The title of today’s blog post is lyrics from the song “It’s Over Now” from the StarKid production Little White Lie. It very much reflects how I felt today at and after work.

It finally happened. I cried at work. I couldn’t help it. I broke. Today I broke. My work place broke me. And the worst part is – no one is likely to do anything about it.

I still refuse to reveal on here where I work (though some of my friends are well aware by now). However, I will say that today was one of the lowest days I’ve experienced in a long while.

I woke up not feeling 100%. I had to be up at 5:30 and I had a hard time getting to sleep last night because I have this odd fear that my alarm clock is not going to go off. (It always does… but still.)

So, I got up at 5:30. I ate breakfast, took care of my dogs and got ready for the day. I was super tired and my throat was starting to hurt, but I knew I only had a 6 hour shift to get through before I had a couple days off.

Before I left for work, I grabbed my water bottle and a PB&J. Since I was working a 6 hour shift, I would be allowed a 30 minute paid break at some point throughout the day. At said break, I was going to eat my sandwich so I would have enough energy to shop for shoes/boots after my shift (both pairs of my boots are cracking on their soles… ergo, I need new boots).

I got to work and went in early to make sure I had enough supplies at my work station as it was supposed to be a super busy day and I was unfortunately scheduled to be by myself. As I was going about my business, some other colleagues started to trickle in. They were in other work areas, but they were also scheduled to be with people. They offered to help me out if I got too busy.

The day started off a bit weird. We had some big huge visit from some corporate people, so everyone was extra on their toes. I was told several times that one of the more important people would likely come to my area at some point during the day and that I should be ready to talk about my position and what I’m doing to help the company. Fine. I could totally do that.

As work progressed, my work area became super busy. This was to be expected. A colleague or two came over to help me out. We ended up getting even more busy than I expected and by time the corporate people came into my area, I didn’t end up talking with any of them because I was so busy doing my job.

No one was scheduled to come in and take over for me until I left (I was to leave at 1:45, the next person was scheduled to come in at 1:45). Because of this, I knew there was no one around to give me a break when I needed to take one, so I made sure to touch base with my manager to let her know I would need coverage at some point.

It got to be too busy for me to handle on my own and I was fading fast. My work space is very warm and dry. If you don’t keep hydrated, you feel wiped out sooner rather than later. I was unfortunately across the work area from where my water bottle was stashed (note – we’re not allowed to have water bottles in our work area, but I keep one there because it is super easy to get dehydrated, especially when breaks are never a certain, even though we’re always supposed to get them). I had a seemingly endless line of people I was supposed to be helping. I kept popping Vitamin C pills every now and again to keep my mouth from drying out.

I called several times to try and reach a manager in order to get some help and be able to take a break. After many failed attempts, I managed to get a hold of someone. I explained that I was by myself and how I needed some help and someone to cover while I took a break. Someone came down, but there were too many people and I still couldn’t leave. There was one moment where I could almost go, but I was thwarted. The guy who was helping me had to leave and I was once again left alone.

Around 1:00, I was ready to snap. I had some extremely grating people I was trying to help. But, I could tell I was not in a right frame of mind. My head hurt so bad. I was so thirsty. My hands were shaking. My vision was blurring and I couldn’t see or think straight. I called a colleague and told her I needed to take a break and someone needed to come to where I was because I wasn’t going to make it anymore.

I flagged down a manager and tears just started falling out of my eyes before I could stop them. I made my way to the other side of the work area, grabbed my water bottle and went into the first safe spot away from people I could find – a stockroom. I choked down my water as the tears kept coming. One of the nicer people I work with found me in the stockroom and made me sit down. He asked what happened and I tried to explain what was going on.

This wasn’t the first time I was denied a break when I needed one at work, but this was the first time I almost passed out because of it.

