The (Character) Assassination of Blaine Anderson by the Cowards RIB

If you follow my blog, or keep tabs on me in real life, you’ll know that I used to post in-depth recaps of Glee. I stopped after Season 4 because I was getting so mad at the show. I’m still mad at the show and at this point I wish it would have just been cancelled already. It’s hard watching something I once loved get so far away from what it once represented and championed.

For those of you who don’t know, the RIB in the title of this post refers to Glee creators Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan and Brad Falchuk.

MAJOR SPOILERS for Glee Seasons 2-6. You have been warned.

I’ll say that again… MAJOR SPOILERS for seasons 2-6.

I should be working on another chapter of the book I’m writing. But instead, I’m typing this out because I feel I needed to get up on a soap box for a moment and express my utter discontent about Glee as we continue on in the hiatus between seasons 5 and 6.

At the moment, MyTV is rerunning Episodes 5.1 and 5.2. In 5.1, “Love, Love, Love,” the glee kids sing a bunch of Beatles songs but one of the bigger plot lines is that Blaine Anderson (Darren Criss) is planning a marriage proposal for his boyfriend, Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer).

Kurt and Blaine (referred to as “Klaine” by fans) have been a fan pairing since Blaine’s first appearance back in Season 2 (Episode 2.6, “Never Been Kissed”) and officially canon starting in 2.16 (“Original Song”). Their relationship has been punctuated with several meaningful moments – their first school dance together (2.10, “Prom Queen”), the first time they said I Love You (2.22, “New York”), when Blaine transferred to McKinley to go to school with Kurt (3.1, “The Purple Piano Project”), their first time having sex (3.5, “The First Time”), their first big fight (3.17, “Dance With Somebody”), their first break-up (4.4, “The Break Up”), their first big step toward reconciliation (4.8, “Thanksgiving”), Kurt’s dream sequence of them singing “Come What May,” i.e. the song they were planning to sing to each other at their wedding (4.15, “Girls [and Boys] on Film), when Blaine asks Kurt’s dad about proposing to Kurt (4.21, “Wonder-ful”), when Blaine buys Kurt’s engagement ring (4.22 “All or Nothing”), when Blaine and Kurt get back together and Blaine proposes to Kurt (5.1, “Love, Love, Love”), when Blaine and Kurt live together in NYC (5.14, “New New York”), when Blaine and Kurt have a huge fight and decide not to live together in NYC (5.16, “Tested”), when Blaine and Kurt have another fight but ultimately decide that loving and trusting each other is something they will choose to do and they move back in with each other (5.20, The Untitled Rachel Berry Project”).

And then we come to Season 6, which although is presently filming, won’t air until early 2015.

I don’t actively seek out spoilers (in fact, I’ve unfollowed a lot of people on Twitter and Tumblr to avoid spoilers), but plot points have still popped up on my dashboards and from what I’ve gathered, Season 6 starts off six months after Season 5 ends. Kurt has called off his engagement to Blaine, Blaine has flunked out of NYADA and moved back to Ohio and is now dating (living with?) David Karofsky. Yes, that same David Karofsky who used to bully Kurt (to the point of death threats) and whose only two interactions with Blaine have contained shoving matches where Blaine tried to stand up for/protect Kurt (2.6 and 2.17, “Night of Neglect”).

It has been increasingly harder to care about Glee the past few seasons, but this is really it for me. It is so frustrating when the show has taken my favorite character (Blaine) and has repeatedly committed epic character assassination. Not only is this a huge disservice to the fans; it’s an overall disservice to the people who have actively looked up to/cared about Klaine.

When Blaine was first introduced in 2.6, he was seen as a mature mentor and confidant for Kurt. Blaine was someone Kurt could talk to about being bullied and being out at school. Though his age/grade was never explicitly stated on the show, fans assumed Blaine was either a year ahead of Kurt or in the same grade as Kurt.

Season 3 was Kurt’s senior year of high school. It was revealed, however, in 3.2 (“I Am Unicorn”) that Blaine was a junior. And all of a sudden, the confidant Blaine disappeared and his character became a lot less confident, a lot more whiny and increasingly further away from the strong character he was introduced as. Flaws were a necessity to knock him off the pedestal Kurt had put him on, but the radical shift in character was inconsistent even with the already noticeable lack of character continuity on the show. (Among other things, it has since been revealed that Blaine was meant to be a junior in Season 2 and subsequently should have graduated when Kurt did. Fan theory is that because Blaine/Darren Criss were fan favorites, he was Benjamin Buttoned to be a junior in Season 3 to keep him around at McKinley for an extra season and a half.)

As mentioned before, Kurt and Blaine had their first huge fight in 3.17. Kurt was texting/flirting with another boy (Chandler) and it was making Blaine jealous and feel insecure about their relationship. He was already worried about losing Kurt when Kurt went away to NYC the following school year, and Kurt texting another boy was adding insult to injury. Kurt was jealous of Blaine with other guys twice before (Jeremiah in 2.12, “Silly Love Songs;” Sebastian in 3.5, “The First Time”), but his texting with Chandler was a bigger problem between them because of the impending distance issue. Kurt and Blaine came out of 3.17 seemingly stronger than ever with promises that distance was not going to be a problem.

Of course it was, though. As soon as Kurt got to NYC in Season 4, he and Blaine’s relationship became strained, driving Blaine to cheat on him. They officially broke up in 4.4 and it pretty much broke the fandom. (Note – I was there when they broke up. Some friends and I were at Battery Park while the Glee cast was shooting the scene where Blaine told Kurt that he was with someone else. There was a lot of tears from both the fans and the actors. It was a really emotional night watching my favorite tv couple – at the time – break up over and over and over again.)

Fans were hopeful, though. And so was Blaine. (Sadly, Blaine just said his line from 5.1, “Kurt and I will have a happy ending” as I’m typing this… Stab. Twist. Remove.) From then on, Blaine was insistent on earning back Kurt’s trust and getting Klaine back together. Even though I was dead-set on them getting engaged (the characters were too young), I was on board with them reuniting.

Since Klaine happened, their relationship became a big deal in the fandom and in the media. Criss and Colfer (dressed as Kurt and Blaine) were featured on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Klaine won several online polls about favorite couple, including Entertainment Weekly’s Greatest TV Couple of All Time. They were even nominated for a People’s Choice Award for Best On-Screen Couple. These young men were a positive representation of a gay relationship on television and inspired countless people. If you’ve seen the Glee 3D Concert movie, you can see clips of fans talking about how much they love Kurt and Blaine and Klaine. If you are into fanfiction, there are hundreds or thousands of stories revolving around Klaine. These characters matter to a lot of people. Though fictional, they were characters to root for. We fell in love with them as they fell in love with each other. And it was nice.

Until it wasn’t.

Kurt and Blaine went through some more relationship drama after they got engaged. Though bumpy, at least it was a depiction of the realistic ups and downs couples face (jealousy, miscommunication, needing space, etc…). They lived together. Then they didn’t live together. They dealt with STD testing (since Blaine had been with someone else). They dealt with making a home but also needing to make space for themselves. There were some decently written (and much needed) discussions between the characters and we saw them grow as men and as a couple.

But then all these rumors and spoilers for Season 6 started floating around and even the biggest Klainers were like NO.

Why are RIB tearing our beloved couple apart yet again? Is that really necessary to drive the story.

At this point, No.

Season 6 is Glee’s last/final season. With Rachel and Finn no longer an option for the show’s big couple, Klaine is basically it. And RIB is ripping them apart in the worst way possible. Not only by breaking them up, but by having Blaine dating Karofsky. (Annnnnnd, as I’m typing this, Blaine and Co are singing “All You Need is Love” to Kurt and then making the most romantic proposal speech in recent television history. Sigh.)

