Santana are dressed to the nines at the Ballet Gala and are told that they can watch the show from the wings with Isabelle. (Can I work for Isabelle? She’s nice and there are amazing perks…) They all sing “At the Ballet” and if it weren’t for Naya’s voice, I would have put the song on mute. This number dragged on (flashbacks be damned) and I have a feeling its extended play is why we never got the Blaine/Sam/Becky confrontation scene that we were promised from the week prior’s promo.

 

After the longest Glee songs ever finally ended, Santana admits that she loves dancing but doesn’t know what to do. Isabelle tells her she has time to figure it out, but that she should do what she loves and feed her soul. She reminds everyone that baby steps are okay (thanks, Isabelle!).

 

The next day, Roz brings Becky to Figgins’s office and says that she is his problem. Becky misbehaved on purpose to get set to the principal because she didn’t think of just coming down to see him on her own accord. (Oh, Becky.) It is assumed she confesses that she was the one to bring the gun to school a few weeks ago, but this was not done on screen.

 

Power is finally restored to school – “it is a new dawn” – and Mr. Schue asks the New Directions to not plug back in quite yet. He suggests they sing a cappella (which one would assume everyone would turn to Blaine and say, “Teach us, oh great one of the two-stepping Stepford school of handsome boys,” but alas…). We don’t get another song right then and there, but the promise of New Directions making music with their mouths sometime soon.

 

Ryder still talks to Katie online (which, he is a surprisingly good speller when he types… I guess his dyslexia doesn’t apply to technology), but Kitty asks him out to lunch in real life. He said he would, but he’s still into Katie. (I don’t think Kitty is Katie anymore… I’m thinking Katie is Jake or Unique because both of them hang around Marley a lot and Katie used the phrase “it’s her truth” and Marley used a version of that phrase in this episode.)

 

A quick visit back to NYC finds Santana at a dance class that is a NYADA extension program. Santana sasses the teacher, but when she’s asked why she’s there, Santana answers honestly that she’s reintroducing herself to the art. After class, we see little Santana from earlier and she asks, “Don’t forget me again, okay?” The Santanas hug and hopefully this means Santana is on a path to fulfillment.

 

In the final performance of the show, the New Directions sing Billy Joel’s “For the Longest Time” and though it is not as adorable as the version that multiple Barneys and Teds sang on HIMYM a few weeks ago, it’s still entertaining (because this song is flawless). When I wasn’t watching Blaine sing backing vocals in his yellow pants, my eyes scanned the screen for Bittany, Sugar and Joe… but found none of them. We know they’ll be in the finale (since we need them for Regionals!), but what is their excuse for missing a fair few episodes recently? Boo… I miss Sugar.

 

The highlight for my crowd of friends was definitely the promo for 4×21 – “Wonder-ful” – Glee’s Stevie Wonder episode (Puh-lease don’t mess up my jams, Glee… I haven’t listened to the songs yet, as I’m waiting for the episode to air, but these could either turn out amazing or an ear-sore.). Based off the promo – (SPOILER ALERT) – Kurt, Mercedes and Mike Chang are back. And Blaine and Burt have at least one scene and in said scene, Blaine says, “I would like to ask Kurt to marry me.” Hopefully Burt says, “Yeah, that’s nice. You two aren’t back together yet and you should probably wait a few years for the wedding, but when you’re ready, you already have my blessing because I still love you like a son, Blaine.” And then they hug… and I just really want some quality Blaine and Burt scenes, okay?

 

 

Thoughts on 4×20?

 

Glee was infinitely more tolerable this week due to a majority of the episode centering on Blaine and Sam’s friendship and their ability to work together and lead the rest of the Glee club in Mr. Schue and Finn’s absence.

 

The theme of this week’s episode was “Guilty Pleasures.” Upon watching the episode, you figure that the writers probably went around the room and said what their guilty pleasures because no high school kid these days is a Fanilow (sorry Sam!), whereas people from my generation and above are (as in, I am a Fanilow… I have a well worn copy of Barry Manilow’s Ultimate Hits… but I’m also 10+ years older than the characters on this show). This episode was obviously catering to the guilty pleasures of older writers/producers when they had a Small Wonder reference. I would wager if you asked any high school kid if they know what Small Wonder was, they would have no idea. A few months ago I asked a 21 year old about The Wonder Years and he had NO IDEA what I was talking about. So… yeah. This episode was for us older gleeks, though I’m sure the younger crowd didn’t mind all the Blam on this week’s episode of Blee.