The guy who was calming me down said that this kind of situation should not happen. I am very well aware of this. I’ve actually spoken to a few managers about how a lot of the time we are not able to take breaks when we need them. We’re always allowed to take the longer ones where we have to clock out for them, but our shorter on-the-clock breaks always seem to go by the wayside. This is not fair. This shouldn’t be legal. It’s bad enough we’re not supposed to keep a water bottle by us (we’ve been told, “Of, if you need a drink of water, you can always step away from the floor and get a drink at the water fountain.” That is completely bunk. On busy days like today, there is no opportunity to step away for a sip of water. Especially when you’re scheduled to work by yourself.).

I stayed in the stockroom until I was done with my water, but I knew I needed to eat something and get more water. So, I went back out, grabbed my bag and went to the break room. I drank another bottle of water and slowly ate a granola bar. At this point, I only had 15 minutes of work left until my shift was over. I thought I could collect myself enough to finish my shift in my work area, but I made it about a minute before one of my favorite colleagues asked if I was okay and I just crumbled again. She took me back into her office and sat me down and we talked a little bit with another colleague. They were mad about what happened to me not because it was me – but because this happens to other people all the time and no one does anything about it.

I left when my shift was over and went to my car instead of going shoe shopping like I intended. I just couldn’t be out anymore – I had to get home. I did what people should never do – I drove home crying/upset. I really tried not to. I tried to think happy thoughts… that only goes so far when your head is pounding like whoa.

I got home, I let my dogs run around in the snow, I changed into my pajamas, I got some food, and I put in my DVD of Bull Durham. Bull Durham is my go-to movie for whenever I am feeling awful because it’s got baseball and Kevin Costner. When I was done with my snack, I called my dog up onto my lap and she slept there for awhile while we watched the movie. That was exactly what I needed.

My dad called later to see what we wanted to do for dinner (he’s not feeling well either, so we opted to get take out instead of going somewhere). He asked me if I was doing okay and I told him I wasn’t. I explained what happened at work. He wasn’t too happy. He told me that my job does not pay me enough for me to almost pass out like that. PREACH.

When we hung up, I called my place of business and spoke to someone in HR. I don’t think I was taken very seriously, but they took note of what I said. I highly doubt anything is going to happen, but at least I let HR know. *shrug*

Now I’m sitting next to my sleeping dogs and watching Survivor. I’ll watch Modern Family and Happy Endings too… and then hopefully sleep. I am so worn out.

I have off tomorrow. I was going to go Christmas shopping… we’ll see if that happens.

Have a good one

I woke up with the worst tension headache I’ve had since high school this morning. I don’t know why I have such a bad headache – I’m sure stress has something to do with it. Who knows, though? But my head hurts and I am beyond grateful that I don’t have work for a week.

Work was weird today.

Everyone was just in a mood. No one was really in the right frame of mind. Work was super slow, but there was double and triple coverage in all the work areas on my floor. I must have walked around in circles and dusted the same things over and over and over again.

At least a display didn’t fall on me…

… yeah, one of our displays totally fell on one of my colleagues today. I felt so bad for her because no one deserves for that to happen, especially her! The worst part is, is that I bet my workplace won’t do anything about it. She got a bump on her head, plus displays shouldn’t fall onto people, but I am fairly sure she won’t get any sort of worker’s comp for it.

Crazy.

You want to see something cool, though?

So, I have this amazing group of friends who are amazingly creative in their own right.

Well, last night, we were chatting about some stuff on the Facebook when Allie had a great idea about doing a drawing of the Evolution of Darren Criss.

So, Maya (known as Lily Crystal) did an ink drawing of Allie’s idea and it started off as THIS.

Then, Nicole colored it in and the final result is AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

I am in awe of the work that my friends literally did overnight. It’s spread like wildfire through the DCST today and hopefully we’ll get to see this on something tangible soon ๐Ÿ™‚

I โค you ladies and your amazing creative abilities.

Well… I'm gonna watch some Dancing Show results

Have a good one

But, alas, the game that was supposed to air on FOX got postponed until tomorrow because of rain. Sadness ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I turned on the X-Factor rerun while I was waiting for Amazing Race to start, but I cannot stand to watch crappy people sing. It’s not funny anymore – it just makes my ears/head hurt.