Having Blaine date Karofsky not only diminished Blaine as a character, but it seems like the ultimate disrespect to Kurt’s character as well. (Kurt has gotten the short end of the stick for pretty much all of his plot lines. No character has gone through more shit on Glee than him. He gets absolutely nothing handed to him and often has to overcome layers of obstacles just to break even. And don’t even get me started about how the NYC characters from Season 5 are all back in Lima in Season 6. Like, way to quash the characters’ hopes and dreams about growing and moving away from their small town to achieve their life goals.) I just can’t wrap my head around a plot that would make sense for Blaine to date Karofsky after Karofsky bullied (and then ultimately befriended) Kurt. You just don’t do that to a person who you love. You don’t date his tormentor. You don’t date the person who beat him up. You don’t date the person who threatened to kill him. You just don’t do it. And it doesn’t matter how reformed Karofsky is (because guess what, I liked Karofsky as soon as he got nice and began to accept himself) – you don’t write scripts where Karofsky and Blaine are dating.

But on top of that, you don’t write scripts where Karofsky and Blaine date each other if you still plan of having Blaine and Kurt get back together. Because you know that and Blaine are still going to get back together. And they’re probably going to get married. But at this point, I kind of actually don’t want that to happen.

Kurt and Blaine have been referred to the “Ross and Rachel” of Glee. I wish they were considered the “Monica and Chandler.” Because Monica and Chandler were the heart and soul of Friends. Ross and Rachel were the “will they/won’t they/who gives a flying f**k” couple. They never seemed to have their shit together and by the end of the series, I didn’t care if they did or did not get together.

I care about Kurt and Blaine. Or at least, I did much more than I do right now. And I think RIB used to too. But now they just seem to care about causing unnecessary drama on a show that already has too much drama and ruin the one great thing that it had going for it – a strong gay couple with fan-favorite characters. Sure, people are talking about it… but when everyone is talking about how much they wish the show was cancelled already or that they don’t want to watch anymore because everything we loved about the show has been tossed by the wayside. Well… that just seems like poor planning on RIB’s part.

Why piss off fans who have been loyal to Glee for 5 years? We, the fans who went to the live tour, bought the CDs, downloaded songs on iTunes, bought DVDs and Blu-rays, bought merchandise, increased visibility and notoriety of the people on the show… There are 13 episodes of this stupid show left. For all time. Why ruin it for the people who built you up from nothing? Why besmirch the integrity of the characters? Why destroy the happiness of the people who have stuck with you through time slot changes and shortened seasons? Sure, RIB will likely end up giving us what we wanted in the beginning (a Klaine wedding), but now it will just feel tainted.

Glee no longer brings me as much glee as it once did. It hasn’t for a long while now.

And yet I still watch. I’m too stubborn to give it up. Though I still enjoy the covers, I now hate-watch the shows and seethe about how the writers have almost entirely given up on everything that was once good about Glee.

 

Glee-cap – Season 4 Episode 19 – Sweet Dreams

This filler episode was definitely one I least enjoyed overall this season (which speaks volumes, because there have been more than several episodes this season that I thought were pretty Meh).

 

“Why do you continue to watch the show?” you ask.

 

Trust me, I ask myself this question all the time. If it weren’t for Darren Criss and those (usually) damn catchy covers, I would have stopped watching this show.

 

But, so long as Blaine Devon Anderson is still a character, I will watch. And I will continue to have delusionally high hopes that the next episode will get better and somehow recapture the magic that was The Pilot. I’m still waiting… and while I wait, I watch and take notes as I am underwhelmed by plot lines that the writers think we still care about.

 

Spoilers/Opinions ahead… ye be warned.

 

Glee already made us suffer through Gangnam Style earlier this season and then decided to throw in some Harlem Shuffle (Shake? Shuffle? Shake? I so was not hip to this fad earlier this year…) at us to show Finn enjoying his college life at The University of Lima (Which looked an awful lot like California… but production design, schmoduction design, am I right? *sigh*).

 

The episode started out VO heavy – Finn at college (wow, that application/acceptance process was fast…), Rachel in NYC (yapping on about her dream to be like Barbra and be the next Fanny Brice on Broadway in Funny Girl), and then later Marley talking about how she wants to be a singer-songwriter and perform her songs at Regionals. Blaine might have called himself “Honorary Rachel” later in the episode, but Marley (and her owl sweater) is a prime candidate as well. At least Marley is less annoying than Rachel… so, I can deal with this character shift.

 

Though there were five songs in the episode, the first half of the show was music-free. The writers used this time to give us plot. I’m one of those people who always begs for more plot but then gets disappointed when it’s Meh plot. (Shame on me, I know).

 

There was a lot of talk of the “fake school shooting” this episode and that made me a little weary. The person who seemed the most normally shaken up was Coach Beiste while everyone else kinda got weird. Tina started dressing Steampunk, Sam invented an Australian twin brother Evan Evans (Evan wore glasses… that is my biggest weakness.), Unique was taking birth control (I’m with Marley – I don’t think that’s healthy.), etc. Sue was gone (having taken the blame for Becky’s gun) and Roz was back to coach the Cheerios. And Will Schuester was back to being a douchebag.

 

Ugh. I liked it better when Will was off-screen in Washington DC fighting for the arts. He was doing much more for those glee kids not being on the show. Schue was nasty last night. He told them the theme for Regionals was “Dreams” and then gave them a list of songs with the word “Dream” in the title that they would be singing. Bor-ring. Marley Rose spoke up and said she wants to do original songs and he said NO. Will then restated that the New Directions were only going to Regionals on a technicality he thought that would shut them up.

 

It didn’t. Not really.

 

Blaine (“Honorary Rachel”) and the other glee kids held a secret glee club meeting to talk about how Mr. Schue’s songs were going to lose them Regionals. (He also pointed out they already sang “You Make My Dreams Come True” last season in a mash-up… We all remember that awesome moment of Hall & Oates gloriousness…). Marley presses for original songs, but is silenced by her peers.

 

Back at The U of L, Finn and Puck are running the place like they’ve been there for more than 5 minutes. (Yep – Puck is there. He’s not enrolled, but he’s there… and I’m glad Puck is there because I missed Puck. So, even with the crap plot, it was nice to see my favorite Puckerman again.) Will comes in while Finn is making grilled cheese with an iron and Puck is slip n’ sliding down the hallway. (Finn also acquired the bikini tops from two girls… I won’t even launch into my epic tirade about the objectification of women in a collegiate setting, but just know I have an entire monologue at my beck and call.) Will wants Finn to come back and to stop doing what he’s doing, but Finn says No and tells Mr. Schue that he can’t tell him what to do. Puck, on the other hand, is happier to see Mr. Schue and gives him a few hugs because Puck is precious and I wish he and Blaine had more screen time together last season because I could see Blaine, Sam and Puck (and Mike Chang too) hanging out and being besties – like, playing video games and dancing and stuff.

 

But I digress.

 

Back in Glee club, Blaine tells Mr. Schue that they have some alternative songs and Mr. Schue yells at Blainers and says he’s disappointed in him and says what he’s suggesting is unacceptable. (Mr. Schue also demeans Unique and her fake boobs after Unique hands a cutlet to Blaine and tells him he might need lady parts to confront their teacher.) So, after Mr. Schue bitches out all his kids, he tells them they have 5 minutes to get ready to rehearse his songs. After the leadership he showed last week during the shooting incident, this was an unwelcome return of the douchebag side of Will Schuester. No me gusta, Glee.