 

It’s been working out good doing my glee-cap around the songs, so let’s do that again this week…

 

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – Blaine and Sam (w/New Directions)

 

At the start of the episode, Blaine cornered Sam at his locker and tried to give him $50 for food because he saw Sam stealing pasta from the school’s kitchen. Sam caves and says he’s not stealing the noodles to eat, but to create art. He shows Blaine a room full of pasta art, complete with a very well done portrait of Kurt. Blaine is taken aback and muses, “The macaroni really captures him,” starting off an episode chock-full of great Blam quotes.

 

Once Sam gets his guilty pleasure off his chest, he asks Blaine to share what his guilt pleasure is. We all know Blaine’s guilty pleasure is Sam, especially with all those close ups of his eyes and those lips. But, Blaine balks and says he loves Wham! and that Wham! is his favorite band of all time. (I would argue Blaine probably does love Wham! – especially since he likely helped Kurt do one of their songs for his NYADA application, but we all know he was lying in the moment to spare himself from humiliation and potentially ruining his friendship with Blaine).

 

Tina interrupts and says that Mr. Schue is sick, to which Sam asks if she is going to straddle him while he’s passed out and rub his chest with ointment. Tina claims it was just a phase while Sam and Blaine get a decent chuckle out of what was probably one of the most awkward/creepy moments in television history.

 

Blaine and Sam have all the glee kids gather in the choir room. Though they have no teacher, Blam gives the glee kids an assignment to sing guilty pleasure songs. They got the idea when Blaine told Sam about Wham (“Shooting the crap like brothers do…”) and say that by sharing their musical shame, they can be cohesive and use it as team building.

 

When the other kids are initially not for the idea, Blaine and Sam unzip their hoodies to reveal their “Choose Life” 80s t-shirts and instantly we are transported on stage to the whole of New Directions in bright colored shorts, shirts and skirts singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.”

 

I’m grateful I saw the video of this the other day because I might have had a heart attack at all the 80s awesomeness and the fact that Blaine had Darren hair and was wearing short blue shorts and an earring. All the dancing made me laugh and gave me some flashbacks to my youth. It was a fun and up-beat performance and I was giggling the entire time.

 

 

Copacabana – Sam

 

Continuing with the Blam storyline, Sam pulls Blaine aside in the locker room by saying, “Put some pants on, I need to talk to you.” (Their friendship is PRICELESS.) When Sam gets all shifty, Blaine jumps to the conclusion he’s hoping for as he asks, “Do you have feelings for me?” Sam quickly says No but still acts all weird until Blaine finally gets him to blurt out that he likes Barry Manliow. Sam has several monologues about Manilow throughout the episode, but this one ends with “It’s like he’s talking right to me.”

 

You can tell Blaine thinks Sam is nuts for being a Fanilow, but tells him he needs to come out about it to the other glee kids. Sam looks worried, but later in class, he flat out tells everyone that he loves Barry Manilow and then rattles off a laundry lists of why (amazing performer and songwriter, underappreciated, great hair, etc…). Sam ends his rambling with “This is who I am and I make no apologies.”

 

Nor should you, Sam.

 

So, Sam puts on those crazy arm things you see people wear on DWTS and sings Copacabana. And guess what? ALL the glee kids know it and join in because everyone and their mom knows that song. Blaine calls Sam brave for singing that, but soon the rest of the glee guys admit to being Fanilows too.

 

 

Against All Odds – Blaine

 

After Sam sings his Manilow jam, he approaches Blaine in the library (the kid was reading a Goosebumps book, for crying out loud… which a lot of people are taking to be an Easter Egg w/regard to Klaine because Blaine is reading “The Phantom in the Auditorium” and Kurt did that PotO number last season…). Sam tells Blaine it’s his turn to admit his guilty pleasure because he has talked the talk, but has yet to “Walk the walk, pilgrim.” (Oh Sam and your John Wayne impressions trying to use humor to make Blaine laugh/feel less awkward about the whole situation… besties, yo.) Encouraging his friend to be honest, Sam tells Blaine that he needs to set an example for the glee club.

