So, this is obviously more than a week late, but I don’t even feel bad because that wasn’t a Glee finale, per se, but a poorly cliffhangered episode that will just pick back up exactly where it left off in a few months. If anything, I’m welcoming this hiatus Journey-style (with Open Arms) and am hoping that when the writers get back to work, they can step their game up and give Glee Season 5 some much needed help.
Because this is hella late (real life happened, you guys… and would you believe some of that real life involved me watching a number of the Glee cast practically bypass the fans at the Fox Fan Front – though, bless Darren’s heart because that boy tried to sign stuff for people and take pictures with as many people as he could), I’m not even going to bother re-capping the whole episode, but I will touch on the major storylines – those that were wrapped up and those that weren’t. (Spoiler alert – most weren’t, though I kind of didn’t care.).
Rachel’s Funny Girl Audition
I was grateful they got this out of the way near the beginning of the episode. She sings Celine Dion’s “To Love You More” (a personal favorite of mine that I have sung into my hairbrush/water bottle/shampoo bottle/writing implement more times than one should ever admit) and it’s good, but is it Fanny Brice good? One of the people auditioning her says, “Thank you, Rachel. We’ll let you know.”
And then that was it of the Rachel Berry story line for the episode! Does she get the part? Does she not get the part? We don’t know and I don’t care. Honestly, I don’t think the character of Rachel Berry is ready for a leading role on the Great White Way. But, since Rachel gets everything handed to her, she’ll probably get the part. But, like I said, I’m not invested in anything to do with Rachel Berry anymore.
Bye Bye Brittany
Brittany started the episode at MIT and was being spoken to by some professors and Deans. Though she had a near perfect SAT score, she got a 0 on a math test that morning. She scribbled (in crayon) a bunch of numbers down and they believe her to be the most brilliant scientific mind since Einstein.
When she got back to Lima, something was off. Brittany started acting out and demanding solos at Regionals. She quit Glee club, then broke up with Sam via text while he was in the same room as her and said she missed lady kisses.
Brit quits Cheerios and nails her 95 Theses to the door of Roz’s office. Sue and Will then tried to talk to Brittany, but she only said she would talk on her own terms, so they do an episode of Fondue for 2. Brittany asked if Will and Emma were getting married (they were after Regionals) and then claimed she knew the identity of Sue’s baby’s celebrity father (Michael Bolton – which Sue confirmed as true).
Meanwhile, Sam called Santana and said he needed to speak with her about Brittany and asked for her help. That raised a red flag for Santana because she knew Sam wouldn’t call unless it was important.
Santana came back to Lima and does a Fondue for 2 with Brittany where she confronted her and told Brittany to stop. She also said she still cared about Brittany (which we all knew anyway).
Brittany came back to Glee club before they were supposed to go on for Regionals. They do a show circle and she tearily admitted that she was offered early submission to MIT and that she needed to leave immediately. She gave a really sad speech about how people told her she was stupid but that the glee club made her believe in herself. (It was here in my notes that I jotted down, “Brittany, your HeMo is showing.”) Then, Brittany said something nice(ish) about everyone in the room. I got a little bit said when she addressed Sam because they were crying and then there was hugging and it got a little emotional, but in a good way instead of a preachy way that Glee has been known to do.
After Regionals, Brittany sat alone on the stage and Santana joined her. They hugged and I was kind of confused/not paying attention to their storyline. I’m assuming since Brittany is leaving that the Britanna storyline is over (or at least very much on hold)? Who knows?
I’m not shocked that Brittany is leaving. HeMo is pregnant and that character has gotten less interesting ever since they made her extraordinarily stupid. It used to be that she would have quality one-liners, but then they made her meanish and really dumb and it was a huge turn off to watch.
The Catfish is Revealed and It’s a Surprise to No One but Ryder
You guys – Ryder just couldn’t take it anymore. He stopped Glee rehearsal and demanded to be told who his catfish was or else he wouldn’t perform at Regionals. He started to go berserk, so Marley stood up and said it was her (but you could totally tell she was covering for someone). Ryder got pissed off and walked out.
Later, Marley tried to convince Ryder that they needed him for Regionals. He just wanted to know why she did it when she had told him before that it wasn’t her. Unique stepped out and revealed that she was the catfish and that Marley didn’t have to cover for her. Marley left the two of them to talk and Unique spilled that she liked Ryder and that everything they shared was real. She said she didn’t do it to hurt Ryder and asked that he not punch her. Ryder told her, “We don’t have anything” and that while he wasn’t going to punch her, he also was not going to talk to her.
After their Regionals victory, Ryder and Unique shared a hug that was in the moment, but then he backed away from her and their relationship (or lack thereof) was left hanging.
This is a plot that I hope they revisit and address next season. Ryder and Unique were at odds earlier in Season 4 when Ryder would not acknowledge Unique as a “her.” They made up after that feud, and things seemed fine. But, now that Unique knowingly advanced upon Ryder using another person’s identity, which is a horse of a different color. Ryder bared his soul to “Katie” and Katie did the same thing in turn, but Ryder was under false pretenses that Katie was Katie and not Unique. Though they are likely to work it out (because you can’t have two glee kids flat-out hate each other for an extended period of time), it’ll be interesting to see how it is addressed. Ryder is understandable upset because he thought he was falling for a girl and he wasn’t – he was falling for Unique. And while Unique identifies as female, she is not the kind of girl that Ryder is looking for.
The New Directions were up against the Waffletoots (played by the Wiffenpoofs) and the Hoosierdaddies (which featured guest star/American Idol alum Jessica Sanchez as Frieda Romero).
The Waffletoots sang a classy version of Rainbow Connection (another personal favorite) and they did not get enough screen time.