 

Then, in NYC, Rachel is practicing for her audition and Shelby (her birth mom, remember?) shows up. Apparently, Shelby lives in NYC now too (with Beth) and runs a Broadway daycare. Um… okay… and Shelby tells Rachel NOT to sing Babs at her audition. (Which, I agree with.) So, the mother/daughter pair sings “Next to Me” and I have never heard this song before ever and I kinda tuned out and wrapped my sister’s bachelorette party gift while they were singing. (#sorrynotsorry). I did take a time out from wrapping and managed to write “MEH” in my notes during this scene.

 

I wrote another “MEH” while Finn and Puck were singing “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!).” I like this song, but I just am so over the cliché of partying like an idiot during undergrad. And then when Puck and Finn (who are “apparently gay” since they were in glee club) got asked to be in a frat without having to pledge or anything, I’m like “really?”.

 

Back at McKinley, Marley asked Unique, Sam and Blaine to sing a song with her that she “wrote” after Mr. Schue yelled at all of them. Though riddled with cheesy lyrics, they sing “You Have More Friends Than You Know” and I couldn’t help but smile because it was nice to see the four of them sing together. The song was about self-acceptance and friendship (lines like “Who you are is okay” and “You’re not alone” [which was sung by Blaine… obviously], and “Those who love you the most may need more time to grow” were scattered throughout the song) and it was very fitting for these kids to be singing.

 

When they were done flawlessly sight reading Marley’s song, Blaine said that it was incredible and Sam asked if there were more songs. Blaine wants to tell everyone and Mr. Schue about Marley’s songs, but she says No because he already said he wasn’t interested in hearing ideas from them. BUT, Mr. Schue walked in on their performance, so he heard how “good” the song was and then how he was a crappy teacher (my words, not theirs).

 

Later, while Finn is contemplating hooking up his computer, he gets a call from Rachel. She’s not mad about what he did to Brody’s face, asks him how college is (she’s surprised to hear Puck is there) and then tells him she needs to ask him something. Without provocation, he remembers her Funny Girl audition (which, as much as I dislike Finchel as this point because I don’t care about Rachel in the slightest) and I’ll give that up as a sweet moment for Finchel fans because although Finn is an idiot, he knows what’s important to him in the long run. And apparently it’s Rachel. (Oy.) She asks for a song recommendation and he quickly tells her to sing something personal that defines her that will make the producers fall in love with her.

 

So, at the open audition/cattle call for Fanny Brice, Rachel sings “Don’t Stop Believing.” Though it’s a Rachel solo, she imagines Finn, Artie, Kurt, Tina and Mercedes are there (in their red outfits from the pilot) to back her up/sing with her. I liked the similar choreography and camera angles that were used in the pilot, but I didn’t really think this was wholly fitting of Rachel’s character. See – after she was done singing, the guy that played Weisel in the Newsies movie (yeah, you know it…) asked her what changed while she was singing. And she said that while she was singing, she thought about her friends believing in her.

 

Ugh.

 

Rachel Berry is so self-absorbed sometimes, you know? She always ends up getting whatever she wants (which in this episode, means a callback for Fanny Brice…) and always has her friends to boost her up. But what does she do for others? I mean… wasn’t Kurt supposed to have an audition too? (Remember – HE signed them both up.) But Rachel gets into NYADA with the help of her friends. She got Prom Queen because of her friends. She gets everything. It’s really tiresome watching her fail for two seconds, but then get handed the moon and whatever else she wants mere moments later.

 

Back in Lima, Puck wakes up Finn and scolds him for not going to class. I love that Puck has had pretty much the most character growth throughout this series. He gives Finn a lecture about how they are worth more than people say they are and that he is going to hang around and make sure Finn goes to class. I missed you, Puck.

 

At McKinley, Blaine and Becky are called into Coach Roz’s office where she says they are suspicious – especially Blaine (“Fruity Fonzie”). She says he’s never done a Cheerio routine, and somehow he’s a co-captain and that weeks after he gets that position, Sue is fired. Roz tells Blaine he used fruity voodoo and that he best not use that on her. She makes both Blaine and Becky repeat after her and we get one of the funnier moments of the night when both co-captains say “neeeeeeeeeever” just like Roz – with all that sass and attitude. (I’m sure there were great outtakes from this scene. But alas, Glee never gives us a Blooper Reel.)

 

Blaine notices that Becky gets skittish when the topic of Sue’s firing/the gun comes up and he questions her in the hallway. She tells him, “Mind your own gay business, gay Blaine” and it’s painfully obvious that other Cheerios and their coaches only identify him by his sexual preference. *sigh* For a show about inclusion, they really celebrate those characters who mostly spew negative dialogue.

 

Finn comes back to McKinley to say that he’ll work with Will again for college credit so long as he’s treated like an equal. And for those of you who cared about the Will/Finn friendship (I didn’t, but I’m sure there are people who do…) – they are back on. Will then walks into the choir room and starts complimenting the kids, giving him a deserved side-eye from Blainers who is still reeling about being yelled at several scenes ago. The glee instructor then prattles on about when he was in glee club and we get an exquisite close up of Jake Puckerman reacting to that scary picture of Mrs. Adler. (I actually laughed out loud. This was the one and only moment of the episode where that happened.)

 

Will then says he loves the kids and to show his love, he brings Finn back into the room and everyone applauds because having Finn back is basically like winning the lottery. Marley is then asked to share her original songs with everyone else and the room explodes again. (I would love to see those kids on Oprah’s Favorite Things episode.) Sam gets so excited he alternates between giving Blaine and Artie High 5s. On his second High 5 motion toward Blaine, Sam almost hit Blaine in the face. This was actually my #1 favorite moment of the episode. I hope it was an improv moment between the actors because it was such an adorable Blam moment and it was really fitting for their relationship (remember after “Heroes” when they both shoved each other in the head… this reminded me of that).

 

And then we had the scene where Rachel was bitching about not getting a callback call yet, but then she got the callback call. Kurt was in this scene and he was baking and eating cookies. I think the lack of Kurt in these past few episodes is going to be made up tenfold in the finale couple episodes… just sayin.

 

The final scene was all the New Directions kids singing some song called “Outcasts” (I think.) It was okay with cheeseball lyrics. (That was verbatim what I wrote in my notes.)

 

And then the show was over and I was relived. Mark this one down as another episode I’ll never have to watch all the way through ever again.

 

The promo was actually the highlight of the night. I (as well as the rest of the Internet) was NOT expecting to see Blaine in short green shorts, black leggings and a black tank top jazzercising in Sue’s class. He also interrogates Becky about the gun thing, but I’m pretty sure all that mattered in that 30 second clip (which also featured the NYC gang and a power outage at McKinley) was Blaine in that outfit. Ryan Murphy is apparently a bigger Darren/Blaine Stan than the whole of the fandom. The odds were ever in our favor when that kid was cast…

 

Thoughts? 

 

Glee-cap – Season 4 Episode 18 – Shooting Star

So, yeah… Glee got a little lot intense last night. This is going to be a weird recap, as there were only 3 songs and I thought this episode had some of the best and worst moments in Glee’s history.

 

As you probably know by now, the show revolved around (SPOILERS) gun shots being fired off at school and the over-arching theme of “tell those you love that you love them because time is running out.”

 

 

This is going to be jumbled – much like my feels during the show – so here we go…

 

 (SPOILERS)

Songs:

 

Your Song – Ryder

 

Ryder’s catfish plot is still unresolved and I’m over it as much as the rest of you. He thought he saw Katie in the hallway, so he took her to the choir room and sang Your Song to her. If you’re like me, you thought he did an okay job but wished the writers would have allotted this epic romantic ballad to Blaine for Kurt in some future episode. But, what’s done is done.