 

So, in the auditorium a little later, Blaine sits at a piano on stage and plays a moving rendition of the Phil Collins CLASSIC Against All Odds. Darren sang that live and accompanied himself on piano. Though it wasn’t as heartbreaking as Teenage Dream in 4×4, it was still pretty great. There was no way to do that kind of song/performance pre-recorded, and Darren is talented and capable enough to do that live-to-tape.

 

The whole of the glee club is in the audience, but we keep getting shots of Blaine looking over at Sam and Sam watching Blaine’s every move. It’s a devastating song and I can see why it was used for the show.

 

I saw some people grumbling about how Blaine is singing this love song about Sam. Blaine’s not in love with Sam the way he is in love with Kurt. I think the pain Blaine was feeling was from his own internal conflicts – knowing that having a crush on a straight person is not going to amount to anything, knowing that having a crush on his straight best friend could potentially ruin their friendship, and having feelings for Sam while having feelings for Kurt.

 

A lot of the lyrics of the song apply perfectly to the Blam relationship. For example, “You’re the only who really knew me at all.” Since Kurt left, Sam is the only person in Blaine’s life who seems to know him inside and out and still loves him unconditionally because of or in spite of this knowledge.

 

And what about this whole verse:

 

I wish I could just make you turn around,

turn around and see me cry

There’s so much I need to say to you,

so many reasons why

You’re the only one who really knew me at all

 

Blaine is obviously struggling about whether he should tell Sam or not about the crush. He wants to tell Sam because Sam is his best friend. He needs to tell Sam because keeping it in will eventually break Blaine and likely put a strain on their relationship. Blaine just doesn’t have the confidence in himself to trust that if he tells Sam his secret, Sam is going to be okay with it. Sam is friends with pretty much everyone, whereas Blaine is not – and I think that’s his own doing. We the audience still don’t know all that much about him, which leads me to believe that the writers have made him this surfacely friendly person/people pleaser who keeps his own business to himself. Sam sees through that, though, because Sam cares about Blaine. This is seriously one of the best examples of male friendship in any show I watch on a regular basis.

 

When Blaine finishes his song, Tina asks who it’s about and Blaine immediately says Kurt, but also Phil Collins. He goes on about how he’ll spread his music and ends with, “I am no longer in the closet about my love for Phil Collins.” Sam does not believe Blaine’s words and you KNOW he’s going to call him out on it…

 

… Which he does. Sam finds Blaine at the piano on stage a while later and they have conversation about musical guilty pleasures that they both know is really about them. Sam takes the reins on the conversation and addresses the elephant in the room. He says Blaine doesn’t have to be uncomfortable and that he knows that he is Blaine’s guilty pleasure. He then says how he knows Blaine is into guys and that he himself is an attractive guy, so he would have been offended if Blaine wasn’t into him. Though Sam was joking to put Blaine at ease, he was completely serious when he told Blaine that nothing was going to change between them. He says the attention feels good and says that it’s flattering. In true Sam Evans-style, he tells Blaine that they need to hug it out and the boys wrap each other in a huge hug, with Blaine smiling brightly, eyes closed, as he embraces his best friend.

 

After a few moments, Sam sports a frown and says, “Please tell me that’s a pack of Lifesavers in your pocket.” Blaine says no, that they’re breath mints, and asks if Sam wants one. Sam says Yes and Blaine takes the roll of mints out of his pocket and each boy pops a mint into his mouth. It was a great – albeit cheesy – to diffuse the entire situation and really the whole crush on Sam should be over by this point. If anything is mentioned again, it’ll be a joke/teasing situation. This plot line should have been wrapped up during “Naked,” as there were no instances of Blaine’s crush since then, but at least it got resolved.

 

Now we just need all the Blam all the time.

 

 

Wannabe – Kitty, Brittany, Marley, Tina and Unique

 

Brittany approaches Kitty near the top of the episode and tells her that everyone hates her and she’s mean. She says Kitty should use her powers for good and not evil and invites her on Fondue for Two. The girls chat and start talking about guilty pleasures. The Bring it On movies are brought up (woot) and then Kitty whispers her musical guilty pleasure to Brit. Tina – who watches Fondue for Two – demands to know what Kitty’s guilty pleasure is and Brittany tells her it’s the Spice Girls. All the glee girls are like, “omg, me too!” and they plot to sing a Spice Girls song and try to figure out which Spice Girl they should be.

 

The girls perform Wannabe and everyone is happy because that song (and the Spice Girls) is awesome. During the song, Artie is hardcore eyeing Kitty and at the end, he remarks how he’s never seen her so happy.