I had a mostly uneventful day today. I had to work this morning – which I did. Work was consistently busy, which made time pass. (Always a good thing.) I didn’t get a break (not a good thing, but since it happens almost every time I work, I’m not surprised in the least by this point). I met my sales goal. My manager and I had a discussion about my job performance (I’m doing well at my job). I have to work all day tomorrow… it should be a consistently busy day again, so hopefully time will pass quickly then too.

I’m looking forward to my couple days off this week. I have a lot of stuff I need to do (chores, my Glee Project audition tape, apply for jobs), and a lot of stuff I want to do (catch up on HIMYM and Dexter, and go see 50/50 and Ides of March). I doubt I’ll get all of that done, but if I can make a dent in my needs and wants lists I will be a happy girl.

Did you watch SNL last night? It wasn’t the greatest episode of all time, but parts of it made me chuckle. Definitely not as good as last week’s episode where Melissa McCarthy hosted.

My favorite bit from last night was the Andy Samberg-as-Hugh Jackman bit (which as of right now isn’t available on NBC.com… WTF, NBC?). It was super funny because of Bill Hader’s Clint Eastwood impression, and that Jackman showed up as Daniel Radcliffe.

However, the Melissa McCarthy episode from last week was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time. The Hidden Valley Ranch bit alone made me laugh so hard I almost cried. Also, the Arlene bit was some of the best physical comedy on recent television. ๐Ÿ™‚

Well… I think Amazing Race is finally on. Yay!

Have a good one

This will be a short post b/c I’m super tired (I got home from work an hour ago and have to be back early-ish in the morning).

I didn’t do much today – watched the last two episodes of Mad Men from Season 4. I figured out how to use my camera as a video camera, how to upload said video onto my computer and then edit/compress said video for a couple projects that I’ll need to do this weekend. (I’ve been practicing for my Glee Project audition, but I still need to go over the questions to answer for that reality/game show I got asked to submit a tape for.) I worked all afternoon/evening. Today at work, my manager asked me if I would take over as a specialist in my work area. I told her I needed to think about it for a little bit, but would get back to her soon. I think I am going to take the position, but I need to let her know about my intentions when it comes to how long I’ll be working there. As of right now, I need a week off around New Year’s, and I know that’s not possible with where I work, so I was going to have to quit (which I was hoping I would have another job lined up by then anyway). I don’t think my mom is too happy at the thought of me quitting my job to go on a trip with my friends and then not having something to fall back on. The truth is, I can’t be here anymore. I have felt like I waaaaaaaaaaay overstayed my welcome and I need to move on. Yes, I do not have a job or an apartment lined up yet. But, I really have my heart set on finding a job in/near NYC. I need to find a way to make that a reality sooner rather than later. *sigh*

And that’s about all that happened today…

Oh, except for I got home to find this HUGE Glee-related spoiler all over the Interwebs… (If you want to be SPOILED, then click this link.) What?!?!?!??!! Right?

Anyway…

I’m off to bed

Have a good one

I had to work all day, so it totally did not feel like Saturday. Work went all right. Luckily we were super busy because that always makes the day go by faster. I was also not by myself at all today, which was nice. I like having other colleagues around to talk to/ask questions.

I felt bad, though, because just as I was leaving work, one of my colleagues was getting completely reamed out by a customer. The customer was cursing at her and raising his voice and yelling at her for something that she was not responsible for in the slightest. She was handling herself like a pro and stood her ground. But, boy, was the customer super rude – even in my maddest state, I have never used that kind of language or yelled that loud at someone else. He was very much in the wrong and should not have been so rude to her ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

I got home and was worn out. I watched a couple episodes of Mad Men and then caught up on some computer stuff. I have tomorrow off, so I’ll fill out some job applications and do some laundry.

Right now, though, I’m going to find some blankets, curl up in the recliner with Moose and watch some Netflix before SNL starts at 10:30. (God Bless Central Time for this very reason)

It’s the season premiere and Alec Baldwin is hosting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, hopefully it’ll be amazing ๐Ÿ™‚

Well… I’m off!