 

After the song, the girl was like, “my name’s not Katie – I’m Marissa” and whoever this Katie person is has used Marissa’s face for all prior acts of communication. Ryder is livid and thinks Jake or Marley is Katie and their doing it on purpose to make him look like an idiot as revenge for liking Marley.

The camera angles and jarred camera movements, I was worried for a half a second they were setting Ryder up to be the one with the gun. He was upset, but didn’t seem upset enough to shoot/hurt someone or himself. Luckily, when the gun went off, he was in the choir room with most of the rest of the New Directions. During the crisis, he called Katie and a phone inside the choir room rang and rang, but it was in a backpack, so we don’t know whose it is. I’m betting it’s Jake or Unique. (Kitty said it wasn’t her.)

 

Near the end of the episode, Ryder was supposed to meet Katie outside the choir room at 3:30 but she never showed up. He looked angsty and ran off to the auditorium to join the rest of the New Directions for their final song.

 

 

More Than Words – Sam, Brittany and New Directions

 

Brittany started off the episode by saying an asteroid/meteor/comet/whatever was headed their way and that they should all be preparing for only having a few days left. Everyone (but Sam) groaned and they brought up how she said pretty much the same thing at Christmas.

 

But, since Mr. Schue placates horrible plot points, he makes their Glee assignment “Last Chances” so you can say what you want to say to the people you love because any moment it could be your last.

 

Brit takes this seriously and wants to make amends with Lord Tubbington. Sam is a little perturbed that Brit would rather profess her love to a cat than him, but he’s the best BF ever and tells her she should bring her cat to school so they could all sing to it.

 

And so Sam, Brit and the New Directions sing “More Than Words” and everyone is like WTF when Brit sings to the cat instead of Sam. (Did you see Blaine turn around and look at his forlorn bff? I did…)

 

During the gun shot crisis, Brittany is not in the choir room with everyone else and Sam gets worried. REAL worried… to the point where he makes several attempts to leave the room and find Brittany. It was really heartbreaking when Coach Beiste and Mr. Schue had to physically restrain Sam and make him sit on the floor near Artie and Blaine.

 

Brittany was safe during the crisis – she was hiding in a bathroom stall. Heather Morris’s performance in this scene was tied for most gut wrenchingly sad moment of the night. My mouth just kind of hung open in horror as she stood on the toilet seat, silently crying. That was really profound and was one of the best (if not most dramatic) moments in Glee history.

 

Mr. Schue found Brittany and two other students in the bathroom and lead them back to the choir room. Sam and Brit were reunited and later in the episode they told each other they loved each other and Sam got her another cat – Lady Tubbington.

 

 

Say – Blaine, Ryder and New Directions

 

 At the end of the episode, the New Directions gathered on the stage to sing this super sad and poignant John Mayer song. It literally hammers home the theme of saying what you mean to say to people before it’s too late. The message is strong and it was an appropriate ending for the show. New Directions group numbers have been some of the strongest performances of the season and this was no exception.

 

Worst moments from the episode:

 

The scene between Coach Beiste and Mr. Schue in the locker room.

 

I love the two of them as friends, but I don’t get how they can write her character being in love with him when she’s been so happy for/supporting of him and Emma in previous episodes. There are lot more awful things I could say about this, but I don’t have the time or patience to write them right now.

 

 

Becky’s Got a Gun

 

So, it was obvious when Sue confessed to it being her gun that she was covering for someone. And that someone was Becky… who brought her father’s loaded gun to school.

 

I’m surprised there wasn’t a PSA about how you shouldn’t keep a loaded gun in the house – especially one that is accessible to children. I’m less shocked, though still annoyed, that there was no consequences for Becky for having the gun. Are we just supposed to forgive that character for her accidental wrong doing because of her Down Syndrome? Are we supposed to brush this off like “oh, maybe she didn’t know better”? Is everything now going to be okay and just go back to normal because it was all just a big misunderstanding?

 

Accident or not, there were lessons to be learned from Becky bringing a loaded gun to school. Glee gets preachy about a lot of stuff, but somehow managed to overlook the bigger issue of why Becky felt a gun was the only way to protect herself from the future.

 

Also, I didn’t care for Sue’s “I did all this great stuff but I’ll only be remembered for this” speech. If you’re so worried about your reputation, then don’t take the fall for Becky. * shrug *

 

 

Brittany’s Comet

 

I’m sad they made Brittany say the dumbest things on this show. She used to just have witty one-liners… but when they write epic monologues about dumb things, I tune out and wish she would go back to being the quiet one who just dances really well.

 

 

Blina

 

I get that Blaine was worried about Tina and Tina was worried about Blaine because they were apart during the incident. But, their scene in the hallway was actually a bit of a turn off for me. Is Blaine Tina’s only friend in the glee club? And while I get that friends are touchy-feely like that – especially after something traumatic – but Blina gets more physical contact at school than Klaine did while they were dating. Someone who tuned into last night’s show probably thinks that Blaine and Tina are together. And while I am well aware that Klaine was not a story line during last night’s show (nor should it have been… I was thankful NYC was not part of the episode and that Kurt was not mentioned once), I think that they’re turning Blaine into a more

 

 

The best moments from the episode:

 

The entire gunshot sequence in the choir room and bathroom.

 

This was the most impressed I’ve been by dramatic performances from the cast during the entire run of the series. While everyone brought something to the table, I was most affected by Heather Morris, Chord Overstreet and Darren Criss.

 

Heather Morris – My heart broke more and more with each passing second that Brittany stood on top of that toilet and silently cried. When another gunshot went off and she ducked a bit with fear before crying some more… my mouth was literally just hanging open. At this point, you weren’t aware that there were two other students in other stalls, so you just thought Brittany was alone. It was terrifying and HeMo really brought it.

 

Chord Overstreet – Sam could not stay put because Brittany wasn’t there and he was scared for her safety. Sam is easily one of the most selfless and caring characters on the show and when you see him upset, it’s more upsetting because you know he blames himself for not being able to help someone else. It was really intense when Sam tried to break out of Coach Beiste and Mr. Schue’s hold to leave the choir room to get to Brittany. Arms were flailing and tears were flowing. This was one of the least vain sequences in Glee and I’m grateful the actors were willing and able to get there.

 

Darren Criss – I freely admit to being 100% biased and focusing on him during group scenes. (Full disclosure – he is the #1 reason why I still watch the show.) But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t know when he’s giving a good or bad performance. (Because trust me, not all his moments on Glee have been his finest work…) However, I was wholly impressed by his ability to play small moments with little/no dialogue. Darren’s face is very expressive, but he is able to use body language to let audiences completely understand what’s going on in Blaine’s mind. Blaine physically closed in on himself last night – arms were crossed, knees were clutched, head was down. When his face crumbled, I got sad. When his eyes plead for others to stop as his small voice begged for a phone to be shut off, or when he tearfully said hello to his mom over the phone once everyone was given the all clear, I just wanted to reach through the TV and give the kid a hug. We were also blessed with some small Blam moments – their friendship is my favorite on the show and I’m grateful when we are reminded of how much they care for each other and lookout for each other.

 

 

This was definitely not my favorite episode of Glee, nor will I ever actively watch the whole episode ever again. I was impressed with the drama of the choir room scene, but was not a huge fan of the more “lighthearted” stuff during the episode (and I’m over the catfish plot… just sayin).

 

It’s a show called “glee,” but if they are willing to make the audience terrified and give us high drama, at least have the decency to just commit to the high drama. The Glee writers are not quite capable of what the HIMYM writers can do – they can do high comedy and high drama well in one episode. Glee cannot.