 

The best part about this number was the band. The drummer side-eyed the girls and my favorite band dude was back, rocking a keytar, no less.

 

 

My Prerogative – Jake

 

Jake was going to sing a Chris Brown song until ALL the glee girls hound him for wanting to sing his music. Jake makes the perfectly legit argument saying that he likes Chris Brown’s music, but not Chris Brown (which is exactly how I feel about Chris Brown) and how people should be able to separate the art from the artist. The girls say that they should never do a Chris Brown song (though, remember Season One they sang “No Air,” so too late…).

 

When it’s Jake’s turn to sing, he opts to sing a Bobby Brown song, “My Prerogative.” I liked his dance moves, but his voice bothers me when he doesn’t sing low.

 

Silly Jake was unaware that Bobby Brown is pretty much just as bad as Chris Brown, since it’s believed he’s the one who got Whitney Houston started on drugs. Marley was still made at Jake’s insensitiveness, but they kiss in the hall anyway. Meh.

 

 

Creep – Brody and Rachel

 

So, Santana is living with Kurt and Rachel now because Brody moved out. She is still snarky as always and says she’ll break her pact with Kurt and tell Rachel about Brody. Kurt says she can’t do that until after her Funny Girl audition. As of that point in the plot, Brody left without saying why but said they’ll always be friends. Santana knows the truth, but tries to stay on Rachel’s good side by saying the two of them should prank Kurt. They opt for the “hand in warm water” trick and find him in his bed, wrapped in a “boyfriend pillow” (i.e. a pillow with an arm you can wrap around yourself). They immediately pick on him, but he says it was purchased while on Ambien (does he need an Intervention). He named his pillow “Bruce” and says he’s exclusive (which I take to mean that Adam and Kurt have never shared a bed…).

 

Later, Kurt gets Santana and Rachel pillows and Rachel calls the pillow weird, saying she doesn’t need it b/c she’s going to get back together with Brody. Santana loses it and says that Brody was a gigolo, which Rachel doesn’t believe. Rachel asks Kurt if it’s true and if he knew, but he doesn’t say anything (even though she can totally tell he was withholding information).

 

(Kurt withholds information a lot…  He didn’t have a huge role in this episode, but we did get a VO about his own guilty pleasures. Not was one of Kurt’s guilty pleasures his boyfriend pillow, but he also wear a Richard Simmons outfit while he sweats to the Oldies. The fandom exploded at the sight of Kurt’s legs in those shorts and everything else going on in those shorts…)

 

Rachel approaches Brody at a class and gives him some money, saying she was hoping she could have dinner with him. (Low blow, Rachel, even for you.) She says she was an idiot because they said they’d be honest with each other. Brody calls her out on not being honest with him about sleeping with Finn at the wedding. He then tells her that Finn was the one who came and beat him up (which she still didn’t know) and says that he knows she is still in love with Finn. Rachel was sure Santana was the one who ratted her out, but he just knew.

 

In a rare moment of self clarity, Rachel says that she used her relationship with Brody to make Finn jealous and to fill her own heartache. Brody asks if they are over and Rachel says, “Yeah, it feels like it is.”

FINALLY.

 

They then sang “Creep” and I wrote in my notes NO1CURRS and “ugh, just give me Blam already.”

 

I like this song, but I thought it was not used well on the show with all the slow motion and whatnot.

 

 

Mamma Mia – Everybody in NYC and Lima

 

Kurt and Santana are watching a Facts of Life marathon when Rachel gets back. She says that her and Brody are officially over and thanks Santana for what she did. Kurt tells Rachel not to be sad and that he named her boyfriend pillow for her (Colin – after the kid in The Secret Garden). Rachel said she’s not sad, and that she’s ready to date older guys. (REALLY? Did you not just get out of a bad relationship with an older guy? Because that is literally what just happened 5 minutes ago…)

 

She also says they are going to watch movies and she plays the pity card to get then to watch Mamma Mia. And then everyone sings Mamma Mia (which is totally one of my favorite ABBA songs) and the NYC kids frolic about their apartment while the Lima kids are in ABBA-outfits (and poor Blainers’s hair is flat-ironed out, making him look like Pete Wentz’s long-lost brother…).