The Hoosierdaddies sang “Clarity” (not the John Mayer song) and “Wings.” I was not familiar with either of these songs, nor was I a Jessica Sanchez fan while she was on Idol, so I tuned out while they were on screen. I would have rather had some plot with characters I cared about instead of two songs from someone I hope to never see on the show again.
When the New Directions FINALLY took the stage, they sang songs I didn’t know either. The guys sang “Hall of Fame” (okay, so I knew this one…) and then the girls sang something called “I Love It” (I think?). They then ended their set with Blaine and Marley singing one of Marley’s original songs, “All or Nothing” (Also the title of the episode… though silly me was hoping they would sing the classic O-Town jam “All or Nothing.” Alas.). During this song, a tearful Santana passed a tissue to a similarly tearful Kurt and just this week we found out that there was supposed to be a line of dialogue during this scene where it is announced that Kurt still loves Blaine. (This will be important in the Klaine section coming up…)
The New Directions placed first and Nationals is in LA, so we’ll get that at some point in the middle of next season. (Cooper Anderson lives in LA, right?)
Wemma got married after Regionals. Their vows were basically flashbacks to moments from Season 1 when he was still married to Terri. They blab on about “one true loves” and the camera pulled back to reveal Blaine standing next to Kurt while wiggling an engagement ring box behind his back.
So, the engagement ring box was the big cliffhanger of the season, which caused a lot of us to groan because Blaine should not be asking Kurt to marry him (for a couple reasons – 1. They aren’t even officially back together yet and 2. Burt Hummel just told Blainers last episode that they are not ready to be getting engaged/married. AND YOU ALWAYS LISTEN TO BURT HUMMEL.)
So how did we get here?
Well, near the beginning of the episode, Sam stopped his BFF Blaine in the hallway and said that Blaine was not ready to get married yet. (That’s TWO people telling you this, Blainers. Two.) Sam brought up how Blaine wasn’t even sure where Kurt stood with Adam (oh, he’s still a character?) and that he’s just not ready. Blaine, being the romantic young gay, said that people like him have been waiting hundreds of years to be able to get married legally. Then he tried to guilt Sam into ring shopping with him by saying that he wanted Sam to be his best man.
Blaine did go ring shopping and he brought Tina. Ugh. Tina, stop trying to make Blina happen. She goes on about what she would want for a ring and Blaine reminded her for likely the umpteenth time that the ring is for Kurt. Luckily, a kindly saleswoman named Jan (Patty Duke!) stepped in and ran interference. She asked who the ring was for and Blainers poorly explained that it was for his boyfriend, or rather they weren’t boyfriends, but it was for someone he loved very much and wanted to spend forever with. When Jan asked Blaine to tell her about his man, Tina rolled her eyes and exited the conversation (because Blaine wants a MAN, Tina, geez). Blaine was all sorts of shocked when Jan legitimately wanted to hear him out. Turned out Jan had a partner named Elizabeth and they talk about soul mates and Blaine was smitten with Jan and how she wanted to be his gay fairy godmother. Jan told him it didn’t matter how young or old you were with regard to love.
Just then, Sam walked in the jewelry store and told Blaine that he loved him and wanted to support him. Jan thought that Sam was Blaine’s loved one, but they quickly shook her off. Sam said, “He wants to do me, but we’re just friends.” This annoyed Blaine (and made me love Sam that much more), causing Sam to retort, “You do want to do me.”
I love Blam. Blam is the second greatest thing to ever happen to Glee. (The first being that Darren was cast as Blaine.)
Blaine, Kurt, Jan and Elizabeth all go out for dinner at Breadstix and the women tell the boys about how they met and their relationship. They broke up twice and got back together twice and had basically been through thick and thin with each other over the past 30 years. Kurt asked how Jan and Blaine met and they lie – saying they met at the food court in the mall. (The truth best come out at some point – just sayin’.) Elizabeth called Kurt and Blaine a sweet couple and Blaine thanked her while Kurt quickly quipped “Oh, we’re not a couple.” Blaine’s heart broke just a little bit and I just got angry at my television. I get that they aren’t together and am fine with that, but we know how Blaine feels about Kurt. We have little to no idea what Kurt feels about Blaine. (Now, remember back to the cut line of dialogue between Kurt and Santana from Regionals… Kurt still loves Blaine. BUT, based off of what we are seen on the show and Kurt’s dialogue post-4×15, we actually have no idea because most of Kurt’s scenes have been about Rachel, or his dad, or there were a couple involving Blaine in 4×21 – but even those were from Blaine’s POV.)
While still at Breadstix, Jan proposed to Elizabeth and they kiss. It’s adorable and Blaine and Kurt (and everyone else in the restaurant) are happy for them, but you could see that Blainers was a little sad/jealous.
And that was the last of Klaine in the episode. They were in the same room during the show circle before Regionals, and they were next to each other while Wemma was exchanging vows, but we got no sense of Klaine closure.
This is not a cliffhanger, though – it’s just more of the same from Season 4.
Glee starts back up at the end of August/beginning of September and plot-wise, it should be picking up exactly where it left off. The McKinley kids are mid-school year, so graduation will likely be happening around the time the Christmas episode normally airs. It’s going to be a bit of a mind game, but my guess is that they were just trying to keep this crop of McKinley seniors (mostly Blam) at McKinley as long as possible. I’m hoping once they “graduate,” the show will just shift to NYC and that the back half of Season 5 and then all of Season 6 will be Klaine in NYC. (And Sam needs to be there too…)
I’m going to be just fine during this hiatus because there were no plot lines to even remotely panic over.
Have a great summer, Gleeks. I’m sure I’ll see some of you at Darren’s concert in June.