 

 

Glee-cap – Season 4 Episode 17 – Guilty Pleasures

Glee was infinitely more tolerable this week due to a majority of the episode centering on Blaine and Sam’s friendship and their ability to work together and lead the rest of the Glee club in Mr. Schue and Finn’s absence.

 

The theme of this week’s episode was “Guilty Pleasures.” Upon watching the episode, you figure that the writers probably went around the room and said what their guilty pleasures because no high school kid these days is a Fanilow (sorry Sam!), whereas people from my generation and above are (as in, I am a Fanilow… I have a well worn copy of Barry Manilow’s Ultimate Hits… but I’m also 10+ years older than the characters on this show). This episode was obviously catering to the guilty pleasures of older writers/producers when they had a Small Wonder reference. I would wager if you asked any high school kid if they know what Small Wonder was, they would have no idea. A few months ago I asked a 21 year old about The Wonder Years and he had NO IDEA what I was talking about. So… yeah. This episode was for us older gleeks, though I’m sure the younger crowd didn’t mind all the Blam on this week’s episode of Blee.

 

It’s been working out good doing my glee-cap around the songs, so let’s do that again this week…

 

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – Blaine and Sam (w/New Directions)

 

At the start of the episode, Blaine cornered Sam at his locker and tried to give him $50 for food because he saw Sam stealing pasta from the school’s kitchen. Sam caves and says he’s not stealing the noodles to eat, but to create art. He shows Blaine a room full of pasta art, complete with a very well done portrait of Kurt. Blaine is taken aback and muses, “The macaroni really captures him,” starting off an episode chock-full of great Blam quotes.

 

Once Sam gets his guilty pleasure off his chest, he asks Blaine to share what his guilt pleasure is. We all know Blaine’s guilty pleasure is Sam, especially with all those close ups of his eyes and those lips. But, Blaine balks and says he loves Wham! and that Wham! is his favorite band of all time. (I would argue Blaine probably does love Wham! – especially since he likely helped Kurt do one of their songs for his NYADA application, but we all know he was lying in the moment to spare himself from humiliation and potentially ruining his friendship with Blaine).

 

Tina interrupts and says that Mr. Schue is sick, to which Sam asks if she is going to straddle him while he’s passed out and rub his chest with ointment. Tina claims it was just a phase while Sam and Blaine get a decent chuckle out of what was probably one of the most awkward/creepy moments in television history.

 

Blaine and Sam have all the glee kids gather in the choir room. Though they have no teacher, Blam gives the glee kids an assignment to sing guilty pleasure songs. They got the idea when Blaine told Sam about Wham (“Shooting the crap like brothers do…”) and say that by sharing their musical shame, they can be cohesive and use it as team building.

 

When the other kids are initially not for the idea, Blaine and Sam unzip their hoodies to reveal their “Choose Life” 80s t-shirts and instantly we are transported on stage to the whole of New Directions in bright colored shorts, shirts and skirts singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.”

 

I’m grateful I saw the video of this the other day because I might have had a heart attack at all the 80s awesomeness and the fact that Blaine had Darren hair and was wearing short blue shorts and an earring. All the dancing made me laugh and gave me some flashbacks to my youth. It was a fun and up-beat performance and I was giggling the entire time.

 

 

Copacabana – Sam

 

Continuing with the Blam storyline, Sam pulls Blaine aside in the locker room by saying, “Put some pants on, I need to talk to you.” (Their friendship is PRICELESS.) When Sam gets all shifty, Blaine jumps to the conclusion he’s hoping for as he asks, “Do you have feelings for me?” Sam quickly says No but still acts all weird until Blaine finally gets him to blurt out that he likes Barry Manliow. Sam has several monologues about Manilow throughout the episode, but this one ends with “It’s like he’s talking right to me.”

 

You can tell Blaine thinks Sam is nuts for being a Fanilow, but tells him he needs to come out about it to the other glee kids. Sam looks worried, but later in class, he flat out tells everyone that he loves Barry Manilow and then rattles off a laundry lists of why (amazing performer and songwriter, underappreciated, great hair, etc…). Sam ends his rambling with “This is who I am and I make no apologies.”

 

Nor should you, Sam.

 

So, Sam puts on those crazy arm things you see people wear on DWTS and sings Copacabana. And guess what? ALL the glee kids know it and join in because everyone and their mom knows that song. Blaine calls Sam brave for singing that, but soon the rest of the glee guys admit to being Fanilows too.

 

 

Against All Odds – Blaine

 

After Sam sings his Manilow jam, he approaches Blaine in the library (the kid was reading a Goosebumps book, for crying out loud… which a lot of people are taking to be an Easter Egg w/regard to Klaine because Blaine is reading “The Phantom in the Auditorium” and Kurt did that PotO number last season…). Sam tells Blaine it’s his turn to admit his guilty pleasure because he has talked the talk, but has yet to “Walk the walk, pilgrim.” (Oh Sam and your John Wayne impressions trying to use humor to make Blaine laugh/feel less awkward about the whole situation… besties, yo.) Encouraging his friend to be honest, Sam tells Blaine that he needs to set an example for the glee club.

 

So, in the auditorium a little later, Blaine sits at a piano on stage and plays a moving rendition of the Phil Collins CLASSIC Against All Odds. Darren sang that live and accompanied himself on piano. Though it wasn’t as heartbreaking as Teenage Dream in 4×4, it was still pretty great. There was no way to do that kind of song/performance pre-recorded, and Darren is talented and capable enough to do that live-to-tape.

 

The whole of the glee club is in the audience, but we keep getting shots of Blaine looking over at Sam and Sam watching Blaine’s every move. It’s a devastating song and I can see why it was used for the show.

 

I saw some people grumbling about how Blaine is singing this love song about Sam. Blaine’s not in love with Sam the way he is in love with Kurt. I think the pain Blaine was feeling was from his own internal conflicts – knowing that having a crush on a straight person is not going to amount to anything, knowing that having a crush on his straight best friend could potentially ruin their friendship, and having feelings for Sam while having feelings for Kurt.

 

A lot of the lyrics of the song apply perfectly to the Blam relationship. For example, “You’re the only who really knew me at all.” Since Kurt left, Sam is the only person in Blaine’s life who seems to know him inside and out and still loves him unconditionally because of or in spite of this knowledge.

 

And what about this whole verse:

 

I wish I could just make you turn around,

turn around and see me cry

There’s so much I need to say to you,

so many reasons why

You’re the only one who really knew me at all

 

Blaine is obviously struggling about whether he should tell Sam or not about the crush. He wants to tell Sam because Sam is his best friend. He needs to tell Sam because keeping it in will eventually break Blaine and likely put a strain on their relationship. Blaine just doesn’t have the confidence in himself to trust that if he tells Sam his secret, Sam is going to be okay with it. Sam is friends with pretty much everyone, whereas Blaine is not – and I think that’s his own doing. We the audience still don’t know all that much about him, which leads me to believe that the writers have made him this surfacely friendly person/people pleaser who keeps his own business to himself. Sam sees through that, though, because Sam cares about Blaine. This is seriously one of the best examples of male friendship in any show I watch on a regular basis.