 

The most notable moment during this song was a tie between Kurt tripping over his hula hoop and Kurt throwing a hula hoop in NYC and Blaine catching a hula hoop in Lima. People on the blogs went bat-shit.

 

So, yeah…

 

I enjoyed this episode for all the Blam and its epic lack of Mr. Schue and Finn.

 

We are now on a 3 week hiatus until the last 5 episodes. I’m ready for this season to be over. And I’m okay if Blaine and Kurt are not back together by the end of it… however, I would like an update on Papa Hummel’s cancer. (Right?)

 

Thoughts?

So, Glee’s “Feud” episode should have been called “Fight Club”… I think this was one of the most physically violent episodes of the show. (At least Kurt didn’t get shoved into any lockers… the fan fave was maybe in the episode for 4 minutes, but had one of the best lines of the whole night – “Bitch stole my pillow.” – Because he and Rachel kicked her out of their apartment and she did, in fact, take his pillow. And Rachel’s comforter.)

 

The show opened with that same music that plays when Sue Sylvester is gonna go ape-shit on someone (“O Fortuna” from Carmina Burana), but this time it dealt with Will and Finn (though fear not, Sue still goes ape shit on people in this episode too… as per usual).

 

So, how about we deal with this episode like last week? By song (and, therefore, by “Feud”).

 

Heartbreaker – Brody vs. Rachel

 

It’s official – Rachel is not pregnant and Brody is a gigolo (Neither of these revelations are a surprise.). Brody calls himself “Gunner” and allows himself to get picked up by an older woman to help pay for his tuition. Throughout the song, he muses that he thinks he loves Rachel (you don’t Brody, let’s be real here…) and he wastes her time and the viewers’ time by singing and dancing with this older woman. He’s a minor character who is nothing more than a nice body and plot filler. Rachel sings the song with him, though she is home and alone. She says she thinks she loves him too, but you can tell this is not a “forever” relationship. I can’t wait for Brody not to be on the show anymore.

 

 

The Bitch is Back/Dress You Up – Ryder vs. Unique

 

Unique is mad at Ryder for kissing Marley (remember Unique and Marley are besties and they are flawless together, MmmKay?). She also calls Ryder a poser while she calls herself a “proud Black woman.” Ryder scoffs and calls Unique a “dude” and that pisses her off.

 

This was one of those episodes where Glee tried to tackle a HUGE topic of gender identity and it just came off weak and not quite great. Unique and Ryder sing their mashup and it’s a great mashup (those two have such strong voices), but when Blaine asks them to shake hands and let bygones be bygones. Unique wants Ryder to call her a girl, but Ryder refuses, saying he’s a dude. Unique is furious and says, “You don’t get to decide for me.” Jake (who is also mad at Ryder for kissing Marley) calls Ryder a douche and says that in the glee club, people are supposed to be allowed to be whoever they want. (Way to go, Ryder.)

Ryder has been conversing with some girl (whose name is Katie – I think) online (oh, remember the days of IM? Sigh). They talk about silly stuff, but also about serious matters, such as Ryder not calling Unique a girl. Ryder says he respects Wade and his choices and then the mystery girl says that being a girl is Wade/Unique’s truth so that Ryder should respect said truth.

 

Later in the episode, Ryder asks Unique, Marley and Jake to meet him. He apologizes to Marley for kissing her. He apologizes to Jake as well and says that friendship is about trust. He promised that even though he fumbled this time, he wouldn’t let him down in the future. They shook hands and will eventually be okay, just not yet. As for Unique, Ryder says he won’t pretend to understand, but says “You’re a girl, dude.” Unique says that she got chased home by a group of girls the day before. Ryder, Marley, Jake AND Kitty (who walks in last second) says they will walk her home because they are friends and they have to stick together, especially with Regionals coming up. They say how Artie, Sam, Tina and probably Brittany would be graduating… (What about Joe, Sugar and BLAINE?!), so they have to be their own little group. This felt like a half-assed attempt to set up Season 5. I wasn’t buying it. I also don’t really care enough about any of these 5 characters to make me excited for their chunk of the show next season. Blaine and Sam have been the only characters I care about in Lima (and Burt Hummel, but we haven’t seen much of him this season… which sucks b/c I want to know how he’s doing with his cancer…), so once they’re gone, my attention will likely be gone too.