Have a good one

I know I’ve written before on here how soul crushing my job is. (For the record, I have never said where I work, nor will I ever say where I work. Although, many years from now, this information is going to be fair game for a novel I am planning on writing…)

Today something happened that hadn’t happened yet… my job made me cry. And not just cry – friggin’ sob. This hysterical sadness did not happen at work – I managed to hold myself together until I got home. (I was proud for not crying while I drove home… instead I just yelled a lot and sang really loudly.)

Anyway – why I was so sad.

So, it was a busy day at work and I was by myself in my work area. I’m used to that, so this was nothing new. A colleague was going to come into my work area about 45 minutes before I left, so I figured if I hadn’t gotten a break before she got there, I would take one when she got there, if only to fill up my water bottle and take a couple minutes to eat a granola bar and clear my head.

The air is really dry in area where I work and it just sucks all the life out of you. If you don’t keep hydrated, you get worn down easily. So, by time my colleague got there, I was dehydrated and dizzy. My colleague ended up having to answer a phone call, so I waited until she was done before I was going to go on my break so as not to leave the work area unattended. Right as she hung up and I turned to her, a manager came up to our desk and asked why my colleague hadn’t gone over to a different work area to give another colleague a break. Both my colleague and I had confused looks on our faces… I mentioned how I hadn’t gotten to take my break yet, but since I only had 20 minutes left, I would forego my break so the colleague in the other work area could take her break since she was going to be there for another 4 hours.

The manager then proceeded to ask me why I hadn’t gone on my break earlier because she sent someone down to break me and that someone should have called and arranged that break with me. I told her that no one called, and certainly no one came down to my work area to relieve me so I could take my paid break. The manager pretty much told me “oh well.” So, as my colleague walked over to the other work area and the manager turned to leave, I called out to the manager and told her that I didn’t get my break and that in all honesty, we rarely get the breaks we are supposed to get in the work area where I work. I informed her that I had a lengthy conversation with my manager about this, but how it hadn’t been remedied. I again informed her how I was displeased that I did not get my break today and she said, “Oh, we’ll owe you one.”

She may as well have slapped me in my face or spit on me.

“Oh, we’ll owe you one.”

ONE?! If she “owed me one” for every break I ever missed (a lot of them on her shift, mind you), then I would need to be compensated for a 40 hour work week at the very least!

Right after she said this and walked away, I wanted to cry. I didn’t, but I really wanted to. At this point, my head was spinning so fast I was afraid I was going to knock something over. (And there is a lot of expensive shit in the area where I work…)

The real kicker was that I was supposed to leave in 15 minutes and since they pulled the colleague from my work area, there wasn’t going to be anyone in my work area once I left – and mind you, it was busy today.

I called the manager line right before I was supposed to leave (and unfortunately had to speak with the woman who insulted me mere minutes ago) and told her that I needed to leave and that there wasn’t going to be anyone there. She said that was fine.

I ended up not leaving on time because I had a huge line of people. So by time that line was gone, another colleague had made her way down and was going to cover my area. I thanked her and told her a brief version of what happened. She wished me a happy afternoon as I clocked out and pulled a granola bar out of my bag. I shoved that thing in my mouth so fast I almost choked. I was never so thankful that we only have escalators instead of stairs because I was so dizzy, I had to lean on the railing. Since I didn’t get a chance to fill up my water bottle, I was choking down lukewarm water, but I didn’t care at that point. I made it to my car, but sat for a minute to make sure I was okay to drive.

The drive home was colorful. I had on my neon pink sunglasses even though the skies weren’t sunny. I had my music turned up, but every other line or so, instead of singing the lyrics, I would just yell to myself “Oh, we’ll owe you one!” I was so pissed. I knew I would calm down eventually, but at that point in the car, I was just angry at the world.

I got home to find my mom outside painting near the garage. She looked at me and I just broke down. I tried to coherently explain what happened. I was just so frustrated. So, I cried. And I cursed. And I cried some more.