 

When Blaine finishes his song, Tina asks who it’s about and Blaine immediately says Kurt, but also Phil Collins. He goes on about how he’ll spread his music and ends with, “I am no longer in the closet about my love for Phil Collins.” Sam does not believe Blaine’s words and you KNOW he’s going to call him out on it…

 

… Which he does. Sam finds Blaine at the piano on stage a while later and they have conversation about musical guilty pleasures that they both know is really about them. Sam takes the reins on the conversation and addresses the elephant in the room. He says Blaine doesn’t have to be uncomfortable and that he knows that he is Blaine’s guilty pleasure. He then says how he knows Blaine is into guys and that he himself is an attractive guy, so he would have been offended if Blaine wasn’t into him. Though Sam was joking to put Blaine at ease, he was completely serious when he told Blaine that nothing was going to change between them. He says the attention feels good and says that it’s flattering. In true Sam Evans-style, he tells Blaine that they need to hug it out and the boys wrap each other in a huge hug, with Blaine smiling brightly, eyes closed, as he embraces his best friend.

 

After a few moments, Sam sports a frown and says, “Please tell me that’s a pack of Lifesavers in your pocket.” Blaine says no, that they’re breath mints, and asks if Sam wants one. Sam says Yes and Blaine takes the roll of mints out of his pocket and each boy pops a mint into his mouth. It was a great – albeit cheesy – to diffuse the entire situation and really the whole crush on Sam should be over by this point. If anything is mentioned again, it’ll be a joke/teasing situation. This plot line should have been wrapped up during “Naked,” as there were no instances of Blaine’s crush since then, but at least it got resolved.

 

Now we just need all the Blam all the time.

 

 

Wannabe – Kitty, Brittany, Marley, Tina and Unique

 

Brittany approaches Kitty near the top of the episode and tells her that everyone hates her and she’s mean. She says Kitty should use her powers for good and not evil and invites her on Fondue for Two. The girls chat and start talking about guilty pleasures. The Bring it On movies are brought up (woot) and then Kitty whispers her musical guilty pleasure to Brit. Tina – who watches Fondue for Two – demands to know what Kitty’s guilty pleasure is and Brittany tells her it’s the Spice Girls. All the glee girls are like, “omg, me too!” and they plot to sing a Spice Girls song and try to figure out which Spice Girl they should be.

 

The girls perform Wannabe and everyone is happy because that song (and the Spice Girls) is awesome. During the song, Artie is hardcore eyeing Kitty and at the end, he remarks how he’s never seen her so happy.

 

The best part about this number was the band. The drummer side-eyed the girls and my favorite band dude was back, rocking a keytar, no less.

 

 

My Prerogative – Jake

 

Jake was going to sing a Chris Brown song until ALL the glee girls hound him for wanting to sing his music. Jake makes the perfectly legit argument saying that he likes Chris Brown’s music, but not Chris Brown (which is exactly how I feel about Chris Brown) and how people should be able to separate the art from the artist. The girls say that they should never do a Chris Brown song (though, remember Season One they sang “No Air,” so too late…).

 

When it’s Jake’s turn to sing, he opts to sing a Bobby Brown song, “My Prerogative.” I liked his dance moves, but his voice bothers me when he doesn’t sing low.

 

Silly Jake was unaware that Bobby Brown is pretty much just as bad as Chris Brown, since it’s believed he’s the one who got Whitney Houston started on drugs. Marley was still made at Jake’s insensitiveness, but they kiss in the hall anyway. Meh.

 

 

Creep – Brody and Rachel

 

So, Santana is living with Kurt and Rachel now because Brody moved out. She is still snarky as always and says she’ll break her pact with Kurt and tell Rachel about Brody. Kurt says she can’t do that until after her Funny Girl audition. As of that point in the plot, Brody left without saying why but said they’ll always be friends. Santana knows the truth, but tries to stay on Rachel’s good side by saying the two of them should prank Kurt. They opt for the “hand in warm water” trick and find him in his bed, wrapped in a “boyfriend pillow” (i.e. a pillow with an arm you can wrap around yourself). They immediately pick on him, but he says it was purchased while on Ambien (does he need an Intervention). He named his pillow “Bruce” and says he’s exclusive (which I take to mean that Adam and Kurt have never shared a bed…).

 

Later, Kurt gets Santana and Rachel pillows and Rachel calls the pillow weird, saying she doesn’t need it b/c she’s going to get back together with Brody. Santana loses it and says that Brody was a gigolo, which Rachel doesn’t believe. Rachel asks Kurt if it’s true and if he knew, but he doesn’t say anything (even though she can totally tell he was withholding information).

 

(Kurt withholds information a lot…  He didn’t have a huge role in this episode, but we did get a VO about his own guilty pleasures. Not was one of Kurt’s guilty pleasures his boyfriend pillow, but he also wear a Richard Simmons outfit while he sweats to the Oldies. The fandom exploded at the sight of Kurt’s legs in those shorts and everything else going on in those shorts…)

 

Rachel approaches Brody at a class and gives him some money, saying she was hoping she could have dinner with him. (Low blow, Rachel, even for you.) She says she was an idiot because they said they’d be honest with each other. Brody calls her out on not being honest with him about sleeping with Finn at the wedding. He then tells her that Finn was the one who came and beat him up (which she still didn’t know) and says that he knows she is still in love with Finn. Rachel was sure Santana was the one who ratted her out, but he just knew.

 

In a rare moment of self clarity, Rachel says that she used her relationship with Brody to make Finn jealous and to fill her own heartache. Brody asks if they are over and Rachel says, “Yeah, it feels like it is.”

FINALLY.

 

They then sang “Creep” and I wrote in my notes NO1CURRS and “ugh, just give me Blam already.”

 

I like this song, but I thought it was not used well on the show with all the slow motion and whatnot.

 

 

Mamma Mia – Everybody in NYC and Lima

 

Kurt and Santana are watching a Facts of Life marathon when Rachel gets back. She says that her and Brody are officially over and thanks Santana for what she did. Kurt tells Rachel not to be sad and that he named her boyfriend pillow for her (Colin – after the kid in The Secret Garden). Rachel said she’s not sad, and that she’s ready to date older guys. (REALLY? Did you not just get out of a bad relationship with an older guy? Because that is literally what just happened 5 minutes ago…)

 

She also says they are going to watch movies and she plays the pity card to get then to watch Mamma Mia. And then everyone sings Mamma Mia (which is totally one of my favorite ABBA songs) and the NYC kids frolic about their apartment while the Lima kids are in ABBA-outfits (and poor Blainers’s hair is flat-ironed out, making him look like Pete Wentz’s long-lost brother…).

 

The most notable moment during this song was a tie between Kurt tripping over his hula hoop and Kurt throwing a hula hoop in NYC and Blaine catching a hula hoop in Lima. People on the blogs went bat-shit.

 

So, yeah…

 

I enjoyed this episode for all the Blam and its epic lack of Mr. Schue and Finn.

 

We are now on a 3 week hiatus until the last 5 episodes. I’m ready for this season to be over. And I’m okay if Blaine and Kurt are not back together by the end of it… however, I would like an update on Papa Hummel’s cancer. (Right?)

 

Thoughts?

 

Glee-cap – Season 4 Episode 13 – Diva

Wow, Glee. Two of your last three episodes have been pretty degrading with regard to the portrayal of some of your female characters. I yelled at my television multiple times… mostly when Tina was on screen. Someone needs to give her the “no means no” speech.

 

Spoilers and heated opinions ahead if you haven’t seen the episode already.

 

The show started off in NYC at Kurt and Rachel’s “Free Sing” class where Rachel seemed to have bogarted all the free time. Kurt’s VO revealed what we already knew – that Rachel has an out of control ego. He gave an epic monologue about how she’s a bad roommate and you honestly can’t blame him for wanting to take her down a few pegs. This scene also introduced us to the other gay guys in their program – gay guys who seem to love Rachel like she was the second coming of Barbra.