 

 

Cold Hearted – Santana (who sings it at Brody)

 

Santana has made it her mission in NYC to get Brody away from Rachel and out of the apartment. As much as I love Santana’s newfound loyalty to the person she really couldn’t stand for 3 seasons, I kind of don’t really get it. Perhaps she’s just pissed that Rachel is naïve to believe Brody isn’t the scumbag the rest of us know he is.

 

Santana calls Brody “donkey face” and Rachel says that he said he has a side job as a cater/waiter. (Yeah… he “caters” to older ladies needs.) Santana tells her she needs to stop and focus and how this is not the Rachel Berry she went to school with. While Brody is in the shower, Santana steals his pager.

 

Later, Auntie Snix goes to NYADA and confronts Brody. He calls her loud and rude and says she’s all talk. She says she’s a hardcore friend and then oozes sex as she gets her Paula Abdul on. (At this point in the show I wrote “Can Naya just sing all the songs?” in my notes.)

 

Santana gets back to the apartment later and tells her roommates that she got a job tending bar at a Coyote Ugly place (um… she’s underage. How does a 19-year-old tend bar?). Rachel and Kurt ask to speak with her and they said she just can’t up and go to NYADA and do that because that’s where they go to school. They ask her to move out and that does not sit well with Santana b/c she considers them her family and she has love for them. She leaves, though, saying she’ll move in with Lena Dunham. She takes Rachel’s blanket and Kurt’s pillow (“Bitch took my pillow.”) and exits the apartment.

 

Toward the very end of the episode, Brody goes into a hotel room to find Santana waiting for him. She reveals that Finn is there with her and she leaves the two of them alone. Finn is livid and tells Brody to disappear from Rachel’s life forever. Brody says he loves Rachel (ew – no you don’t) and the two of them start fighting. Finn is Hulk-angry and they break a bunch of furniture before Finn growls “Stay away from my future wife.” He then kicks a table on his way out.

 

(Personal note – I think it’s wrong for the two of them to be fighting over Rachel like she’s some piece of property. Shouldn’t she get a say of who she loves/wants to be with? While the lesser of the two evils would be Finn, if she wants to be dumb and stick with Brody, that’s her prerogative. Also – Finn going ape-shit on Brody is not great. Finn is a violent person – as you will see in another song chunk of re-cap – and it makes you wonder if he would ever hit a girl or a kid, or something/someone that shouldn’t be hit.)

 

 

Bye Bye Bye/I Want It That Way – Will vs. Finn (w/the New Directions boys claiming neutrality of Switzerland)

 

Tina, Artie and Blaine sat Will and Finn down in the choir room to tell them that Will has been extra mean to Finn (bossing him around to get coffee, praising Ryder when really Ryder is just Finn 2.0, etc…) and Finn has been losing his mind (he kicked a music stand… of course). Blaine writes “Feuds” on the whiteboard and tells the two older men that they have to stop it. The three seniors give Will and Finn the assignment to sing songs from feuding artists and that they need to make up and be on the same page/team for Regionals.

 

The two men have a chat in the auditorium later and they try to discuss what they are going to sing. Will ends up lashing out at Finn, saying that he only gave him control of the Glee club b/c he took pity on him and was trying to get Finn back on his feet. Will said he felt betrayed by what Finn did (kiss Emma) and said that Finn broke the code of the brother.

 

So, what do these two oh-so-manly men decide to sing for their Feud songs? Will channels NSYNC (with the help of Blaine and Jake) as they sing “Bye Bye Bye” complete w/marionette strings while Finn (with the help of Artie, Ryder and Sam) take on the Backstreet Boys CLASSIS, “I Want It That Way.”

 

I was DYING during this song because I love NSYNC and BSB so much and always will and it was beyond amazing to see some classic boyband moves. With heaps of bias, I loved seeing Darren on Team Bye Bye Bye because it was fun to watch him dance and do tricks with the strings.

 

The sequence itself, though, made little sense. The boyband singing/dancing was juxtaposed with Will and Finn fighting each other on stage, and then them hugging. HOWEVER, when the song was over and Sam suggested the men to hug it out, Will said he couldn’t. Finn said that he understood there was nothing he could do to get Will’s trust back.

 

Later, Finn is in his office packing up his stuff. Marley comes in and gives him a Thank You card and asks what’s next for him. He says he doesn’t know, so she tells him to grow a pair and forget about Mr. Schue and that Mr. Schue does not define him. Finn disagrees and said that Will and McKinley do define him, so Marley gives him a decent pep talk saying that he’s a natural leader and would make a great teacher. She encourages him to get a teaching degree.