When I calmed down, I went inside and put on my pajamas. I then went to the kitchen and grabbed leftovers from dinner last night – steamed broccoli and chicken/garlic rice. God, I love broccoli. My mom sat down next to me and watched as I calmed down. We played some Yahtzee and my head stopped spinning a bit.

While she went to finish some chores, I went down to my room to finish my movie project I started the other day. When I finished, I went upstairs to find my mom had built a fire in the living room. I put on some Mad Men and my mom covered me with a blanket. Moms always know what to do ๐Ÿ™‚

I have calmed down a lot since this afternoon. I was just so frustrated. But, as my mom reminded me, this job isn’t my career and at least it pays the bills.

So, I am okay now… I watched the Community and Parks and Rec premieres. I missed those shows like whoa. Now we’re watching the X-Facter. I’m really not loving the show (even though I missed Simon), I just was hoping for some Glee promos. (None thus far – boo.) Dude, this Xander Alexander guy is RUDE. You don’t get to trash talk Bruno Mars or Simon. HelltotheNo

Well… I’m gonna finish watching the show, then I’m gonna read.

I work tomorrow and Saturday… but then I have Sunday off – woot!

Have a good one

Yep – my sister is engaged. Yay for her ๐Ÿ™‚ No date is set or anything, as I don’t think they are in a rush since they are both still in school, but yay for her and her fiance ๐Ÿ™‚

I wish I had exciting news about myself but I really don’t. Well, I did get a freelance writing gig that has to do with movies, so that’ll be fun… I have to submit my first assignment in by the 26th. Since I have off the next couple days, I’ll work on it Monday.

I had to work all afternoon. It went kinda quick… I was busy, but mostly because I was by myself for half of my shift and I was constantly being rushed from person to person to see what I could do to assist. I made my sales goal, thankfully, so hopefully my numbers for this week will be okay. That’s not what I’m most focused on, though (even though I’m sure some higher ups would argue against that). Since it is a Customer Service position, I really try to make sure I am doing all that I can to make sure the Customer is happy. And today was extra good in that area because everyone was super happy and thankful for my help and not one person walked away without everything they wanted/needed. So, that was good.

Shifting to another area of Customer Service for a second… and this (sadly) has been on my mind for most of the day. BUT, I figure this is as good a place as any to vent a bit about what I feel is poor Customer Service. Here goes – I don’t think that the people who are in charge of marketing and products for Glee really care much about their customers.

I posted awhile back how disappointed I was with the Wii Glee Karaoke Volume II and how there were only 20 songs on the game and how most of the awesome songs from the second half of season one were not included. I also posted awhile back how the Glee 3D movie really did not live up to its potential.

Now, I would like to vent for a little bit about the Glee Season Two Volume Two DVD set.

I love the Glee Music Jukebox on each disc. I love how there is an option to watch all of the music performances from the episodes on each disc. That gets a bit thumbs up from me.

However, I do not think that the bonus material included on the fourth disc is all that great. There were a few things that were okay… The BTS from the “New York” episode was good… I like getting to see how they shoot stuff and hear the casts opinions about the shoot. I thought the “Guesting On Glee” video was good too.

BUT, I was not pleased with the Sue and Santana montages of all of their stupid insults to other characters. That’s not new material. Know what else wasn’t new material? The “Stevie Nicks Does Glee” bit. This was already made available months ago on youtube. For once, I would love to see some interviews or Behind the Scenes footage from the whole season that I haven’t seen before. There was so much potential for interesting and informative material as bonus features… why couldn’t we get deleted scenes, or a gag reel, or commentary, or how about some information about the Warblers???? But no… instead we get a little video about how the auditorium set got built.

Whoop-de-frick’in-do.

Just sayin’… I think there was potential to have really awesome extras on the Glee DVDs. And once again, the people in charge of selecting material for the DVDs let us down with their utter lack of creativity and understanding of what fans want to see.

(End rant)

Well, I am tired… so I am going to read ๐Ÿ™‚

Emmys tomorrow night!!!!!!

Have a good one!