 

In Lima, Emma was stressed out about her upcoming wedding to Will (i.e. next week’s episode). Finn found her in the teacher’s lounge and they talk a bit about wedding stuff, and then segue to glee club because Finn thought Will would want the club back right away. Finn was worried about Regionals because it was a much bigger deal than Sectionals. He went on to say that they needed someone with attitude like Rachel and Mercedes were last year. Emma mentioned Blaine (yes, Emma… you are so wise), but then suggested they do a Diva Week to find their inner powerhouse. Wade/Unique and the glee girls challenge each other on who is the biggest diva while elbow patch-wearing Blainers kept trying to pipe in “guys can be divas too.”

 

So, the glee girls and Blaine have their own sort of diva-off… they all are dressed in some sort of couture and doing a lot of ANTM poses while they sing Beyonce’s “Diva.” They also act like jerks to other members of the glee club who are trying to help them get ready for the runway. The song goes “a diva is the female version of a hustler.” So… where does that leave Unique and Blaine? While all the girls looked fierce in their diva outfits, I not so secretly stared at Blaine the whole time. Blaine, donned in an Adam Lambert ensemble, also sported something else we rarely see on Glee… curly hair. Why do the Glee Hair & Makeup people insist on gelling that down?

 

Back in NYC, Kurt and Rachel have a spat in their kitchen when she tells him to make her some tea. Kurt called her out on being a nightmare and she countered back that he’s jealous because the only reason her got an audition was because they are friends. He reminded her that his audition blew her out of the water and then challenged her to Midnight Madness (which Brody will later describe as NYADA Fight Club… though tragically less violent :/).  Rachel scoffed and said she already beat him in one diva-off (Remember when the show was good and they sang “Defying Gravity” in S1? *sigh*). Kurt FINALLY revealed that he threw the competition and could hit the High F. Rachel was stunned because she thought she won fair and square (HA – no) and was equally shocked when Kurt said he did it to protect his dad.  Kurt then told her he wasn’t throwing anything this time around.

 

Back in Lima, Blainers was at his locker looking ill and blowing his nose into a tissue. (It is a crime how adorable Sick!Blaine is…). Still-in-love-with-Blaine Tina marched up to him and gave him a cold fighting kit, which he thanked her for but said he couldn’t take the cold medicine because it would make him woozy. And, being the consummate performer that he is, Blaine couldn’t be less than 100% for his Freddie Mercury number he was going to do for the glee club to show then that guys can be divas too.

 

Cut to Blaine (wearing leather pants, a leather jacket and a jauntily placed leather hat) at the piano singing my favorite Queen song of all time – “Don’t Stop Me Now.” I actually wrote in my notebook, “omg – my lady parts,” which ended up in a scribble as soon as Blaine stood up and kicked over the piano bench. I was unprepared for the air guitaring and the knee bend on the floor… and then I drew a couple pictures of hearts in my notebook and felt like I was in high school again. In my completely biased opinion, this was one of the greatest moments/musical numbers in the history of Glee. If only the rest of the episode were as enjoyable as these 2 minutes… Alas.

 

After Blaine’s inspired performance, Finn and Emma go on some more about divas. Finn compared divas to the Loch Ness Monster or Sméagol. I chuckled at this because to stereotype, divas are supposed to be these beautiful, powerful, headstrong women… and he compared them to monsters and former hobbits.

 

Finn also (re)introduced another diva to the group – Santana. Dressed in her Kentucky college Cheerio uniform, she and some other Cardinal Cheerios sang and danced to “Nutbush City Limits.” As I wrote “take us to CHURCH, Santana” in my notes, I wished we got to hear more of Naya’s voice in seasons past and present. Girl can sing. End of story.

 

Brittany didn’t look super happy to see Santana, but all the boys were certainly ogling her. However, when the song ended, Brit called it the greatest moment in show choir history, but then said she was mad that she didn’t know Santana was in town. Santana turned it on her and said she was mad Brittany didn’t tell her she was dating Sam. (There was a flashback, and it was EVIL TINA who called Santana up and said “One word – Bram.” This was only one of several moments I wanted to smack some sense into Tina during the episode.) Santana then announced to the room that she was dating one of the other Cheerios – Elaine – and said she was out and proud, etc. I instantly smelled a ruse.

 

Back at NYC, Brody told Rachel about NYADA Fight Club/Midnight Madness and said the winner would get the ultimate bragging rights. The other gay guys from Free Sing class talked smack about Kurt to Rachel and she defended him, but not enough to make them stop. Kurt overheard and stood up for himself, “Me, my outfits and turtle face aren’t going anywhere.” (Four for you, Kurt Hummel. Stick up for yourself…. How sad was it that he was getting bullied by people who were exactly like him in every way? Kid can’t catch a break.)

 

Meanwhile, in Emma’s office, she’s giving him a bit of a pamphlet intervention about how Rachel is moving on (her Facebook status is “shacking up,” so she and Brody are obviously super serious at playing house… If I were Finn, I would run in the opposite direction from all things Rachel Berry and start fresh with a less self-involved person. Just sayin’…). Emma tried to talk up the new Math sub as a potential love interest for Finn. He shook her off and commented how Mr. Schue was a lucky guy. Emma then asked Finn to help her pick the centerpiece for the wedding… blue or white flowers. Finn vetoed blue (“color of sad”) and opted for white (“color of pure – like you”) and I scribbled in my notes “this will not end well.” (I wish I weren’t right… but I totally was :/)

 

In the auditorium, Sam found Santana waiting for him on the stage and they have a confrontation about Brittany like she’s some piece of property. Santana (who used to date Sam, remember… though I’m pretty sure it was just to make various people mad/jealous) called Sam boring and told him his impressions suck (lies – all lies) and said Brit shouldn’t be with him. He told Santana he wasn’t going to give up without a fight. They then duet to “She’s Mine” – again, alluding to Brittany like she is something to be owned. Epic le sigh. When the song ended, Sam admitted that he knows Santana still loves Brit, but the best thing for Brit is to be with him right then and asked Santana to let her go.

 

And then the crazy really kicked in… Tina was walking down the hallway and her VO was telling herself that she deserved better with regard to whatever she thought was going down between her and Blaine… but then, she saw him at his locker (his cold is worse and he’s blowing his nose into tissues like a champ) and called him a “precious Tiger Beat shrinkydink.” (Oh my goodness, I wish Tiger Beat was still a thing…). Tina did/said something to which Blaine replied, “Thanks lady, you’re so sweet.” She actually got mad at him for giving her a compliment and told him she didn’t want to be sweet, she wanted to be a badass. Blaine told her there are bunch of Asian divas and promptly listed off a few (snaps for including B.D. Wong – holla!). He then invited her over to his house later to help her pick out a diva song. He swore he would help her, “even if it kills me.” (It might not have killed you, Blaine, but it certainly made sizable pieces of my heart shrivel up and die.) Tina grinned like the stalker person she was becoming and called him “Blainey Days.” I subsequently wrote “NO ME GUSTA” in my notebook.

 

After the commercial break, we found ourselves in Blaine’s impeccably clean room (his Dalton Stepford ways have obviously not left him…) and the first thing I noticed were the several pictures of Kurt and Klaine on Blaine’s nightstand. Even though they are clearly on display for anyone (including Tina) to see, Tina asked “Have you ever been with a girl?” Blaine hadn’t, “No, perfect gold star gay,” but commented how he did make out with Rachel. However, that just solidified his gay-status even more, so we’re quicker to forgive him for that than for cheating on Kurt w/Eli. Blaine does admit that he loves women and thinks they’re beautiful, but he wouldn’t be with them. Tina commented that he’s young and alluded to the fact that he’d grow out of being gay (seriously, Tina?). Blaine offered up his computer and she saw he made her a playlist of diva songs. He was still super sick and very tired, so she told him to lie down. He did and promptly fell asleep on his own bed. Tina Cohen Crazy on the other hand, decided to pour out her feelings for her Gay BFF.