 

(And then, as I mentioned before, Will beats Brody up in a hotel room…)

 

We know from (SPOILERS) that Finn does decide to go to college for teaching. I’m interested in how that will play out, I guess. I don’t hate Finn this season (except when he’s pining after Rachel and kicking/punching things). It’d be nice to see him feel good about himself again.

 

 

I Still Believe/Super Bass – Blaine vs. Sue

 

Oh, Blainers.

 

Blaine’s in Sue’s office where she tells him he’s been slacking on his Cheerios commitment and that he was only a Cheerio from Dec 5-Dec 6. Blaine explains that that was because of glee club, but he was done being a Cheerio. She counters that he – Blaine Devon Anderson – signed a contract stating that he would be available for Cheerios duties when she needed him. The signature is a forgery and he doesn’t want to be on Cheerios. Sue says that if he doesn’t rejoin, something unfortunate would happen to him extremely soon. He asks if she’s threatening him and we all know she is.

 

Later in the episode, Sue makes his life a little less dapper. She gives him some sort of cement instead of hair gel, takes out a bunch of credit cards in his name and ruins his parents’ credit (it’d be awesome if we ever got to see said parents…) and then she hired a plane with a banner that read “Blaine is on the bottom.” At that, Blaine says “that’s not true – not really,” which give Klainer’s some background information into some personal matters… for reasons. He calls what she is doing “inexcusable” and this is the most fired up we’ve seen Blaine ever – especially at an adult. Sue challenges him to a Mariah Carey/Nicki Minaj sing-off and says that if she wins, he has to join Cheerios.

 

When it’s time for the sing-off, Blaine (in his cute little red cardigan) gets up and sings “I Still Believe” and it’s adorable and one-man boybandish. But then Sue – in full Minaj getup – and her Cheerios/black lights/feathers knock out “Super Bass” and it’s easy to see that Blainers is not going to come out of this the victor. In a last-ditch effort, he jumps up on the little stage in the choir room and tries to sing that he still believes, but you can see his hope fading fast (you know.. that point in the song that goes “I had a dream” instead of “I still believe…”). At one point, Sue shoves him off the stage (which I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to do to a student). And, when only Tina votes for Blaine over Sue, we know that Cheerio!Blaine is back.

 

Speaking of Cheerio!Blaine, we were blessed with several close ups of the boy in uniform and his ass was made for those horrible poly-blend, but blissfully tight, pants. He is made co-captain with Becky (and she kisses him on the lips…) along with being told that this is the real world and real world has commitments. She asks if he’s committed to being a Cheerio and he says Yes. She then tosses him a thong and tells him to wear that to avoid VPLs.

 

You’d think Blainers would be defeated, but the kid had a smile on his face as he walked down the hall – thong in hand – and meets up with Sam. Turns out my favorite dynamic duo (BLAM!) made a plan to take down Sue Sylvester with Blaine working from the inside. (In my head canon, this scheme was hatched over the two of them having a comic book movie marathon the night that Blaine lost the sing-off… Sam suggested that they use this shitty situation to their advantage and then Blaine got excited about being able to do something good while on the Cheerios even though he already had so much on his plate.)

 

So, I’m looking forward to Blam taking Sue down and Blaine in those pants (and a cheer routine? That’d be a waste of talent and plot if they don’t let Blaine do at least one routine… I mean, even Kurt got to do 4 Minutes…).

 

 

Closer – New Directions (no Feuds here…)

 

At the end of the episode, all of the New Directions (minus Sugar and Joe who weren’t in the episode) sang this song. It was nice to see Blaine and Marley playing keyboard. The song was up-tempo… I really don’t have much more to add than that. (I don’t even know who Tegan and Sara are… #sorrynotsorry).

 

So, yeah. That was the show. It wasn’t great, but there were moments of okay.

 

I am looking forward to next week’s theme of “Guilty Pleasures.” I love all the songs they will be singing and I’m not ashamed to admit it. PLUS, we get the “Blaine has/had a crush on Sam” talk that we were supposed to get episodes ago. (FINALLY.) Oh, and Kurt has a boyfriend pillow.

 

I just want all the Blam, okay? They’re the best part of the show.

 

Thoughts? Favorite songs? Did you think this episode was uncommonly violent?