 

Tina confessed she read about divas and how they should be brutally honest. So, she said she’s falling for Blaine and that though it could be a tragic thing, she would be in a sexless relationship with him because it would be worth it. She asked him to say something, but the poor boy was sleeping. So, Tina did what a freaking crazy person would do and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. She then straddled him and started rubbing vapor-rub on him, weeping silently as she stroked the goo across his bare chest. Then, she lay down next to him and snuggled him.

 

HOLD THE FRIGGIN’ PHONE, TINA.

 

This was not okay. Regardless that they are friends, one does not partially undress a sleeping person, straddle him/her, rub medicine on them, and then snuggle them without their consent. This was basically harassment… if Tina was a guy and Blaine was a girl, that would have been a clear-cut example of sexual harassment. Actually, what Tina did was sexual harassment. Oblivious Blaine is unaware that Tina has a massive more-than-crush on him. And in this scene, Tina completely took advantage of him. They didn’t have sex, obviously, but what she did was completely inappropriate. I’m appalled that the writers are writing Tina this way with no consequences thus far. This is the third episode where she has used her crush on Blaine to exploit him in some way. She suggested a whole Men of McKinley calendar to see him as Sexy Santa. Now she’s rubbing Vicks on his chest while he’s passed out. It was really disturbing to watch and I feel horrible for Jenna Ushkowitz for getting the worst character arc of all time.

 

While I tried desperately to unsee what just happened, the show shifted back to NYC. It was Midnight Madness (where Brody was the emcee) and the rules were that after the song, the audience stands behind who they think won (and only silent applause…). “This is not a performance; it’s a blood sport.” (I wish, Brody… you told us this was NYADA Fight Club. I wanted to see Kurt punch Rachel, or at least slap her across the face.)

 

Kurt went first, followed by Rachel (though their singing was juxtaposed so it was like they sang at the same time…) and they both sang “Bring Him Home” from Les Mis. As I’m not a Les Mis Stan, nor do I really like this song (sorry, not sorry), I can honestly say that I thought Rachel sang the song better (as much as I hate Rachel, I like Lea Michele’s voice a bit better than Chris Colfer’s…), but I wanted Kurt to win because I hate Rachel. I also wrote in my notes, “oh hey – Adam is at the sing-off.”  When the song was over, the audience stood behind their person, and Kurt won (though Brody said it was the closest margin in Midnight Madness history).

 

Suck it, Berry.

 

In Lima, Sue had Santana in her office and asked if any of the Glee ex-patriots had jobs because they all seemed to have enough free time to keep popping back in town. Santana said she had a light schedule, but the truth was she dropped out of school a month ago. Sue offered Santana the Cheerios, saying she could take over when Sue was gone. Santana was thinking about taking said offer because she’d be close to Brit and had enough money to by a mansion (remember, her mom gave her money last season for college/grown-up responsibility purposes).

 

And then we were back to Crazy Cohen Chang… she ripped a creepy picture of her and Blaine out of her locker and then stormed over to Blaine. Blaine was happy to see her (and called her “Tay Tay” – ew) and thanked her for the soup. Tina flipped out at him because she did so much for him, but he didn’t appreciate it. (Um… he just said thank you for the soup. And you rubbed medicine on him while he was passed out.) We were then in the courtyard where Tina sang Madonna’s “Hung Up” among a group of dancer people. (And I wrote in my notes – “WTF, Tina? You say you won’t settle, but you never had a chance with Blaine to begin with because he’s gay and he has no idea what is going on with your mood swings because he is too oblivious to realize that you like him like that.”) Blaine was confused but still enamored by the performance. And there was a mid-song wardrobe change. I just shook my head.

 

What happened to nice/non-crazy Tina who helped Mike Chang get into college? I miss her.

 

In NYC, Adam and Kurt are talking in the hallway. (For the record, I am totally fine with them being besties. Adam seems nice. He’s just not going to marry Kurt, that’s all…) Adam was very supportive of Kurt’s performance. Then the mean gay guys from earlier sauntered up and Kurt had none of it – he told them they were obnoxious and that they shouldn’t say bad things about Adam’s Apples because then he would challenge them to a Midnight Madness – and they all know how that turns out. Then, instead of having a meaningful conversation with Adam in the hallway, Kurt saw Rachel looking sad and self-loathing, so he excused himself and went over to her t-shirt wearing self. She’s super down on herself and told Kurt that he should go audition for Funny Girl (oh yeah… the big to-do with them this episode was that there were upcoming auditions for Funny Girl on Broadway. Rachel Berry does not deserve this role, btw. And if the writers give this to her, I will yell at my TV more than I already did.).

 

In the glee club at McKinley, the Diva Award went to Tina. (Well, she was the craziest person this episode… so, she deserved it.) I laughed when Brit said “She’s never won anything!” Because Tina hasn’t… unless getting the most f-ed up plot line ever is winning something.

 

In the hallway, Blaine gave Tina a chocolate rose and said he was waiting for people to recognize she’s a diva. He then apologized to her for not being grateful that she took care of him. He then tells her she’s the most important person to him at the school and that he hasn’t felt that way in awhile (what about Sam?!). Blaine then doubly nailed the lid on his own average-sized coffin when he asked Tina to be his date for Mr. Schue’s wedding the following week. (Oh Blainers, don’t use the word “date” around Tina… she’ll think you two are actually going out. I can’t wait for Kurt to give her a reality check next week.)

 

Meanwhile, at the Bushwick Mansion, Kurt told Rachel he snagged them the last two slots for Funny Girl auditions in 3 weeks. Rachel is still moping about because she realized she’s a diva and people don’t like her (ding ding ding!). Kurt was a much nicer person than he could have been and told her that she had been a nightmare, but was a diva because she’s a talented artist. They make up much too quickly for my liking (shouldn’t he be a little more pissed about Brody moving in?), but c’est la Glee.

 

Back in Emma’s office, Finn found her flipping out about wedding plans because she wanted things to be perfect. (Will told her the centerpiece was fine, but she took that to mean it wasn’t…) She got super stressed out and was saying “I can’t do this, I can’t get married,” and things were crazy… and then things got way crazy when Finn told her to stop and then kissed her on the mouth. (At which I yelled, “OH NO” at my television for the umpteenth time that night.) What is going on?!

 

In the auditorium, Brittany tells Santana that she’s not breaking up with Sam and Santana told her to aim higher. Brit knew Santana was not dating Elaine and that she dropped out of school. She also tells her former gf that it’s okay to follow your dreams. (*cough* NYC *cough*) Then Brit said, “Rachel found a new guy and I heard Kurt did too” (Say WHAT now? Adam is not a new guy… I mean, he’s new and he’s a guy, but he’s not Kurt’s boyfriend.). They hug and Santana calls Brit her best friend and then they shared a super chaste kiss. Brit left and Santana launched into “Girl on Fire” … we then saw her leave the halls of McKinley and eventually walk her way up some subway steps and knock on Kurt and Rachel’s door. They were surprised to see her and she said, “I’m moving in.” (Of course she is… I can’t wait for her and Rachel to have some fights. And I hope Santana tries to butt into Kurt’s love life. Just sayin’…)

 

And then the horrible episode ended (thank you Grilled Cheesus) and we got a crappy promo for “I Do” which hopefully means the actual episode itself will be great.

 

Thoughts?  Were you as creeped out with Tina as I was? Were you glad for diva Blaine and all the Santana songs?